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Rant: Customer service


DevilBear
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If you've ever worked customer service my heart goes out to you.

Seriously. I've been doing this shit for a year now and I absolutely hate humanity. Those of you who have been doing it as a career? Are you fucking mentally stable? 

I want to stab half the mother fuckers I deal with on a daily basis. Today I had to take shots of tequila on my lunch break to prevent causing an international incident.

On the plus side, I am very nice to people who work customer service now. Please, be nice to each other.

The guy that made your coffee fuck up? Shit happens. You have an issue with your whatever bill? The person on the end of the phone didn't personally fuck your shit up. Fucking relax.  

Also. Topic 666. Hail Satan.

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44 minutes ago, DevilBear said:

If you've ever worked customer service my heart goes out to you.

Seriously. I've been doing this shit for a year now and I absolutely hate humanity. Those of you who have been doing it as a career? Are you fucking mentally stable? 

I want to stab half the mother fuckers I deal with on a daily basis. Today I had to take shots of tequila on my lunch break to prevent causing an international incident.

On the plus side, I am very nice to people who work customer service now. Please, be nice to each other.

The guy that made your coffee fuck up? Shit happens. You have an issue with your whatever bill? The person on the end of the phone didn't personally fuck your shit up. Fucking relax.  

Also. Topic 666. Hail Satan.

It's been so many years.

Send help.

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The worst people to deal with are the ones who expect special treatment for being "such a loyal customer."

Motherfucker, I don't make the rules. I don't set the prices. I just work here. No I am not going to give you something for free. No you cannot haggle the price of something that clearly says the price on the tag. This isn't a fucking used futon.

And the fat, entitled, disgusting, stinking-to-high-heaven white trash pieces of shit that came in and demanded to be waited on hand and foot? These mother fuckers roll in, in their god damn minivan, all 700 lbs between the two of them, and have the gall to bitch about having to wait for 20 minutes while other people are helped? My fucking god. Die of heart attacks you fucking land whales. The fact that someone stuck their dick inside you long enough for you to ferment that little mongoloid fills me with the greatest, most unimaginable despair for the future of civilization.

School starts soon. After that I will be back in my real career. If I ever work on this side of a counter again, it will be too soon.

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My biggest pet peeve when I work customer service is entitled-ass veterans.

No you are not obligated to receive a veterans discount.

No I cannot give one to you anyways.

No just because you're a veteran does not mean you get to steal someone's seat they reserved like a week ago.

Yes I hate America and our troops, bye bye.

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My sister is a manager at Gamestop and I get to hear some of the best of the best retail stories.

>nerds come into store just to give dorky pick up lines

>Mother leaves 3 children in store to just do whatever while she shops next door

>"Do you even play video games???" -proceeds to quiz her on obscure Final Fantasy 7 trivia-

One time I was hanging out in the store waiting for her to get off and some corpulent neckbeard literally said "thank you m'dear" and tipped his fedora on his way out the door.

Just this morning I got to hear about some dork going into a rant about how Overwatch on consoles was Blizzard betraying the PC master race and pandering to console scrubs.

All of this is hilarious only because it's not my job. :^)

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When I worked I fast food I had to deal with people complaining that their food was wrong. Yeah, it's going to be wrong if you can't tell us what you want left off of it. We haven't advanced enough to read minds yet. And then there's the people who order $50 of food in the drive thru during lunch hour( Which we are supposed to get every order out in under fifty seconds) and then they complain when we don't have it out right when they get to the window.

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The sad part is that customer service is a necessary aspect of most jobs. Unless you're a lighthouse operator or something, there's no escape. You will have to deal with customers, users, bosses etc. The trick is to find work in a field where most of your customers are reasonable.

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15 hours ago, DevilBear said:

And the fat, entitled, disgusting, stinking-to-high-heaven white trash pieces of shit that came in and demanded to be waited on hand and foot? These mother fuckers roll in, in their god damn minivan, all 700 lbs between the two of them, and have the gall to bitch about having to wait for 20 minutes while other people are helped? My fucking god. Die of heart attacks you fucking land whales. The fact that someone stuck their dick inside you long enough for you to ferment that little mongoloid fills me with the greatest, most unimaginable despair for the future of civilization.

Literally. Fucking. This.

I was the only person working the customer service desk one weekend, and it was unbelievably busy - and it just so happened every customer's problem took ages to sort out. As I walk from one side of the desk to a nearby phone to make a store announcement, some guy from the other side of the desks grabs my attention and starts asking me simple questions like 'oh where can I find this?' So I answer them, because it takes 0.0003 seconds for me to answer and for him to go away and not have to wait in line. Then this fat white trash fucker in line kicks off, spouting shit like 'oh do we not need to wait in line any more if you're just gonna serve other people?'

