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Today I finally got home after getting in one last rehearsal for Saturday's concert. I'm fucking sick and tired and wiped and so fucking relieved, because tonight was the last time I would have to pull an all nighter for a long time. I'm running on one hour of sleep right now (closer to 45 minutes) and it feels so good to know that that was the last time. Some context; with the way my schedule worked out, I've ended going from stressful thing to stressful thing of school since day 1 of this entire year. I picked up a difficult credit schedule with two outside ensembles that basically took up all my weekends and had me doing assignments daily alongside the work I was already doing. Finish that out and I have to prepare auditions, then immediately three days later pack up and haul out to drumcorps. Come home, get a week of rest, start teaching for a week, then relearn the packet from those previous auditions and go to college band camp. One day of break, start the worst schedule I've ever had to do. (this is relevant because I realize now I went into this semester already tired.) I ended up filling in for other ensembles while also being enrolled in 20 credits/10 classes, being requested for a bunch of concerts around the school, and just in general constantly busy. As it started I felt like I could handle it, and then October hit. I had two or more concert/performances every single weekend, all the way until November, and I only went a week without going back to playing concerts constantly. Somewhere in there one assignment ended up brutally late and everything fell apart. I had to start trying to catch up and then all of a sudden I wasn't sleeping anymore, I was missing a lot of class because of that, but then I only ended up more behind trying to cover my tracks. Then I end up sick multiple times (I'm sick right now, have been for three weeks) and it just kept getting worse and worse. I had to go home one weekend for mental health reasons and that led up to what was probably the worst two weeks of school I've ever had. Just constantly stressed and never sleeping, always worrying about deadlines. I still have exams and shit, but...I'm finally going to get to be a human again and go to sleep at night without worrying about falling behind and it feels so good to know that. I need to see a doctor, too, but...we'll get there when we get there. The moral of the story is, I'm so glad I can just sit down and finally just...breathe. tl;dr hella stressed to the point of not sleeping and now i can finally relax because the hardest part is over and i can be a person again