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Vallium

The Vending Machine Game: Phoenix'd version

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Out comes a "Bahoogle."
...It's not even a search engine, just a generic piece of furniture with a weird foreign name.

In goes a candle that smells of bacon and engine grease.

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Out comes a tornado of sharks, fleeing the repellent that was put into the machine. A sharknado, if you will.

In goes one very angry honey badger.

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Out comes a very clean belch.

In goes a copy of Croesida Cowel's 'How to Train Your Dragon' book.

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Out comes a poorly trained and perhaps alcoholic dragon.

In goes 5.5 kilos of Thorium-232

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Out comes a complete run of Thor comic books, in mint condition.

In goes a watermelon, a skunk, and the ghost of Johnny Cash.

 

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Out comes a supersized person and super large McDonald's big mac.

 

In goes all of my old notes from previous math,physics, and engineering classes (I need to put them somewhere, I don't have room anymore).

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Out comes a giant letter F.

In goes the tip of a church steeple I 'accidentally' snapped off.

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Out comes the entirety of the juggalo collective wanting you to buy faygo and crash on your couch.

I put in myself, why not?

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Out comes 8 strings, a guitar without any strings, and the zombie of Narciso Yepes

In goes my hopes and dreams, my current gpa, and all my notebooks (that I forcefully stuffed in there since they normally would take up way too much room).

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Out comes a drunk and bitter 40-year-old version of you in a McDonalds uniform.
Argh! No, that's too mean!
Out comes you as a rockstar standing on a huge pile of gold snorting pure rainbow dust off a unicorn's hoof.

In goes a lettuce leaf with a slug on it.

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Out comes two slightly less hungry foxes (who are now traumatized from being forced through the inner workings of an apparently magic vending machine)

In goes all my shit I need to have moved to Virginia for my job in May.

 

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Out comes a massive hangover.

In goes three crack pipes, a case of Mountain Dew, and a membership to a vegan nutrition system.

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Out comes a hippie commune, complete with drumming circle.

In goes the sound of a Fender Stratocaster in distress.

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