Joel Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 This has happened to me on more than a few occasions mainly with with furries who are artist I talk to them for a couple weeks and they always end accusing me of having ulterior motives for being nice to them Has this happened to you and or do you have a distrust for people who are kind you and why do you think this happens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrysocyon Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 I've never had that happen to me, but I will admit I don't like people doing unsolicited favours for me as I feel like they're going to turn around and ask stuff back from me that I can't/don't want to give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Did It For The Cat Girls Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 (edited) Because many furry artists get solicited for free art by the seedier elements of this fandom on a nigh-constant basis. Normally, rosy flattery is the first tool that comes out of the bag when a person is gunning to obtain something free from someone. In actuality, those artists aren't exactly incorrect for harboring such feelings of paranoia when they're spontaneously approached by an unusually friendly furry. Free art isn't precisely free since the artist has to forfeit several hours (or days) to create a freebie. This is time that the artist could have used to make a proper sale, present a quality product, gain some publicity in the process through customer referrals, and have money to pay their bills and put food on their table. Most people are out for their own self-advancement in one way or another. Guarding yourself from getting caught up is a perfectly normal reaction and a skill that I implore everyone here on this forum to master. Edited February 14, 2016 by I Did It For The Cat Girls 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 2 hours ago, Sylver said: Yes, but granted I was trying to get something from them. It's something you want them to accuse you of, because then you can guilt trip them. While they are down you say some things and strengthen the relationship. A month or so passes and then you manipulate them into volunterring to give you free stuff. If someone is being nice to me for items then I'll take advantage of them and take them on a ride. Once you know their motive and they don't know yours, then you have the upper hand. You are very sociopathic in everything I read from you, Sylver. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinare Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 (edited) I've been on the side of "what do you want from me" because reasons. I have yet to have someone say that to me, but I also don't approach and then proceed to excessively chat up random strangers ever, which is what both friendly people and people who want to use other people do. Edited February 14, 2016 by Kinare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 I'm distrustful of everyone in general. When someone says something nice to me the first thing I think is that they either want something, they made the wrong idea of myself and see more in me than there actually is or they just want to toy around with me. When I first entered high school my classmates pretended to be my friends but they weren't: they always made fun of me, laughed at me, ridiculed me. They had their fun. My siblings would ask if they could borrow money from me and I always helped them, then I got fucking tired of those two shits ''forgetting'' they had a debt with me or in my brother's case refuse to give back what he owed altogether. I always fell to their sugar coated requests, their ''Pretty pleaaaase''s, longing as I was for my sister and brother's approval. This is what being kind gets you. People associate kindness with naivety, stupidity and this brought me to being taken advantage of multiple times because I always had faith that ''This time will be different''. I've been a fucking idiot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 (edited) It's the reverse with me. I'm not an artist but I frequently get people being really nice to me to try and get stuff from me. I pretend not to notice in order to be polite and keep things steady. But yeah if you got something people want they'll try to get it for free. Edited February 14, 2016 by #00Buck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggdodger Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Well, now I know what my problem is. Not going to stop me from being friendly, though. I am who I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yarra Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Joel is awesome, It's pretty easy to tell who's a charlatan. I can almost tell right away from the moment I meet them. Most of the new people I meet are through work so I can anticipate their angle. My circle of close friends is established and high quality so I don't have to deal with bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaraphayx Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 All human relationships are transactional. Or is your time worth nothing to you? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazooie Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 i have been accused of being "disgustingly cheerful", but i dont think anyone has actually questioned by motives for being friendly context is important? offering to go grab a coffee for a sleep deprived artist that has explicitly expressed a burning desire for caffeine is generally OK, but just walking up to someone and saying "do you want a coffee? are you sure? i don't mind buying you a coffee! really, it's no problem!" is kinda awkward alternatively you can just wander around with a 4-pack of timms and a sign that says "FREE COFFEE FOR SLEEPY ARTISTS" and waggle your eyebrows suggestively with a weird grin. that would be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 All I want is to make shitty art and have people request free shitty art. Maybe if I make obscene Commission prices I might get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half-Note Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 The times you see me acting nice is generally when you act respectable and nicely towards me. Now I've been accused of manipulating, and honestly, I've done it, but later I've realized... Why manipulate when you can take a more honest approach without consequence? So now I try to achieve and earn things on my own instead of leeching off of others. If you have something I desire, I'll ask for it. If I'm refused, no worries, I consider myself resourcable and capable enough to get it on my own or find a substitute. But all in all, I don't think people would be suspicious of people acting nicely towards them unless they have a history of past events that've gone badly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 For me if someone is nice to me and offers to get or do something for me I'll accept it because Im actually really appreciative of the gesture...and Id intend to be very wary not to take advantage even though it feels like I could. I dont think I often ask for things at all and much like half note says I do intend to get things on my own and not rely on others. If anything Im not nearly as nice as my friends have been to me. I dont even know what I could do to mutually benefit them as well half the time. Haha! But Id try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 2 hours ago, Zaraphayx said: All human relationships are transactional. Or is your time worth nothing to you? This is a cut-and-dry way to put it but this is true. All species-to-species interaction works in a symbiotic relationship of some type, when building friendships or peer relationships you do want one of mutual benefit, or at the very least a commensal one. By definition a parasitic relationship where someone detracts from your life and is gaining more while you lose more is harmful and should be avoided. It does sound selfish in a way, but nature is selfish, and we interact with one another to survive. It's all about how you perform such action and what your main intention is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caledonian Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 I don't think my art is good enough for anyone to want. Or anything from me really, what is there to earn with trying to befriend me? I don't understand you people that are nice to me. Why do you do this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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