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Red Lion

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About Red Lion

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    red-lionthe-bartender

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    kurt_kraus2

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  1. What's the fuck up with my neighbors and friends

    Probably a good policy never to drop any toothbrush in any sink tbh. Granted the traces of E.coli bacteria are probably still not as bad as the cocktail of veg and meat rot that tends to accumulate in the basin of a kitchen sink. Poop is super yucky but medically speaking there are actually worse things your body can come into contact with.
  2. What's the fuck up with my neighbors and friends

    I agree with Vae. it'd be one thing if you were the ONLY person using the sink but you have other people to consider. If this new guy pays as much rent as you do then it doesn't really matter who was there first. I'd also have a problem with someone brushing his teeth in the kitchen sink. A( I don't wanna have to watch you brush your teeth, gargle, and spit in the same room where I prep and eat my food. It's just plain rude tbh and B(A sink is a sink there's no reason you can't use the one in the bathroom, privately. It's also not hygienic, and I don't mean because of your germs specifically but if you were to drop your tooth brush in that sink you run the risk of getting all kinds of nasty bacteria on it and a simple rinse is not going to be enough to kill all of them. You're putting yourself at a higher risk for parasites, salmonella, or mold born infections, even if you regularly clean your sink the sheer amount of food particles that ends up in there on a daily basis makes it impossible to keep sanitary. Your bathroom sink is likely cleaner and doesn't come into contact with raw meats or rotten food, it's just more sensible to brush there.
  3. Never said it was a piece of cake, it's still an available option and a good deal easier for women who are single to make a case that the father is uninvolved. On the safe haven law thing. I think you're overestimating the efficiency and willingness of the of the system to find the parents of abandoned children. There's actually a debate going on whether the Safe Haven Laws are a violation of the father's rights. Specifically because it can be difficult for a father to find and reclaim an abandoned child. In NC and many other states the total anonymity and lack of legal ramifications mean that even if a father is actively looking for a child it is not a guarantee that he will succeed in finding it (If the child is left in another county or state his chances are extremely slim) And in NC there are no legal ramifications for a woman, married, unmarried, involved or uninvolved in a relationship if she chooses to leave her baby at a safe haven, unless signs of abuse are present. She is not required to identify herself, she is not required to name a father. It is not a crime nor is it currently considered custodial interference for her to leave her newborn at a hospital or fire station. In many states leaving your child at a safe haven relieves you of both your parental rights and legal liability. And to be honest most "reasonable attempts" In NC, and I'm sure other states, particularly in the south, to find the non surrendering parent begin and end with a brief notice in the newspaper in the county where the child was surrendered. About the same amount of effort as finding a missing dog. Again, the biggest hurdle in giving up a child is going to be to a married woman with an involved partner. Most of which aren't going to pursue either safe haven or adoption processes in the first place. https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/safehaven.pdf only 14/50 states even require that law enforcement determine whether the baby is reported missing. It varies a lot between states but in a lot of cases effort to contact or find the father or reunite the child with the non-surrendering parent will be minimal to non-existent.
  4. Even if his name is on the certificate, he can be deemed unfit and his right to consent can be waived. The largest hurdle is in a situation where the father is present and active. Not just on the certificate, but actively supporting the mother and/or child. If a woman can convince the court that it is in the child's best interest to be adopted out then that is the decision the court will go with. Not always easy but not impossible. The long and short of it is that you seem think a named father's consent is an ironclad requirement, while I think that's not as set in stone as you're making it out to be. Also, again, if all else fails, safe haven laws. If a woman really wants to give up her kid there are places she can leave it without giving her own identity.
  5. https://parkerherringlawgroup.com/adoption/adoption-without-fathers-consent-north-carolina/ If a father is uninvolved or not deemed "supportive" his consent is usually not needed. He also doesn't necessarily even have to be aware of the pregnancy. A woman has to answer truthfully IF HE DIRECTLY ASKS, but if he's not present in the mother's life and not in contact with the mother then she usually won't be required to seek him out. https://www2.ncdhhs.gov/info/olm/manuals/dss/csm-50/man/CSs1302-01.htm Here in NC a potential father sometimes has to PROVE that he is a capable and willing parent before he is given the right to prevent an adoption. Depending on the judge and the county that can be extremely difficult for an unwed father. He usually has to meet a certain financial and criminal standard (again depending on the judge and district) before his consent is deemed necessary. Yes, there is a lot of technical legal bullshit but there are also a lot of ways around getting a father's consent and they aren't as hard as people think. Or if you wanna skip all the legal hoops you can literally just dump the kid http://safehaven.tv/states/northcarolina/ Heck you can drop it off with ANY RESPONSIBLE ADULT and that adult can take the child to the nearest hospital or police station. The crisis center where I started working is a safe haven. A woman can leave a newborn there, no questions asked.
  6. Shower Thoughts

