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I desperately wish I was straight


ysodelicious
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10 hours ago, ysodelicious said:

Only thing I'll construct is semen as I shame myself for cumming to male-on-male porn.

You ever think that might be why you hate being gay so much? An orgasm can be a powerful conditioning tool. If you shame your gayness when you cum it'll over time become an automatic response to gayness in general, because those kinds of thoughts are piggybacking on a huge endorphin rush. 

Edited by Bloodshot_Eyes
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13 hours ago, kizkool said:

It's me because they banned me for no reason.

famous last words, those are

6 hours ago, jcstinks said:

He kind of has a point, there. Have you seen gay people? It's like they've got a one-way ticket to bonetown.

can confirm, btw wanna go on a date later

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And trying to forcefully change your sexuality can actually do more harm to you mentally than good. Telling by your disposition now and history of self-loathing, it isn't a good idea at all. I may not find you favorable. but I do not want any harm to come to you, both in a physical sense and a mental one. You'll just have to learn to both accept and love yourself. It's hard, but it is worth it ES. 

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1 minute ago, Zeke said:

Snd trying to forcefully change your sexuality can actually do more harm to you mentally than good. Telling by your disposition now and history of self-loathing, it isn't a good idea at all. I may not find you favorable. but I do not want any harm to come to you, both in a physical sense and a mental one. You'll just have to learn to both accept and love yourself. It's hard, but it is worth it ES. 

Pretty much this.

If for whatever reason you need proof look at anyone whose ever been a victim of those terrible Christian summer camps meant to "pray the gay away." Spoilers: They end up in unhappy loveless marriages/relationships, lead overall miserable lives and end up hanging from a gas station bathroom.

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5 minutes ago, PastryOfApathy said:

Pretty much this.

If for whatever reason you need proof look at anyone whose ever been a victim of those terrible Christian summer camps meant to "pray the gay away." Spoilers: They end up in unhappy loveless marriages/relationships, lead overall miserable lives and end up hanging from a gas station bathroom.

And a higher potential of spousal abuse. Not everyone who goes through conversion therapy will become abusive, but it's there.

I've known a few people in high school that went through it and it made them from nice to worse. He was depressed all of the time, lashed out a lot at his peers and got into fights with both boys and girls, and the counsellors didn't know what to do except send him to a psychologist to put him on anti-depressants. He killed himself 2 months before graduation.

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3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

You need to pray harder.

And then proceed to stick your genitalia onto an anvil and straighten out the kinks with a ball peen hammer, measure it with a square ruler afterwards to see guaranteed results!

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15 hours ago, Barnectomy said:

It must be frustrating to be genuine yet considered a troll by everybody. I don't know if you're one of those, but I'm pretty sure they exist.

I am. People think I'm a troll but I'm not. It sucks. :(

14 hours ago, Luka said:

Alas, one does not simply rid oneself from the gay virus.

The government made sure.

Yeah, I fucking hate that. >.< They created AIDS to kill them off too.

14 hours ago, Harbinger said:

Probs cause if it was a serious post all he got was "Lol get gay faggot, homo's ftw".

He was probably after....

 

 

...straight answers.

And on a serious note, yell, nice shitposting yall, GG.

Yes but then again it's admittedly my fault for expecting there to be hetero males on here. While some hetero female furries exist, males usually know better than to hang around the gay ones.

13 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

So youre seriously just making these threads for people to agree with you about how much therapists suck, how mean and awful gays are, how stereotypical everything is, how ugly you are, how sexual the gays are, how much STDs they have, and how straight people are better?

thats kind of pointless and youre legitimately crazy and warped in the head if you think any of those thoughts of self loathing and apathy are normal and are attempting to find some safe space to cry about it and get people to understand how awful everything is

 

Yes, I know I'm mentally insane.

13 hours ago, Half-Note said:

I would look myself in the mirror, trying to convince myself to be straight. Then I settled on bi. Then I settled on full-on gay. Then I went back to saying that I'm bi. Sexcuality is a weird thing, but I think it's better to accept it, looking back.

Probably not the answer you're looking for, OP, but it's something to take a seat in your personal  think tank with.

Lucky! I wish I had bi-ness. I never did. Only homo-ism. And it fucking sucks. :(

13 hours ago, Half-Note said:

Okay, reading this after actually bothering to go in-depth beyond the first post, I'm just going to say fuck you to the OP. Why don't you make something of it instead of crying on a forum? If you have a therapist, you should be happy. No, not happy for your current life, but happy you can talk to a therapist to resolve your issues.