And I said 'he asked me like two questions and I answered them. I'll be with you shortly.' So he swears or something and walks off, and get this, He's friends with one of my fucking managers. Not a friendly and competent manager, no, the shit one. The one who only cares if his department succeeds and hardly ever lifts a finger for the other departments (including mine.) This increases Mr. White Trash's entitlement level by 999999% it seems, as he has the fucking audacity to be sarcastic with me when it comes to me serving him.

Believe it or not, such as thing as safety standards exist so we need to actually take people's details and get them to sign contracts before we go handing out bottles of butane or propane or whatever to them. So as I'm getting all of these details from him (which took forever because he was questioning why I was asking these questions) he starts to get all funny with me. We have to fill out on the form what the gas is going to be used for, and because they 5 million people in front of him used the gas for a barbecue I ask him 'okay so is the gas gonna be used in a barbecue?' and he says 'well, obviously seeing as I just bought a fucking barbecue!'

How the fuck was I supposed to know that you fucking fat, inbred piece of shit? He didn't bring his barbecue with him in the line, he never mentioned a barbecue at all when I was dealing with him. Does he have his head so far up his ass he expects his servers to be psychic now?

When the guy finally goes, he still pissed me off because he literally forgot his gas. He just left it on the counter, so clearly his waiting in line wasn't that important, even though he was consistently kicking off about it.

The other guy who came along to help cover the customer service desk eventually catches the manager he was talking to and he said 'to be fair mate, that guy who Josh served was really rude.'

Manager says 'I don't give a fuck mate.'

 

Brilliant. This shit happens daily when I'm there.

I cannot. Fucking. Wait. Until I quit that piece of shit place and don't have to work in that fucking field any more. Roll on September.

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I've been doing it for 8 years now, I lost all my emotions. Working in customer service is great, make you more tolerant to people in real life and your people skill also improves

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16 minutes ago, Muln said:

I've been doing it for 8 years now, I lost all my emotions. Working in customer service is great, make you more tolerant to people in real life and your people skill also improves

 I think everyone should work in retail/customer service at some point in their life.

Maybe that way they'll learn decent manners and basic fucking empathy.

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haven't done customer service specifically, but retail.  dealing with customers is honestly my favorite part.  it's the shitty attitudes of coworkers and managers that gets to me :S  and unlike most of the customers, they're there every day. 

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1 hour ago, Wax said:

 I think everyone should work in retail/customer service at some point in their life.

Maybe that way they'll learn decent manners and basic fucking empathy.

I work in a deli dept that's situated between a rich retirement community of entitled white people and the not-so-rich ghettos outside of the local city.

Every day I cherish my friends more, and have come to hate people more. The only people I'm nice to anymore are retail/customer service workers, I hate everyone else and just want them to die. So much. ;-;

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Maybe I just havent been on long enough but I dont find it a big deal.

 

Mostly because

A) People are people. You have to be calm and appreciate them and sometimes understand where theyre coming from. Getting angry back never helps

B) doesnt matter where I work any job deals with people, so you have to know how to handle these situations

C) I dont want to be that glassy-eyed, jaded, minimum wage worker who looks jaded with life and couldnt give two shits about anyone. 

I like money. But I like liking what Im doing more. So I make a habit of embracing and being entertained and motivated at work with the subtlest of good small details and tasks

 

 

And hey, I have some faith in humanity

 

...yesterday a customer bought peanut butter M&M's and just GAVE it to me. For absolutely no reason. It was a really sweet gesture.

Maybe this is just because I got lucky to be hired by a well-kept retail store with good coworkers and clientele. Things are mostly pretty much civil here 

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Ha. I finally told a customer off.

Said customer is always a rotten cunt to anyone and everyone when she comes in (including other customers) yet she keeps coming back for some reason and specifically asks for me to cut her hair. So par for the course, after I cut her hair I show her the back, I get the usual response, "The back looks decent but the front looks like *screams* fucking shit! *drops hand mirror on the floor*" (yet she keeps coming back). So finally, in a calm ASMR like voice I told her "well you may not like the front as much cause that's actually the side your face is on."

Best feeling ever.

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6 hours ago, Wax said:

 I think everyone should work in retail/customer service at some point in their life.

Maybe that way they'll learn decent manners and basic fucking empathy.

