I've been going super slow but I'm almost done with college now. I put a lot of effort into the family farm and I plan on moving to my own farm using money from selling my house. Shit's not wrapped up but it's getting better. I got off the internet for a full year and got myself some fuckin hobbies lol. Now I can make cheese, carve wood, do some super beginner level stained glass, and I got way better at art. I'm on the Dean's list again, which I know isnt a big deal for a lot of people but I'm the first person in my family with a four year degree. I hope to use it to work remotely so I can focus on my animals and projects at home. I got real into gardening and food preservation.
I had to kinda go off the face of the earth because there was no telling exactly who was getting info back to people that affected my safety, so I thought the best course of action was to just cut contact with everyone. On top of that there was just a lot of bad blood in the water. Then I had lots of money issues related to that entire situation, so I lost electricity and internet. It left me with a lot of time to realize how much of an addiction the electronic stuff had become for me. I used it as a coping mechanism and an escape when my grandpa was murdered and I needed to find healthy coping mechanisms instead, so it was a lucky happenstance that I was cut off cold turkey. I was not doing well for a while, emotionally, financially, health wise I had a tumor the size of a baby's head which lead to a bunch of hormone imbalances, it ate one of my ovaries and I am now sterile after surgery. I think that was a cause of a lot of my mental issues as well, because afterwards I feel a shit ton more stable. Also I figured out I was gluten intolerant lol.
Either way a lot has changed, I feel like a completely different person now visiting the ghost of who I used to be. It's a weird feeling, it's not all good. But I hope to learn from the mistakes I made here and face any accountability I have to.