Fucking Hell, you have access to a therapist, a qualified therapist, and instead of following their advice and doing something to get better, you just sit back and complain? Ugh...

I DON'T HAVE A THERAPIST. I didn't have insurance anymore until this month. The first one I saw since then was yesterday, she was a crazy bitch and I'm not going back to her. I'll look for a new one but there's no guarentees.

13 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

This is pretty much the only thread/person I ever wanted to block in all my time here...and thats saying something 

Everyone gets a little down, self-degrading, and hopeless sometimes...but the last time I saw this level of hopelessness it frustrated me to no end. Especially when there's nothing I could do to help or change their mind, just, good lord! It just doesnt work to be nice to someone who's such an emotional leech it just doesnt have any effect. It's just legitimately self-abusive not to care that much.

Even Crystal didnt tick me off this much.

I'm not even a bad person.

13 hours ago, jcstinks said:

He kind of has a point, there. Have you seen gay people? It's like they've got a one-way ticket to bonetown.


Careful, now, this guy probably has legitimate mental illness. So don't a lot of people here. Emotional outbursts like this are par for the course for a lot of illnesses. We've already directed him somewhere else, and he has a current therapist, so the best thing we can do is just not encourage the behavior by paying attention to it.

There are people here I may 100% legitimately dislike, but I can't fault all of them if their issues aren't their fault. Mental illness is literally a disease. It's right there in the name! You might as well fault someone in a wheelchair for not putting in the effort to walk. It's not going to help anything.

EXACTLY. Thank you.

13 hours ago, LazerMaster5 said:

At least Crystal didn't go on long homophobic rants like that one crazy uncle we all have.

I'm not homophobic. I just believe in separate but equal.

12 hours ago, Mr. Fox said:

I blame all the added hormones in our food.

Same.

12 hours ago, Saxon said:

Well this bit certainly isn't true in my experience.  

Which part of it isn't true?

11 hours ago, AlexInsane said:

I'm convinced that dating is for masochists. It forces you to accept that, yes, you are a shallow person and yes, you're also not a complete moron. Everyone wants a mindreader for a partner - someone who knows the right thing to do at the right time in the right way. You want a million billion different things out of just one person and you end up settling for someone who maybe has...two. Of course you're not going to be happy with that. But you have to keep trying to find them. It's a lot like the lottery that way - you didn't succeed, here, put yourself on the line and try again. 

Straight people have it easier in society, but trust me, they're just as prone to make mistakes and be all kinds of degenerate and fucked up. Admittedly, you don't see that many straight porn actors with gaping anuses caused by trying to pleasure themselves with a cannon, but they still get into some fucked up shit. 

My list is 2 things, and I can't get either of them. Two very simple, common things.

10 hours ago, AlexInsane said:

I used to think I was a self-loathing gay until I read the OP. Now I know I'm a self-loathing gay, but a NICE one. 

You are most certainly not nice. I've seen your old posts on FAF. Everyone whined about how annoying they were and how bigoted and hateful you were.

6 hours ago, #00Buck said:

But doesn't slipping it in feel so good?

On top: No. Maybe the guys I did were really loose, but I felt nothing.

On bottom: No. Every homo and even some bi or straight dudes seem to love it, but it just hurts for me.

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51 minutes ago, Coll said:

Yes but then again it's admittedly my fault for expecting there to be hetero males on here. While some hetero female furries exist, males usually know better than to hang around the gay ones.

It's alright. you can curb the trolling a bit, it's getting a little loud.

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59 minutes ago, Joel said:

OP tumblr_inline_mnj91dZCAF1qz4rgp.gif

Tried that. More times than I can count. Still trying it and failing. Some of us were made to fail so others can feel better about themselves. It's my niche honestly.

11 minutes ago, MuttButt said:

kevin_hart_blink-1427745409.gif

I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just meant that if the LGBT crowd wants to break away from heteronormative society, they should have a country to themselves. And if cishets wants a cishet-only country, they should be free to do that too.

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You know, I sympathized with you on the first post, thought you were having serious issues by the time you replied to me the first time, and now I've completely written you off. If you're going to be a prick, please do it elsewhere. I don't even see why you would post such a thread when you know it'll just piss everyone off. After all, you clearly don't want help with all the hateful bigotry you're spouting, therefore alienating yourself from anyone who would even consider offering a hand.

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Just now, Barnectomy said:

Ooooh tell me more!

I've been around long enough to know that if you use the same identity across multiple forums someone like Eversleep can do a lot of damage. It's even worse if you're the con going type and people know you.

I'm just saying, that there are some seriously messed up folk in this culture and you want to give them as little leverage as possible.  

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1 hour ago, GamingGal said:

You know, I sympathized with you on the first post, thought you were having serious issues by the time you replied to me the first time, and now I've completely written you off. If you're going to be a prick, please do it elsewhere. I don't even see why you would post such a thread when you know it'll just piss everyone off. After all, you clearly don't want help with all the hateful bigotry you're spouting, therefore alienating yourself from anyone who would even consider offering a hand.

I'm not a prick. I'm an actual decent human being. I have flaws like everyone does. If people would actually get to know me, they'd see I'm a good person.

1 hour ago, Mr. Fox said:

I've been around long enough to know that if you use the same identity across multiple forums someone like Eversleep can do a lot of damage. It's even worse if you're the con going type and people know you.

I'm just saying, that there are some seriously messed up folk in this culture and you want to give them as little leverage as possible.  

I'm not a furry though.

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23 minutes ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

Decent human being-spouts vitriol about gay people, says ignorant shit and acts like a jackass to anyone that tries to prove them wrong...but wants people to try and get to know him

Don't judge a book by its cover or first chapter or random pages.

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I must ask you, ysodelicious, What did you think of the ending to the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Outcast?"  The conversion therapy you mentioned did exist for a species known as the J'naii. In fact, it was mandatory that everyone be the same. Everyone who went through it supposedly led happier and more fulfilling lives, but it also scared some people because of how different their personalities were.  I think that the best thing for you would be to watch this episode if you haven't, to gain some more perspective.  I do believe it will help you.

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Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

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10 hours ago, Coll said:

I am. People think I'm a troll but I'm not. It sucks. :(

Yes but then again it's admittedly my fault for expecting there to be hetero males on here. While some hetero female furries exist, males usually know better than to hang around the gay ones.

Harbinger, the guy you responded to, is a heterosexual male. GG. They exist and there are straight males on this forum that I could name, your generalizations are false.

 

making alt accounts is a bannable offense and maybe your original intentions was not to be a troll, but youre acting like one by breaking the rules and making inflammatory comments.

and now I have to keep blocking your new accounts. Stop. I dont want to keep seeing your comments and get mad  over it. 

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7 hours ago, Coll said:

Don't judge a book by its cover or first chapter or random pages.

First impressions mean everything.

nobody is going to care to get more in-depth when the books cover says "Gays are awful and I hate my life"...because all we can assume is its just going to be more if that on the inside. 

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21 minutes ago, LazerMaster5 said:

Gr8 b8, m8. I rel8, str8 appreci8, and congratul8. I r8 this b8 an 8/8. Plz no h8, I'm str8 ir8. Cr8 more, can't w8. We should convers8, I won't ber8, my number is 8888888, ask for N8. No calls l8 or out of st8. If on a d8, ask K8 to loc8. Even with a full pl8, I always have time to communic8 so don't hesit8. dont forget to medit8 and particip8 and masturb8 to allevi8 your ability to tabul8 the f8. We should meet up m8 and convers8 on how we can cre8 more gr8 b8, I'm sure everyone would appreci8, no h8. I don't mean to defl8 your hopes, but its hard to dict8 where the b8 will rel8 and we may end up with out being appreci8d, I'm sure you can rel8. We can cre8 b8 like alexander the gr8, stretch posts longer than the Nile's str8s. We'll be the captains of b8, 4chan our first m8s the growth r8 will spread to reddit and like real est8 and be a flow r8 of gr8 b8, like a blind d8 we'll coll8, meet me upst8 where we can convers8, or ice sk8 or lose w8 infl8 our hot air baloons and fly, tail g8. We could land in Kuw8, eat a soup pl8 followed by a dessert pl8 the payment r8 won't be too ir8 and hopefully our currency won't defl8. We'll head to the Israeli-St8, taker over like Herod the gr8 and b8 the jewish masses, 8 million, m8. We could interrel8 communism, thought it's past it's maturity d8, a department of st8, volunteer st8. reduce the infant mortality r8, all in the name of making gr8 b8 m8.

You're memeing so much your Autism is showing.  

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10 hours ago, 6tails said:

Hey, if he gets off on misery, I'll be glad to fuck him in the ass all he wants to make him feel like a dirty filthy homo and fill him with cum-splattered regret and shame for not being cishet. Shamefucks are great fucks!

Now that's customer service! 

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8 hours ago, Coll said:

I'm not a prick. I'm an actual decent human being. I have flaws like everyone does. If people would actually get to know me, they'd see I'm a good person.

Donald Trump says the same thing about himself being a decent human being. You know what? He is a gigantic prick. 

There's a difference between saying you are a good person vs. being a good person. A good person doesn't make homophobic statements, even if he is gay. It always came across to people that you do not want to be happy. You want a miserable existence and you want people to know you live in such a miserable existence. Even since FAF, that's the taste you left in most of the users' mouths. 

I don't know how far along you've changed, but I want to give you that chance. You have to make the change yourself instead of bitching about how people you look for in companionship never give you the time of day. Despite how good you look, you give people at aura of misery, and that's a big turn off. You can make the effort, but you are too lazy to do it. You also come off as entitled as well, which is the biggest turn of for any guy or girl. 

 

And before you say "Well, you don't know anything about me", boy I know more about you than I am comfortable with. I know your posting style, how you degrade yourself for attention, how neurotic you are, your posting style, etc. If you were a book, I've read you more times than I've read my favorites. You are predictable. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Skullmiser said:

I must ask you, ysodelicious, What did you think of the ending to the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "The Outcast?"  The conversion therapy you mentioned did exist for a species known as the J'naii. In fact, it was mandatory that everyone be the same. Everyone who went through it supposedly led happier and more fulfilling lives, but it also scared some people because of how different their personalities were.  I think that the best thing for you would be to watch this episode if you haven't, to gain some more perspective.  I do believe it will help you.

Hello mysterious new user who dispenses wisdom exclusively in the form of Star Trek anecdotes! Keep up the good work, and uhm... may the force be with you! Yeah. That sounds right.

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1 hour ago, Zeke said:

Donald Trump says the same thing about himself being a decent human being. You know what? He is a gigantic prick. 

There's a difference between saying you are a good person vs. being a good person. A good person doesn't make homophobic statements, even if he is gay. It always came across to people that you do not want to be happy. You want a miserable existence and you want people to know you live in such a miserable existence. Even since FAF, that's the taste you left in most of the users' mouths. 

I don't know how far along you've changed, but I want to give you that chance. You have to make the change yourself instead of bitching about how people you look for in companionship never give you the time of day. Despite how good you look, you give people at aura of misery, and that's a big turn off. You can make the effort, but you are too lazy to do it. You also come off as entitled as well, which is the biggest turn of for any guy or girl. 

 

And before you say "Well, you don't know anything about me", boy I know more about you than I am comfortable with. I know your posting style, how you degrade yourself for attention, how neurotic you are, your posting style, etc. If you were a book, I've read you more times than I've read my favorites. You are predictable.

I'm ugly as fuck though.

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7 minutes ago, mikels said:

Then why am I single? How come when I make a profile on a dating app, all I get is messages from wrinkly 50-year-old desperate pervs? Nobody wants me.

Because you love to wallow in your own shit so much that people can tell right off the bat. Also, if you make an effort to be self deprecating, people will not like you at all. 

Dating apps aren't the best to gauge if people like you since it's there for either an easy lay or a one-night-stand kind of deal...or 50 year old creepers looking for someone "young" looking. Perhaps you should just go out and socialize with people. Libraries are good, for starters. They have events and things that are free and have class participation. Even things such as playing chess or bringing a card game or two can help. 

 

exercise is good for depression and maladaptive thoughts. Take walks when you can. 

How you carry yourself and converse is also key. If you spill your guts to the first person you're interested in or look down all the time, you'll turn people off. And smile. Small smiles when talking. 

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12 minutes ago, Zeke said:

Because you love to wallow in your own shit so much that people can tell right off the bat. Also, if you make an effort to be self deprecating, people will not like you at all. 

Dating apps aren't the best to gauge if people like you since it's there for either an easy lay or a one-night-stand kind of deal...or 50 year old creepers looking for someone "young" looking. Perhaps you should just go out and socialize with people. Libraries are good, for starters. They have events and things that are free and have class participation. Even things such as playing chess or bringing a card game or two can help. 

 

exercise is good for depression and maladaptive thoughts. Take walks when you can. 

How you carry yourself and converse is also key. If you spill your guts to the first person you're interested in or look down all the time, you'll turn people off. And smile. Small smiles when talking. 

My smile is ugly. :(

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4 minutes ago, AlexInsane said:

Save your money so you can buy one of those silicone man torsos, complete with cock and balls.

It'll never call you ugly. Never mock you for not being straight enough. You can just punish it for hours on end. 

I don't want sex. I want an actual human being.

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