I was already polite to retail/customer service people before doing any myself. I think I've only told off two through e-mail because they were so dumb (one of them sent me a template response without even changing the template fields. I shit you not). I knew it had to be a tough job even before I had any bit of exposure to it.

I've only had to do light customer service stuff while on the floor for a few months. I got the occasional rude person, but I felt bad for the workers that had to handle refunds and rain checks. There were a few instances I've witnessed, like when some bulky guy came in wanting to return something that was opened but didn't have a receipt for it. After being told he needed the receipt, he angrily grabbed the box off of the counter and stormed off out the door like he was roid raging.

Another instance involved an old woman (they're the worst) who came in during one of the big yearly sales (also the worst) and she asked the workers around the customer service area, including a manager, if there was any of the discounted soup left. The manager told her she wasn't sure, but whatever is left would be located in the aisle that she pointed to. I guess that wasn't good enough. She burst out with "UGH doesn't anyone know anything in this damn store?! This is pathetic!" and just rambled on while the manager rolled her eyes and kept repeating "Yep. Sorry about that." I just was shocked that someone would get so upset over employees not instantly knowing the stock of everything in the store.

12 hours ago, Zaraphayx said:

One time I was hanging out in the store waiting for her to get off and some corpulent neckbeard literally said "thank you m'dear" and tipped his fedora on his way out the door.

Goddamn that's just terrible. I'm not even sure how I'd react to that.

 

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I"ve never had to work a full-blown customer service job, but I had one gig paying bills and would get calls from customers about that on a regular occasion.

It was almost never pretty. Mix late checks with faceless interaction and bitter old people who want their money NOW and goddamn. Boss's rule was "you can't say 'fuck off' until the phone is hung up."

That was a hard rule to not break some days.

Heart goes out ot anyone who has to deal with that shit face-to-face and on an minute-to-minute basis.

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Working in Catering has taught me that people suck. Although I never took my bad days out on people behind counters, I always make that effort to smile and to say "Please, thank you" to anyone who serves me in stores/cafes. For all you know you could be the first and only person to smile at them that day.

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11 hours ago, WolfNightV4X1 said:

A) People are people. You have to be calm and appreciate them and sometimes understand where theyre coming from. Getting angry back never helps

B) doesnt matter where I work any job deals with people, so you have to know how to handle these situations

C) I dont want to be that glassy-eyed, jaded, minimum wage worker who looks jaded with life and couldnt give two shits about anyone. 

I get where you're coming from, but having to deal with shitty customers on a daily basis means I can understand where these workers are coming from too.

There's this one woman who works at my local KFC - she's working whenever I go in there, and you can tell from her personality and approach to customers that she just does not give a fuck anymore. If you give her shit, she won't take it. I mean yeah she should lighten up a little, but this KFC is in the roughest part of my town, and the *ahem* clientele are complete assholes/chavs/white trash, so working full time at a gig like that means I can understand if she gets pissed off easily.

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3 hours ago, Wax said:

I get where you're coming from, but having to deal with shitty customers on a daily basis means I can understand where these workers are coming from too.

Yeah, I know

 

...but at least for me I never wanted to be that person. Perhaps I'll get a new job someday that doesnt wipe my soul out slowly.

 

It helps that its not in a bad part of town, either.

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A few weeks back my coworker made some subs for this guy and marked them his and hers. Anyways, I guess they were marked backwards and so the guy and his wife just toss them out after taking a bite. He calls and my coworker offers to remake them for free and he gets all mad and hangs up. He calls again so I answer (so she doesn't cuss him out) and he demands us to uncharge his card and I tell him he has to take that up with his bank and/or our manager. He then tells me that Jack-in-the-Box, TacoBell, Mcdonalds and us get his order wrong on purpose and pre plan it. He hung up and said he was going go call corporate and and say we were shady and trying to kill his wife because she can't take her meds without eating. Why couldn't they just swap subs when they realized they were just labeled wrong?! You can't get an order wrong here because the customer is watching constantly. If there is a mistake it is corrected asap. Yeesh.

The biggest thing that bugs me is people asking for the carved turkey and then getting upset when I don't throw on bacon and demanding I don't add bacon when they order the carved turkey bacon. They are two different subs and both of them are right on the menu! Also this, "do you want the turkey breast or carved turkey?" "Turkey." D:<

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I started at my work in October 2014, and have only ever taken one week of my earned holiday time. I'm handing in my notice at the end of July, which means I have a lot of holiday time left to book.

