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Going to the bar ain't what it used to be


Red Lion
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My friend got off work early so I went out kinda late to hang out at a local bar with him and his gf and they brought this girl I kinda knew but don't talk to. So I was going to just hang back and nurse my one alcoholic drink (due to past alcohol problems I have a very strict limit of 1 drink per outing. Sometimes that kinda sucks but I gotta stay sober >:P). My plans to keep to myself were foiled when the girl sat next to me and started talking. We didn't have much to talk about, she likes anime, doesn't go out a lot and considers herself a feminist. She started droning on about all the ways women have it worse than men and I kept tuning out and after awhile she got kind of mad and quit talking to me. I didn't even have the interest to care. She huffed at me and said that my lack of interest was offensive. She spent the rest of the night talking to my friend's gf and honestly I only felt relieved that she wasn't bothering me. My friend came and sat next to me and unloaded some personal baggage about his relationship. It's the same thing he's been talking about for years and he's never taken my advice but he keeps coming back and telling me about his woes anyway. I guess that's partly my fault since I just keep listening and giving him the advice. 11 o'clock rolled around and my drink was empty the girl came back to try and talk to me again, this time to complain about what a rotten time she was having. She felt like no one really wanted her there, which may have been true, at least on my part, but we tried to assure her that she was fine. Being that it is a weeknight the bar was almost empty and I started feeling restless. I remember evenings like this used to be fun, we'd go out, me, my friend and his gf, we'd eat something, play pool and just talk animatedly about anything and everything then we'd go out and wander around all night. Good times.  

Today felt hollow and it's not the first time. Now that there are things like jobs, relationships and even just the errands we have to run everyday to  keep our lives functional we're tired, we don't actually have much time to spare and "wild nights" at the bar have turned into three tired people hanging around a dank little bar because that's what we've been doing since we met years ago.  Sometimes we'll joke about picking up some hot stranger but even though I'm in an open relationship and allowed to do that I just don't have the interest. Hooking up, alcohol, staying up all night, none of it is exciting anymore. The novelty has worn off. Going out every weekend just seems tiring these days. 

You know what I DO like? Vacations, going on a trip for a week every rare once in awhile. Heading to the beach or to the mountains or to Europe is exciting while also being leisurely and relaxing. Wearing myself out trying to keep doing the things I did back when I was a fresh new college student just saps what little energy I have left at the end of the day. I think it's time to slow down. I plan to move at some point and honestly I'm feeling more and more ready to have a nice, quiet, domestic life with a house and a dog/cat. Maybe gator and I will even start a family once we've settled down for good. Heck I'm ready to get fucking married to my partner, commitment used to scare the shit out of me but now I actively want it. I think I may have leveled up to my next stage of adulthood.

I guess this was my last frequent trip to the bar. I'll kinda miss it but it's just not a good fit anymore. I always think when I hit a transition period in my life that I'll have a hard time giving things up, but that's almost never the case. The more my life transitions from one phase to the next the easier it is to move forward and accept that everything changes but that's ok because I change too. 

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God I hate being an adult sometimes.

I miss doing the bar thing too, but I also know that it'll never be the same now as it was when I was 22. I feel like the older I get, the less interesting I become and the less I have to say about stuff. People are moving forward, getting houses and having kids, and I'm roomin' with two bachelors in a place that's almost never as clean as I want it to be.

Not that I have anyone to go bar hopping with anymore.

Shit's fucked man.

That girl you were with sounds super fucking annoying, but you know you're in for a rough time when the first thing is, "I LIKE ANIME!" Shit, I'll agree with most of the feminist stuff, but I also don't want to talk about it.

I guess I don't have anything to say to you other than to furiously nod. Plus all the vomit up above htis paragraph, but tha'ts just thinking out loud.

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You're getting old. I'm sure everyone goes through this at one point or another. I know I am.

Drinking with friends is certainly more fun without legbearded feminist spergs annoying you. I'm sure the same goes for loveshy neckbeards. I respect your willpower, in that situation I would've drank myself under the table.

Cheers!

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4 minutes ago, Conker said:

God I hate being an adult sometimes.

I miss doing the bar thing too, but I also know that it'll never be the same now as it was when I was 22. I feel like the older I get, the less interesting I become and the less I have to say about stuff. People are moving forward, getting houses and having kids, and I'm roomin' with two bachelors in a place that's almost never as clean as I want it to be.

Not that I have anyone to go bar hopping with anymore.

Shit's fucked man.

That girl you were with sounds super fucking annoying, but you know you're in for a rough time when the first thing is, "I LIKE ANIME!" Shit, I'll agree with most of the feminist stuff, but I also don't want to talk about it.

I guess I don't have anything to say to you other than to furiously nod. Plus all the vomit up above htis paragraph, but tha'ts just thinking out loud.

I feel that way too sometimes. I still get fired up about topics of interest but I run out of steam fast and I don't feel like I say much of anything people would want to hear. 

The thing that makes the girl particularly annoying is her age, she's four years older than me but she sounds like a teenager when she talks and it's a little creepy that she finds 16 year old anime guys hot. If she was like 16 I'd have just written it off and assumed she'll grow out of it in 5-10 years. 

