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I have nobody to vent to but myself (earned it, didn't I?). I'm watching the few friendships I have die left and right and family isn't able to fill that hole. Mentors and teachers are beginning to move on with their lives, approaching retirement and all - leaving me with a stalking father and an inflammatory mother, who seem to be getting back together. To be blunt, it made the constant back and forth between court cases a waste of time and breath. The infighting within the apartment isn't changing, and in fact, got violent again (my sister and her boyfriend spoke of slitting each other throats as well, but thankfully never happened) The pastor of my has now left to a different place - possibly due to the uncooperative nature of the consistory. They simply were not able to keep the children within the church walls, and there's only so many times you can teach the same sermon to the same people before you come to the realization that you're wasting your time. In a conversation with him, he has entrusted me with the children again, and I'm unsure with how well I'll do (I've been disconnected with the church and Christianity for quite a few months now). As he was someone I could vent to, he's no longer going to be an option for the time being. Perhaps, after he's installed into the new church. Friendships,are beginning to loose their meaning, especially emotionally. Even some of my highschool 'friends' who I've had the pleasure of living with for 4 months (total) seemed to be incredibly distant after college started. Maybe, it was because they didn't like me from the beginning, and that I was, at most, tolerable. They never seemed to want to tell me back then. Hell, they didn't even tell me of the things they were doing (parties, drinking and all other nonsense). Throughout the year, I had to gradually cut ties with those people but it's only making me feel more desperate. It's terrible, honestly. There's one friend that I wish to talk about, but that's far too deep down the rabbit hole. The story ends with much guilt beyond what this forum can allow. I can understand if relationships are difficult, but abusive relationships are a no-go. Threatening each other (You're engaged!) solves nothing and only shows how unstable the relationship actually is. Judging by the arguments that they frequently get into (the last notable one was on Father's Day) my sister seems to only care about how much money a man can make and consistently flaunts her associates degree in his face. She seems to always require some assurance from someone else (especially me: youngest, as she has told me was angry-jealous of me and how I seem to get away with everything) He's a stoner, his future has already been set in it - and there's very little she can do about it. It's probably the last string that keeping him the slightest bit sane. He's probably just as prideful as her and seems to always point about how he and I are Leos and she's a Gemini who will never understand him. Because he 'doesn't care' about money, he sits and does nothing apart from walking the dog in front of the building in back. No searching for a job... Nothing.