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The Vending Machine Game: Phoenix'd version

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Out comes a horny furry

In goes a palm tree leaf

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Out comes a strand of tourist. dear god. what have you done

in goes furry logic.

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Out comes one of those big metal triangles used to call people to dinner. Ring-a-ling-a-ling, soup's on, everybody!

In goes... A pot of soup.

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Out comes the same old computer desk but with a Commodore 64 on it plus assorted peripherals. 

In goes 8 oz of rice sold for just 2p and 8 oz of lyle's black treacle.

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out comes an angry weasel, rolled in sticky treacle, and then, rolled in rice, looking (almost) tarred and feathered

in goes a dozed 'used' fursuits, needing a good cleaning

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Out come the same dozen fursuits but reduced significantly in size and looking no cleaner.

In go the shrunken fursuits with a good helping of Daz wash powder.

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Out pops a Vietnamese prostitute wearing cat ears

I shove in a greasy spoon waitress, named Freida, who has had a hard life and a lingering smoker's cough.

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Out come piles of extremely unhealthy breakfasts covered in cigarette ash.

In goes a rubber sink plunger, a red mushroom with white spots, and a cube with a question mark on it.

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Out comes the vending machine itself as the old one collapses into a singularity and vanishes.

In goes an Internet of Things light bulb.

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Out comes DRM light fixtures for DRM houses that can only work with compatible products.

In goes a DRM fursuit.

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Out comes a DRM fursuit with what seems like a poor attempt at bypassing the DRM attempted on it by cutting circuit board traces.

In goes a fursuit with accidentally bricked firmware.

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Out comes a fursuit that's a literal brick.

In goes a box of black hair dye, two pots of Manic Panic, an Invader Zim tshirt, and an elderly Amish person.

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Out pops a Deviantart Sonic the Hedgehog OC *do not steal*

I shove in the complete works of Shakespeare and a freshly printed copy of My Immortal.

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Out comes a monkey and a typewriter

I insert a shovelful of dirt from my deceased grandma's grave

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Out comes a card with a huge red F on it.

In goes a tin of spinach and a bottle of olive oil.

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Out comes Popeye, with greasy hair.

In goes Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, a tuba, and 5 pounds of lard.

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Out comes next years weight-watchers program!

In goes an armed 7 Lb brick of C-4

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Out comes an awestruck Mythbuster, Jamie Hyneman

In goes a glass of distilled alcohol

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Out comes a glass of water with carbon dioxide bubbles stuck in it.

In goes a bowl of raw cookie dough. 

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Out comes a dead cookie monster, skinned, beheaded and ready for the oven.

In goes the entire moon.

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Out comes a green man yelling out SSSSMOKING

In goes the budget of this year

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Out come ten votes in the house of commons and a grinning DUP member.

In go all my JIRA bug reports.

 

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Out comes a white rabbit, the ace of spaces, two white doves and the flags of all nations on a very long string.

In goes a model aeroplane made of earwax.

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Out comes Forrest Gump.

In goes a Wonder Ball.
But inside the Wonder Ball, there are live spiders.

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Out comes a YouTube video with a clickbait title and lots and lots of fake screaming.

In go Bing, Yahoo and Google.

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Out comes a "Bahoogle."
...It's not even a search engine, just a generic piece of furniture with a weird foreign name.

In goes a candle that smells of bacon and engine grease.

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Out comes a tornado of sharks, fleeing the repellent that was put into the machine. A sharknado, if you will.

In goes one very angry honey badger.

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Out comes a very clean belch.

In goes a copy of Croesida Cowel's 'How to Train Your Dragon' book.

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Out comes a poorly trained and perhaps alcoholic dragon.

In goes 5.5 kilos of Thorium-232

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Out comes a complete run of Thor comic books, in mint condition.

In goes a watermelon, a skunk, and the ghost of Johnny Cash.

 

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Out comes a supersized person and super large McDonald's big mac.

 

In goes all of my old notes from previous math,physics, and engineering classes (I need to put them somewhere, I don't have room anymore).

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Out comes a giant letter F.

In goes the tip of a church steeple I 'accidentally' snapped off.

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Out comes the entirety of the juggalo collective wanting you to buy faygo and crash on your couch.

I put in myself, why not?

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