    If the pulp of a fruit can be considered the "meat" does that mean the juice is like blood? Are we fruit vampires?
  7. Things That You Don't Understand!

    Why people feel the need to make vague posts about bullshit going on in their personal lives. As opposed to actually discussing it or keeping it private, they go the route of doing a halfway thing that defeats the purpose of either. They're not gonna air out their dirty laundry but they're gonna make sure everyone knows "someone" shit the sheets last night.
  8. Honestly women have plenty of alternatives when it comes to dealing with unwanted pregnancies, including giving up the child for adoption. Regardless of personal sentiments of morality I don't see any real reason why the father shouldn't have the same options.
  9. Artist gripes

    It might deter some of them at least. *shrug* it's worth a shot.
  10. Artist gripes

    Usually I just block them. I used to reply to them directly but I no longer have the interest in starting an argument with these entitled shits or the people who come to their defense. if it gets particularly bad I turn anon off for awhile. That usually stops it. The hilarious part is that these messages started appearing after I told another Anon that won't do ships involving real people. I had just posted a list of art I won't make and apparently some people found it to be an unreasonable list and a few of them pointed out specifically "Celebs/real people" and "Shipping minors with adults." "Hardcore NSFW is out. I try to keep the content on this blog pg-pg13ish Anything related to an anime is out. Ships featuring underage characters with adult characters. Out Ships I don’t care for like “Kylo Ren x Rey” are out. I will let you know if your suggestion falls into that category. Anything that sexualizes minors. Out Ships involving celebrities or any real people. Out Art that involves an excessive amount of teal. I know that one is weird but I find teal to be not just an unpleasant color, but an unpleasant experience. " Everyone is strangely ok with teal being on the list tho. That's the one I would totally give them for finding unreasonable but no. Adults with minors and real people, that's what they're dying to get art of. I got an anon trying to tell me why student age Harry Potter x Snape isn't unhealthy and should be considered an exception.
  11. Artist gripes

    Just blowing off some steam, not anything major. As a hobby I make art and while it's not amazing art, I do get requests and have watchers on Deviant Art, Tumblr, and FA. Things usually go pretty smoothly but every now and then I'll get messages demanding certain types of content. When these messages come in the form of a legitimate request I don't find them too troublesome, I tend to just politely decline and go about my business. But then there's this: Among other messages off the same type. "Please, sir, I'm but a poor, broke, mentally ill person and I want to see art of my m/m Harry Potter ocs. I want it a lot and it would be really nice of you to just give it too me!" "Artists should make things for free because art should be available to everyone!!!" "Gimme free shit because that's what Jesus would do!" Gets on my damn nerves >8[
  12. Thoughts on gay cake case in front of SCOTUS

    I think this is a case where the context really matters. The entire United States is covered by the Federal Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination by privately owned places of public accommodation on the basis of ethnicity, nationality or religion and I think sexual orientation and gender expression need to be added to this list. However, there is a difference between a bakery saying "We don't sell to gays at all" vs "We don't make x kind of wedding cake here." if someone owns a private business I think they should maintain the right to say the latter, but not the former. Which is to say that they should maintain the right to decide specifically what products and themes they choose to make/sell. I don't see the benefit in forcing a Christian establishment to make a wedding cake for non-Christian weddings. I would also say that if the establishment were Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise then it would be unethical to force them to make cakes for Christian weddings. If an establishment specifically made LG wedding cakes I would not want a law forcing them to cater to straight weddings. Their business, their money. Realistically speaking, I don't see why you would refuse to make anybody a wedding cake. You could make a very generic cake and have the couple buy their own topper separately, but allowing businesses to have some level of freedom means that a few of them will use that freedom to be assholes. As long as they can only be assholes on a private level I don't really care too much.
  13. Toxic Victim Mentalities

