1000 Ways To get Kicked out of Stores

[Faust 1601]

This one only works in very posh grocery stores...

Walk up to each sales assistant in turn and ask, in the broad regional accent of your choice, where they keep the 'Kwin-nowah'

[Khaki 338]

Claim ownership of everything via urination.

[Tyranno 119]

give milk to people, then say "oops, that was my sperm bank sample"

[Feelwell 2610]

Lick the store manager aggressively.

[Tyranno 119]

screw a vending machine, then give ti a wedding ring which is actually change you put into its slot, then treat the products that come out like children

[FenrirDarkWolf 3269]

Just plain stealing

[Fossa 1625]

8 hours ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Lick the store manager aggressively.

But this always gives me discounts!

~

Walk around the produce section, and take random bites out of various fruits, that look tasty, without buying anything.

[axelthefox 70]

Build a toliet paper fort 

Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart 

Two words: Marco Polo

[Faust 1601]

Fake a zombie plague so you can grab items from the shelves with the pretext of either defending yourself or 'restoring your health'.

[Snagged 1397]

Pitch a tent inside a store and lit up a campfire in the remains of a fruit stand which you looted to forage yourself provisions for the next week

[otakufolf! 2]

On 10/27/2015 at 10:07 PM, Mr. Fox said:

Prance around with a fursuit on.

wait, we can get kicked for that?  

[FenrirDarkWolf 3269]

1 hour ago, otakufolf! said:

wait, we can get kicked for that?  

Possibly yes, out of a supermarket

[Victor-933 1851]

You know those big tower things with the nylon ropes filled with bouncy balls? Climb inside them.l

Climb inside the freezers. Bonus points if you just sit in there and hand products to customers.

Burn a CD of yourself screaming cusswords and put it in one of the demo stereos at full volume.

Or, just anything out of this video:

 

[Feelwell 2610]

2 hours ago, Victor-933 said:

You know those big tower things with the nylon ropes filled with bouncy balls? Climb inside them.l

Climb inside the freezers.

 

Wait, so are you saying "I climb inside the freezers"?

 

How to get kicked out of a store: Rolling up and down the isles on your side, screaming "I'M A WORM!" and eating the dirt off the floor.

[LazerMaster5 2629]

Blast Scandinavian black metal over the intercom.

[FlynnCoyote 809]

Stalk through the aisles with a bow and quiver of arrows. Shoot arrows into various products, and then consume your kills.

[Faust 1601]

How to get kicked INTO Walmart: stand in the car park and send in a drone with a shopping basket to fetch your groceries for you.

[Victor-933 1851]

17 hours ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Wait, so are you saying "I climb inside the freezers"?

sure why not

[Fossa 1625]

Walk around squirting people with skunk musk (available at hunting supply stores) with a powerful squirt-gun.

(Oddly, I would love to do this in a busy mall...maybe not hit people, but just because I find malls an abomination, and would love to see the reaction! Though I wouldn't wanna get arrested...huh...maybe I'd have to be more stealthy, in my approach...)

[Faust 1601]

7 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Walk around squirting people with skunk musk (available at hunting supply stores) with a powerful squirt-gun.

(Oddly, I would love to do this in a busy mall...maybe not hit people, but just because I find malls an abomination, and would love to see the reaction! Though I wouldn't wanna get arrested...huh...maybe I'd have to be more stealthy, in my approach...)

Dress in a skunk costume and hide the squirt gun in your butt, then claim to be an undiscovered species.

[Fossa 1625]

3 hours ago, Faust said:

Dress in a skunk costume and hide the squirt gun in your butt, then claim to be an undiscovered species.

Don't tempt me! 

[Faust 1601]

I

4 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Don't tempt me! 

If you do it, let me know! I can get kicked out by making a documentary about you.

[Wulfila 67]

fap in the toys section

[Snagged 1397]

6 minutes ago, vexi fox said:

fap in the toys section

Fap in to the toy and you'll get a lifetime ban from the store

[LadyRadarEars 1710]

Get two departments and ten customers to all start meowing at each other while the exasperated manager starts looking longingly at the alcohol aisle.

[Lopaw 408]

Using permanent marker pens draw genitalia onto all the store mannequins.

[Faust 1601]

Go around asking where the #deeppanalbumparty is

(Google it. It'll probably be work-safe.)

[Frig 595]

google exactly that on computer for customer use and leave it open.

[FenrirDarkWolf 3269]

getting fired

[Fossa 1625]

Along with 50 to 100 others, all go to a Best Buy store, wearing the same Khakis and that blue shirt, so you look like employees, and just stand around, looking at stuff, and doing nothing, like a typical Best Buy employee.

(oddly, this did happen in as a prank in NYC, and they kicked everyone out)

[Augmented Husky 555]

pissed on the shopping carts so no one can use them 

[Snagged 1397]

7 hours ago, Augmented Husky said:

pissed on the shopping carts so no one can use them 

"Cleanup on an isle 4"

---

Act as a portier to the bathrooms and demand a 10$ toll for the access to bathrooms. This might contribute to your way of getting kicked out of a store

 

[Faust 1601]

Eat as much packaged food as you can, then take the empty packets to the till and try to pay for them.

[Lopaw 408]

Mix all the vinegar and baking soda in the store plus red food colouring and claim you did all that for a school project.

[Data 182]

use the whipped cream cans for whippets and blackout, to wake up and find out you >insert whatever you like here<