#00Buck Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Something I hear frequently when I attend parties is criticism of my behaviour. There is one person who I see when I'm at parties downtown who always joins in the conversation with me. Inevitably I'll say something that people don't like and he'll chime in saying "you're a monster!" He's sort of joking when he says it but he also clearly disapproves of whatever words just exited my mouth. Now other people don't call me a "monster" but I have been called inappropriate, rude, vulgar, gross, terrible, and a variety of other words. I was at a party recently where I was introduced to some people I had not met before. One of them seemed very flamboyant and I immediately accused him of being a gay Jewish serial killer. We all then agreed that the Jews need their own version of Krampus the Christmas Monster because Chanukah needs to be spiced up a bit. So we decided to make up a monster which had serial killer tendencies and killed people based upon the various Jewish holidays. In the end it became an idea for a comic book. After he left everyone said they'd suspected him of being a closeted homosexual for years but they could never tell and were too shy to ask. With a little charm and some playful banter he outed himself to me in a coy and playful way. Having answered a question that everyone had puzzled over for years the entire group felt quite satisfied. Then a bunch of other people showed up and started talking about things like work, the weather, and traffic. Alas there is only so much of me to go around and people remarked when the party was winding down that the best part was when I was talking talking to everyone about the Gay Jewish Krampus and generally spewing my conversational filth all over the place. When the big crowd showed up it got... Boring. Whenever I leave a party I'm always very sure that I'll never be invited back again. I always apologize as I'm leaving. Especially if I've taken the care to leave the car at home so I can be on my worst possible behaviour. Arriving with a very expensive bottle of single malt scotch that I know people will not be able to say no to. I'm always the first to arrive so I can stare into their eyes and ask them inappropriate questions. I encourage people to stay out later and drink more than they should, I eat all the snacks leaving none for the next person, I play board games and intentionally play to lose while doing things that cause other people to also lose. I shamelessly flirt with any female that comes near me even in front of their boyfriends and husbands. I forget people's names and just call them "that guy" and "whats her face" while dumping on whatever hick town they grew up in and whatever kind of music they listen to and yet somehow I'm always enthusiastically invited back. Sometimes I'm shocked to find myself invited to a small party and I'm one of a handful of guests. The funny thing is I do sometimes feel like a monster. I know that what I say is inappropriate but it just spews out of me. I also think that even though I'm in a room full of people I still feel alone. I never make time to go to parties. When I get invited I'm always surprised to be invited and I don't really want to go. Then I end up going and having far more fun than I thought I would. Maybe I say all that stuff just to keep from talking about other things. I really can't stand talking about the weather and work and traffic. Still maybe I run my mouth and talk about inappropriate crap because if I didn't I'd end up talking about things that really make people uncomfortable. You know. Real things. Feelings. Experiences. The life you could have lived but failed to achieve. The people you loved that didn't deserve it. The people who loved you and who you pushed away for no good reason. I think not so deep down inside I'm a lonely person. I've got a lot of stuff inside to talk about and nobody to tell it to. So I let the stream of consciousness run wild because it prevents the other stuff from getting out. People don't want real conversation at a party. So I never REALLY talk to anyone. I've always found the most interesting part of a conversation is the things people don't say. I often wonder what people think about what I'm not saying. Blah... Blah... Blah... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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