    Yes, I wasn't trying to imply that they can't. Though I don't always require romance in a partnership. To clarify, most of my het relationships have treated the two like they were separate entities. Friendship is what you have with your buddies and romance is what you have with your SO. My queer relationships have been a lot more chill though they felt less conventionally "romantic". There was no emphasis on anniversaries, dating norms, gender roles and other things I had assumed didn't actually matter but mattered a lot to my straight partners.
  14. Toxic Victim Mentalities

    I 100% agree with all of this. Tbh I don't really do monogamy anymore, it hasn't really worked for me in years. I've never cheated on anyone but every serious monogamous relationship I was in seemed to have these ridiculous rules. No porn, no looking at other people, I'm pansexual so every friend of any gender was treated like a potential threat. It never lasted long because I put no value on sex beyond being a basic need like food. It's completely separate from my emotional or romantic interests and I don't even feel sexual attraction in a conventional kind of way. It's more, meet someone, really get to know and like them, attraction blooms. But my partners always seemed obsessed with sex, not so much in having it, but in sexual availability and sexual attraction. Like their whole sense of value revolved around how bangable they were. And if I'm totally honest I value friendship over romance. I would rather spend the rest of my life with my best friend than any romantic partner I've ever had. I mean, the initial romantic feelings tend to die off with time and if you're not left with a deep bond after that what do you have? Most of my life takes place outside of the bedroom and I don't like a relationship to revolve around sex and attraction. I feel like those two elements are always over emphasized in conventional romance. Romantic love in general is hyped as the ultimate life goal and I think that perception has legitimately wrecked some people of their ability to function without a partner.
  15. Toxic Victim Mentalities

    One I see a lot and have even been on the receiving end of a couple of time is the "testing your partner" thing that some people, usually women, like to do. Specifically, they send you a pic, ask if x is attractive, and you just KNOW it's a trap. On the surface this seems kind of trival, even something to joke about or dismiss as a dumb girlfriend thing. But honestly, it sends off a red flag for me. Because it's always a symptom of a much bigger issue. For one, you're being set up to fail. You can say "sure, that person is attractive" and this leads to yelling, crushed feelings and jealousy. If you go the other way and deny that X is attractive you're just going to get called a liar. From some types of people "Is this person attractive" is not a real question, it's a way to instigate drama. It's a way to manufacture a situation that lets them be the victim while you are the victimizer. They are looking to be upset and they are hoping that they'll get reassurances and apologies. In my experience giving in to that and giving them what they want always leads to them doing it more often, until they're asking more than you can ever give them. Because it's never enough, it never ends and ultimately you're just feeding a monster. I find the general desire to be a victim in any scenario kind of unhealthy. Because to make that a reality you have to make someone else an abuser. Even if the other party did nothing unreasonable, these people find ways to spin a situation so that they always come out as the hurt party. One ex managed to try and turn my breaking up with them into an abuser/victim scenario. She always made me feel like she was settling, like she thought she was too unattractive to get the kind of person she really wanted so being with me was a better alternative than being alone. I heard "I'm terrified of being alone" way more often than "I love you" or "I like being with you." So after being in that dynamic started killing my confidence and straining my ability to find any kind of joy in the relationship I called it quits. She tried to guilt me into staying, implying that it was morally irresponsible of me to leave. When I wasn't swayed she switched tactics and got mean, accusing me of forcing her to repress her emotions and pretend to be something she wasn't to win my affection. It almost worked to, she had me wondering if I was the toxic person in this relationship. But feeling guilty and questioning myself isn't something that will ever motivate me to stay with someone. I always assumed that with time and new relationships I'd eventually forget about all the past bullshit but I can't help feeling wary whenever anyone tells me they're afraid of being alone. Fear of loneliness is valid. I don't think it's inherently an unreasonable fear, but now I find myself wondering, when people say that they are afraid to be alone, if it's an admission that their fear outweighs their genuine desire to be with me and I find myself feeling the urge to start running before I end up trapped. I expect everyone to have insecurities but some people like to have those insecurities fed and it doesn't take long before they start to leech you of all your time, energy and mental wellness. Idk what the real point of this thread is, just to vent I guess? Anyway, feel free to share your own experiences and thoughts.
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