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It's one of the worst things to see, is someone you care about, or someone who would otherwise seem to be an outstanding figure, be torn apart day by day in the most disturbing way. Nothing about it is physical, a blind disease, eating at someone from the inside, and you can only watch that shell of a person screaming on the inside, while otherwise seeming fine to the naked public eye. It's heartwrenching and toxic, and I'd be lying if I said I understand how it feels. I dont. I only have a sheer outside understanding and knowledge of what's in the mind of an ill-fated person, of what struggles and pitfalls lie behind the mind's eye. All of which I could have just as well once been ignorant to...had I not had the secondhand experiences to watch, and the resources to know about and get a glimpse of what it is. It's the hardest thing to help someone with these feelings cope with day to day life. Just what can you do or say? I absolutely hate the "typical" response, "You have nothing to be sad about", "It will pass", "It will be okay/it will get better". Times like these, I dont bother telling the oblivious truths or spouting woeful optimisms that sound trite and useless, I tell a truth...I find something I believe to be true, and tell it, sometimes it isnt much, but I believe in realism more than flightly optimisms. It's still hard though, how can you tell someone they shouldnt go when you see them suffer? Sometimes I almost wish to see their suffering end, but I never condone the final way out under any circumstances, as much as I understand the final decision should it come to be. Just how can you help keep them afloat when they are almost always sinking? When everything seems to not work and there isnt much left, but you suffer day in and day out and maybe some change will come? It's hard to talk to people in these states of minds, they dwell in negativity and strife. They seem to miss or undermine details of positivity that are important factors to consider. In their mindset nothing is accomplished or nothing is good, but where I stand in my perspective I see so much more to them, something that they surely must be blind to, are they blind, or am I? I dont have the answer. Countless friends, family, peers, companions struggle with this toxic condition and its hard to see them drowning in their own skin. I only wish I can transfer them some of my mental state, some of my boundless energy I seem to have, and give them some stability in life. I believe everyone has so many different routes and options, both in life and death, and its their choosing in the paths to take, I can only guide their actions, rather then make it for them. It is my hope that someday these people find their peace, wherever it may lie, and the struggle before made them stronger, and that theyve come farther than they realized. ....that's it, hugs to all of you who feel weak, lost, and helpless. I send my regards.