Search the Community

So as I keep yapping about, I'm currently at NordicFuzzCon and I'm having a blast. It's awesome! Except for one thing. But it's not their fault, it's mine. I'm... terrified of physical contact. I dunno, it's like, I think hugging a fursuiter would be awesome but I always feel like I'll have some panic attack if I ask so I just keep my distance and get too scared to make eye contact. I've been this way for such a long time and I can't be 100% what the source is but I think it might be a result of me being bullied a lot, often in physical ways, so I get a bit scared of, well, touching because my body tells me touching is bad. So I feel really weird with handshakes and even weirder with hugs. Like, really weird and a bit uncomfortable. Which made things super weird when my boyfriend visited me and he pretty much had to drag me closer to him and such on the first night. I got comfortable with him but... other people, no. My dad was visiting for my birthday and before he went home my boyfriend wanted me to hug my dad and... I just couldn't. I kind of froze and freaked out and made excuses. I've promised him to hug my dad eventually but I really don't think I can do it. >w<;; I just wanna get comfortable with touching people again. I meant, I want to hug some people at this con, but... fear just gets to me. Why am I such a goddamn mess? D: