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How to deal with furfags


Mr.Kumquat
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So, now that Iv'e been trying to tell my friends that I like the furry ones, I have run into a problem. Many of them either don't understand, or they now think I'm some kind of gross person that wants to sex their pets. I tried to explain myself, but it got nowhere. Maybe I'm just unlucky enough to have befriended so many ass hats. What i want to know is how others have dealt with these problems, or if I need to find new friends. Just the fact that this is happening makes me question everything. I'm 28 years old and i thought my friends would be supportive. I hate to think they're just dicks that can't deal with ideas that are different from their own.

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You just have to let them get their stupid remarks out of the way and resume, deflecting just leads to tennis matches.  Of course if it's a common occurrence I'd use it as a means of seeing what they're truly like, i.e. closet twats... huh, coming out as a furry, best means of detecting trustworthiness xD

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6 minutes ago, Zytan said:

You just have to let them get their stupid remarks out of the way and resume, deflecting just leads to tennis matches.  Of course if it's a common occurrence I'd use it as a means of seeing what they're truly like, i.e. closet twats... huh, coming out as a furry, best means of detecting trustworthiness xD

I will say this much: it has showed me who my real friends are. Can't complain about that :D

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12 minutes ago, Chrysocyon said:

Eh, I just never explicitly tell people that I'm furry like it's a big thing.  They just gradually figure it out and either they think it's cool or just not really care.

Pretty much this, and that holds true for most subcultures and fandoms actually. The more of a big deal you make it and the more emphasis you put on it for your social identity, the quicker it's scrutinized. Also their reaction could possibly be them trying to rationalize a response in which they feel like they suddenly "don't know you," due to how furry is often reported and portrayed in media. They might feel you partaking in something they don't understand and they're scared of losing what they perceive was you when they first became your friends.

Or, they could simply be petty and narrow minded. Either way. shrug

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Maybe I'm overreacting. Come to think of it, the people I thought would be OK with it are OK with it. As for the rest: I will tell them to have sex with themselves. Still, this is a strange time for me. Never thought I would be evaluating my friendships based on things said in a forum. You furfags are alright in my book <3

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3 minutes ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

Maybe I'm overreacting. Come to think of it, the people I thought would be OK with it are OK with it. As for the rest: I will tell them to have sex with themselves. Still, this is a strange time for me. Never thought I would be evaluating my friendships based on things said in a forum. You furfags are alright in my book <3

Idk, you can't expect people to be chill about every lifestyle choice, interest, or decision you make. It's Planet Earth, people have different opinions...and when it comes to anything besides basic facts someone has just as much right to look down on your for your interests as you do to them. Otherwise you end up becoming a stupid SJW who thinks that anyone who doesn't celebrate your every word should be instantly and ruthlessly punished.

Edited by KryptoKroenen
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2 minutes ago, KryptoKroenen said:

Idk, you can't expect people to be chill about every lifestyle choice, interest, or decision you make. It's Planet Earth, people have different opinions...and when it comes to anything besides basic facts someone has just as much right to look down on your for your interests as you do to them. Otherwise you are just some stupid SJW who thinks that anyone who doesn't celebrate your every word should be instantly and ruthlessly punished.

I never expected to be celebrated or loved. Just some mutual respect would be nice.

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8 minutes ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

Maybe I'm overreacting. Come to think of it, the people I thought would be OK with it are OK with it. As for the rest: I will tell them to have sex with themselves. Still, this is a strange time for me. Never thought I would be evaluating my friendships based on things said in a forum. You furfags are alright in my book <3

You could also mention how the correlation between anthros and pets is much weaker than between humans and children I mean they're just different ages of the same species which is much more similar than anthros and pets. So if they say you want to fuck your pets because you like furries you could just respond how they want to fuck children cause they're attracted to adult humans.

Edited by AlastairSnowpaw
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2 minutes ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

I never expected to be celebrated or loved. Just some mutual respect would be nice.

I know that, but still. If you expect them to treat you like any other human being in most respects that's perfectly reasonable, but if you expect them to not think you weird or even mildly gross for being a furry than you are asking too much. Yeah, it'd be nice if normal people didn't view us that way, but they do, and with the continued existence of high-traffic websites like e621 that most furries visit on a regular basis, can you really blame them?

2 minutes ago, AlastairSnowpaw said:

You could also mention how the correlation between anthros and pets is much weaker than between humans and children I mean they're just different ages of the same species which is much more similar than anthros and pets. So if they say you want to fuck your pets because you like furries you could just respond how they want to fuck children cause they're attracted to adult humans.

The whole "fuck your pets" thing is stupid and has no basis in fact, not even as a stereotype. It's just as stupid as saying that most priests are child molesters. If you don't have statistics which prove that the majority of a group falls into a certain category than you can't make legitimate claims regarding the issue.

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1 minute ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

I guess the thing that confuses me the most is how telling my crazy catholic family that I'm an atheist went better than telling my friends I fap to different stuff than them. People are weird. 

That probably means that your friends are more doctrinal about sexual decency than your family is about their Catholicism. xD Speaking of which, how do you think your Catholic family would react if you told them what you fapped to? lulz

Edited by KryptoKroenen
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3 minutes ago, KryptoKroenen said:

That probably means that your friends are more doctrinal about sexual decency than your family is about their Catholicism. xD Speaking of which, how do you think your Catholic family would react if you told them what you fapped to? lulz

I would rather not go there. They already think I'm hell-bound :P

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1 minute ago, KryptoKroenen said:

So how did telling your family that you were an atheist go better than telling your friends you were a furry if your family thinks you are hellbound while your friends just think you are weird? xD

If I had to guess, my family thinks I will "get better", but they still treat me as family. However,  some of the people i told about my furriness just flat out won't talk to me anymore.

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There is only one friend of mine that I mess with involving furry jokes and shit, and that is because he is an absolute dork and knows just enough. I joke with him all the time. Otherwise I just sorta do my thing without causing a big ruckus. 

After all, it is only a big deal if you let it be.

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1 hour ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

I guess the thing that confuses me the most is how telling my crazy catholic family that I'm an atheist went better than telling my friends I fap to different stuff than them. People are weird. 

Well, there's the problem. Your friends don't need to know what you fap to. They probably shouldn't care, but that sort of thing is TMI for most people. It's one thing to say you think furries are hot, for instance (although you may not even want to go there depending on the situation), but it's quite another to go into detail about one's masturbation preferences. It's nobody else's business.

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11 hours ago, Mr.Kumquat said:

So, now that Iv'e been trying to tell my friends that I like the furry ones, I have run into a problem. Many of them either don't understand, or they now think I'm some kind of gross person that wants to sex their pets.

Generally, in my experience in the fandom, I've always found this question tends to crop up again and again. The trope pops up a lot over the years and it more often than not boils down to the way you talked to them about it. The trope of Furries being just animal fuckers can pretty easily be straw-manned through even the weakest lenses of rationale and maturity.

When people jump to conclusions, its typically when they aren't willing to listen to your input or in some cases, indulge in the hazardous crank magnetism that exists from today's internet culture through sites like 4chan. They could come to such enthymeme from a number of reasons. I know the most common form is from what they've read on the internet or through stories on the news. Many of these remarks are written to create the impression that the fandom is really more a fetish. After all, sex sells and gets attention. The remarks themselves are made from only listening to the vocal minority of the fandom, therefore assuming the entire fandom is like that. At the end of the day, it's probably just better off not letting what they say go to your head. Enthymeme is used to justify one's negetive opinion.

Perhaps reconsider the way you talk to them about it, if you are trying to explain to them why you are into it and apply the conversational formulas that you would to admitting guilt or coming out to a sexuality/gender, then people would start to think it is a similar thing, again jumping to conclusions. Because you explain to them in that way, when you talk to them more about the appeal (in the case of this fandom, anthropomorphic animal characters that talk etc.), they can come to this assumption by your tone and body language.

As long as you aren't bringing it up all the time, your friends are probably just poking fun over it. But I'm sure they don't mean it on purpose. However, if they are going to be using it as ammunition to dismiss what you say and shoot you down, you might be better off finding new friends.

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I dislike how we are sensationalist and only publish the stories that draws our interests. Whats an interesting story? How about a sex scandal that happens to involve furries? Ain't nobody time or willingness to read about our everyday activities that are related to furry fandom. Hence the saying bad of the crop stands out best

And that's why I think your "friends" can be judgemental. Their views are already biased which is likely not even their fault but media's and the people in the Internet in general. If you don't have a first hand experience about a certain thing, you believe what you hear and read about. 

That's why it should be taught in schools to learn to doubt everything and take things with criticism. 

Also, I wouldn't go advertising myself as a furry. It's a hobby and it's not necessarily anyone's business. If you want to be open about it, don't hide your furry related activity nor deny it. People see you as a weirdo if you intentionally make such a fuss about it, which further reinforces our already terrible stereotype. 

But if they won't understand, then consider finding new more open minded friends

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