@Hux  I'm too young to be old. D:< 

you probably right though.....

also I'm a recovered alcoholic so I'm technically not supposed to drink at all, 

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7 hours ago, PastryOfApathy said:

lol what a normie

Going out and socializing with friends n' shit! Ha ha ha...ha....h...

im so lonely...

The gay dick forums suck. 

I just want friends. 

This is all your fault! 

I hate you all!

9 hours ago, Red Lion said:

she likes anime, doesn't go out a lot and considers herself a feminist. She started droning on about all the ways women have it worse than men and I kept tuning out and after awhile she got kind of mad and quit talking to me. My friend came and sat next to me and unloaded some personal baggage about his relationship. It's the same thing he's been talking about for years and he's never taken my advice but he keeps coming back and telling me about his woes anyway. I guess that's partly my fault since I just keep listening and giving him the advice. She felt like no one really wanted her there, which may have been true, at least on my part, but we tried to assure her that she was fine.

Your so called friends are awful people. 

If you went to a bar or any other place with fun people you would have a good time. Get new friends. 

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A few years ago I had a friend (now ex guy-thing) who would insist I came on bar crawls with him. It would just be the 2 of us for the most part, but it was so much fun when we'd go to empty bar after empty bar, talk with complete strangers and the conversation would get better and better the more drunk we got. And he was pretty funny when he was drunk so it only got better.

Things really aren't the same nowadays. Different people and all - I go drinking mainly with my best friend, and if they're free, some of her friends. She likes to go clubbing more than do bar crawls, and I NEVER have a good time clubbing. I have to be EXACTLY the right amount of drunk and I can never seem to find the balance any more (especially since I started wearing wigs and if I get too drunk the heat makes me pass out). She doesn't do the bar crawl thing as much as I like to because large amounts of people being there makes her a little nervous, so we usually end up just going straight to the clubs.

And this is on the occasions where she CAN go out for the night because she has a 5 year-old and has to wait until she's kid-free for the weekend. Getting old and having responsibilities is kind of frightening.

It makes me wonder if I was there, as the person I am now, with that ex of mine, doing the bar crawls again, would it be the same? I like to think it would, but there's really no way to test that.

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Same here fam. The only time I visit bars these days is when I'm on vacation, but mostly because we're more interested in playing darts or pool. Every once in a while, the bar at my usual vacay spot will have some decent (with enough booze) music acts show up to entertain you for a goos hour or two. But I just don't see the point sometimes, especially when what you can get at the bar is double the price it costs to drink at home. Not to mention the ever lovely "who's gonna be sober enough to drive" discussion.

 

But I want to say, bars these days seem to be for all them hip new fangled kids trying to be cool and really really old farts and depressed people. Couple that with having a full time job and the bar turns into "Do I really want to waste what little time I have on this?". 

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I don't miss the bars, but I sometimes miss the clubs. At least as an option. Especially the ones in NYC. Not that clubbing was a regular thing for me, but fun times were had. Music + friends + girls = win. I still check out friends' bands from time to time, and would go to a rave or dance with others around my age, but my lifestyle is different these days. I've grown older, even if I don't feel like it.  Just other priorities these days. I was always more of any introvert anyway, so I rather enjoy staying home and reading on a Friday night, but that's one less way for me to get out there and meet people. Oh well, it is what it is.

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3 hours ago, Toshabi said:

Same here fam. The only time I visit bars these days is when I'm on vacation, but mostly because we're more interested in playing darts or pool. Every once in a while, the bar at my usual vacay spot will have some decent (with enough booze) music acts show up to entertain you for a goos hour or two. But I just don't see the point sometimes, especially when what you can get at the bar is double the price it costs to drink at home. Not to mention the ever lovely "who's gonna be sober enough to drive" discussion.

 

But I want to say, bars these days seem to be for all them hip new fangled kids trying to be cool and really really old farts and depressed people. Couple that with having a full time job and the bar turns into "Do I really want to waste what little time I have on this?". 

The local bands here generally suck. Mostly they're cover bands and if you're lucky they'll play something other than country music. I usually just went to the bar to hang out with my friends, though yeah, I noticed lately the only people who go there are dumb hipster kids or old folks. Somehow this little hick town in rural NC has a lot of "progressive" tumblr types who frequent the bars too, sometimes people like to pass out fliers and soapbox about the latest socio-economic inequalities. 

This town is trying to be a mini-Asheville  but it's way to full of old people, meth labs and poverty to achieve more than weaksauce events held by pretentious college kids who think they're more controversial and important than they are

Just now, Butters said:

If you made new friends, you'd find that you'd have different experiences. That's how you get out of your rut. 

That'll be 5 cents pls. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, they're good friends who do a lot for me if I really need them to. I'll be happy to get out of this rotten little town, everything is kind of just dying around here. The first bar my friends and I used to frequent closed about a year ago and other businesses have shut down, it gets worse every year. 

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Bars were never fun. The only exception was when I was a bouncer at this Korean karaoke bar, and all my drinks were free. The lady used to run a couple of "hostesses" out of there, and the cover was private "karaoke" rooms. I caught hella people fucking. Plus I got paid to occasionally rough people up, most of which were local rappers who were  whack as fuck and took people's booing too personal 

My advice to you is to gtfo that town. The old days are never coming back, and unless you are literally unable to live without your family near you, there doesn't seem a reason to stay. There's a big wide.world out there, and places with far more opportunity.

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