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So, I started off this New Year in a not so ideal way. I slept past the countdown in my region, Its something I've never missed in my entire life.It was completely by accident; I was supposed to wake my mom up in time for it but I got sleepy after a meal I had and rest speaks for itself. 6 minutes after the new year comes in, my mom stop comes into my room saying we missed it, in a sort of humorous "Oh well" kinda way. Me, still in a daze, couldn't quite believe it. After a few minutes had passed, it sunk in that I missed out on something that I really wanted to celebrate. 2015 was overall, a pretty shit year and I know I'm not the only one who thinks that. For every good thing that happened (and the good was very few) something twice as bad followed. It felt like I could never really catch a break and it all felt hopeless. I'd spend days just laying in bed or mindlessly playing a game or sleeping. No motivation, no desire to do things, no productivity. I'd get sparks every now and again but thats just what they were. Sparks that would go out as soon as they came in. So when the New Year was right around the corner, I took it as my day to give a big "fuck you" to 2015, have a drink in my hand and celebrate with my friends online, embracing the New Year with open arms. How do I spend it in reality? Sleeping. The same thing I did in the past year. It felt like 2015 got in one final punch on me Now I don't really believe in superstition, I hate it. Thing is, when you're in a family that always believes it and applies it to almost everything, you find yourself believing in the shit too and here I was in bed, staring at the clock thinking that because I slept into the new year, that would dictate my actions for the rest of the year. That 2016 would just be repeat. I'd be doomed to another 365 days of the same insane roller coaster. I shut my eyes and fell back to asleep, wanting to believe this wasn't happening. Didn't help that when my mom came in the room a second time, she just said "Goodnight" when she usually would do the whole mushy good night routine. Mind you, she was extremely tired too, so maybe she didn't realize she said it in such a...dead way. It almost sounded like she was disappointed in me for not waking her up and not being up for the countdown. I don't know, I could be entirely wrong in my interpretation of it. Vague interactions do a good job of making you paranoid. I wake up in hour later and vent about what happened to a few friends of mine, thinking I was probably coming off as a whiny bitch. Thankfully, they could understand my feelings towards the whole thing thing by putting themselves in my shoes and they game some stellar advice. Why should I let the beginning of the year dictate how I'll be for the rest of year? Why should I feel glum because I missed out on something as arbitrary as a ball drop (in come the gay jokes :V) what matters is that I focus on improving anyway. Yeah I missed out on a chance to do that countdown with my friends, but hey, I still got to talk to them afterwards. Share some laughs and few good stories. And its not like my plans of improving in almost every aspect of myself are ruined cause I missed the new year by 6 minutes. And if my mom IS actually upset with me about missing the ball drop? Tough. I'm not gonna be down because of it anymore. Its the new year. I've had it with being upset over small things. Time to focus on the bigger stuff and push forward. So before I close this off, I might as well give my ending 2015 statement. As rough as this year was, a lot of you guys here were the highlight of all the good of this year. I'd see so many people on this forum say they felt worthless or they felt they didn't contribute much to anything and I really feel those people don't give themselves enough credit for just how helpful they are. Something as small as them making a funny post or making a thread about RAE or chatting with me for a few minutes or even commenting on how shit a certain bad furry movie is, was enough to bring a smile on my face during times of hardship and give me a glimmer of hope and I'm sure it had the same affect on other people as well :3 Heh, ironically, I should probably give myself more credit too due to the fact that I make people happy during the movie streams I host. TL:DR My New Years didn't start off how I wanted, but whatever, I'm still drinking tonight anyway...and then probably pass out from drinking too much and falling asleep :V