Ya boi just booked off the entire month of August, which means after I hand in my notice, I only have to work one week. One. Fucking. Week!!!!

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8 hours ago, Wax said:

I started at my work in October 2014, and have only ever taken one week of my earned holiday time. I'm handing in my notice at the end of July, which means I have a lot of holiday time left to book.

Ya boi just booked off the entire month of August, which means after I hand in my notice, I only have to work one week. One. Fucking. Week!!!!

I wanted to take this moment to express my envy that you actually get holiday time.

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6 hours ago, Clove Darkwave said:

I wanted to take this moment to express my envy that you actually get holiday time.

It's incredibly hard to get though. If one other person on my department has holiday booked for a certain week - nobody else is allowed it - no exceptions. I pretty much had to beg and plead with my supervisor to grant me the weeks I wanted, even though someone else already had them off.

But the fact I get holiday time is certainly a benefit

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My favorite thing ever-

The other day, a very angry (and stupid, as he was completely wrong) customer called and demanded he speak to me. My coworker, being the upstanding fellow he is, informed this individual I was currently busy.

This particular individual could not remember my name. He referred to me as "the short chubby bastard always bouncing around the God damn place." I'm 5' 11" but whatever. My coworker handed the phone off to our manager.

He then informed my manager that I insinuated he was a drug dealer before he left, then told him he was calling "corporate."

Like... what?

That's my favorite like to hear. "I'm calling corporate."

The moment you use this line, expect whoever you're dealing with to immediately stop caring.

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I don't work customer service but I do interact with customers

my faves are the ones who get snotty with you when you can't give them a price up front that literally requires you to see the problem beforehand

its like you bring your dog into vets for puking

they say how much it cost to fix??

so you say "well we have to see the dog, maybe he ate something bad and needs pills ($30), maybe he has parvo, maybe he is on deaths door and needs surgery ($500)" like we aren't fucking psychic come on

and they'll get fucking mad at you for not being able to tell you how much it could cost 

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Ha, another incident at work today.

Some dumb bitch named Mary Yam called back to complain about a haircut she got six months ago (She wanted her money back..She's basically trying to steal a service in a sense). So my boss picks up and explains "if you had time to go to the bathroom, you had time to call back about your hair (within the week)".

Anyway, this psycho bitch just kept going off on my boss. Finally my boss hands me the phone and lets me take over. The lady, already fired up, is yelling at me and she says "I want to talk to corporate! I want to talk to corporate!". So I say "Ok, I'll put you through to corporate." I put her on hold for one second and pick the phone back up and went "Corporate, how may I help you?". She immediately hung up and did not call back at all for the rest of the day.

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24 minutes ago, DevilBear said:

^^^^ see? "I'm calling corporate" is my absolute favorite. Fucking jackoffs. 

Next time someone says that I may just do what you did. Good job!

One of the many beautiful things about working for small business.

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2 minutes ago, 6tails said:

Until you tire of 18-year olds coming in asking the most stupid fucking questions, such as "Can I get my girl pregnant if she swallows from a blowjob?"

You will suddenly learn how stupid the general populace truly is, and wonder how they ever managed to graduate high school OR obtain a GED.

That would be the best past of the job, fucking with said dumb 18 yr olds.

"Oh shit..she swallowed? Gotta get that bitch a preg test. Make sure, cause she swallowed she uses the preg test orally,  like a thermometer." Etc etc.

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1 hour ago, 6tails said:

Not allowed. You're required to keep a straight face and be professional. Excepting the drunk assholes that come in, or those that come in with a serious attitude problem. Those we're free to fuck with, and we do! Come in making threats? We've got a steel rebar piece inside the biggest Doc Johnson dildo made behind the counter. We have used it. Nobody robs us because they're scared of getting even remotely touched by a giant dong. Effective rumor!

That was the most beautiful thing I have read this morning.

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11 hours ago, 6tails said:

Not allowed. You're required to keep a straight face and be professional. Excepting the drunk assholes that come in, or those that come in with a serious attitude problem. Those we're free to fuck with, and we do! Come in making threats? We've got a steel rebar piece inside the biggest Doc Johnson dildo made behind the counter. We have used it. Nobody robs us because they're scared of getting even remotely touched by a giant dong. Effective rumor!

Oh my god. Amazing comment. Someone could probably use bolded out of context in their signature though xD

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I worked in tech support helping the reps and getting people off the phones with ridiculous requests who wouldn't hang up. We weren't allowed to hang up on them, and it took me an average of about five minutes to troll them enough (in a professional way) to hang up on me x3

I didn't mind it.

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