Faust Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Granted! You're in front of every speeding train, in the way of every lightning bolt, at the centre of every star, ground zero for every bomb. In addition to the physical pain, every living thing on earth sues you for sexual assault since you're also always inside them, every secure site sues you for trespass and you contract every possible communicable condition simultaneously. Ouch. Alternative wish granting: since you are now everywhere, everywhere is now you. You spend a cold, lonely eternity drifting alone through an infinite empty void. I wish for a universal remote control that lets me control everything, including things that usually don't have remote controls (like people) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Granted. It's delivered to you as faulty and broken and who/whatever that made that remote has no customer support. Batteries not included! I wish for a Twix candy bar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Granted...and there's only one. I wish for a pony and a VCR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Granted! The pony smashes the VCR with its hooves, and then craps all over the house, before running off. I wish I owned a successful chain of fast food Restaurants called, 'Kentucky Fried rabbit', serving my original recipe, crispy, fried rabbit, that made me rich, rich, rich! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Granted! Your food is so tasty that people can't stop eating it! They eat KFR for every meal! Unfortunately, there are certain vitamins lacking in rabbit that are vital to human wellbeing (it's true! if you eat nothing but rabbit, you will die!) Everybody dies and your chain goes out of business due to lack of custom. You're rich, but with everybody dead there's nothing to spend the money on. I wish I could keep a cute, friendly fossa as a pet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Granted. You are roommates with @Fossa-Boy but it's all recorded with a laugh track and broadcast to the world. I wish I dual citizenship with Canada and the US 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Granted. The world imposes international sanctions on both Canada and the United States and the governments become extreme totalitarian states. I wish Boney M would reform and play Ra Ra Rasputin live for the whole world. We need this. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyTundraWolf Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Granted but one of your other favourite bands retire a week after the performance. I wish I could get full marks in my exams without doing any revision or preparation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Granted. Some time after receiving your results, you are accused of having cheated the exams and your exam marks are invalidated. I wish for some fresh air Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 23 hours ago, Enigma said: Granted. You are roommates with @Fossa-Boy but it's all recorded with a laugh track and broadcast to the world. This actually sounds like it might be fun @Snagged Cub Granted! Enjoy your lifetime supply of Perri-Air, freshly imported from planet Druidia, president Screwb! Just watch out for John Candy and Bill Pullman in a flying Winnebago. I wish for a new Mel Brooks movie. I miss that guy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Granted, but it turns out to be a huge box office flop. I wish I had a thunderbird (the electric bird sort) so I could use it as a power supply for various things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Granted. It overvoltages every appliance whenever you plug it in I wish my success in games correlated to my success IRL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Granted, someone assassinates you in an anarachistic uprising. I wish I could keep and have the means and skills to look after my own pet fox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 On 11/6/2016 at 5:50 AM, Enigma said: Granted. You are roommates with @Fossa-Boy but it's all recorded with a laugh track and broadcast to the world. On 11/7/2016 at 5:47 AM, Faust said: This actually sounds like it might be great fun @FaustYep, just be sure you know a good upholstery and drapery person; we tend to be rough on the furniture, and drapes take a beating; we use them like vines. Oh, and I hope you have tall ceilings, and at least some hanging lamps, to jump from! But we'll have great fun: 20 hours a day of bouncy, frisky fossa, 4 hours sleep. Maybe I can try and sleep like a bat, and hang upside down by my tail... 7 hours ago, Kinharia said: I wish I could keep and have the means and skills to look after my own pet fox. Granted, and a fine, lovely fox he is! Never messes in the house, cuddly, though he likes to scent mark the legs of anyone who enters via humping, a habit you never manage to break. I wish I was a skunk, and could spray people! And make them smell all skunky, with a special spray that did not wash off for weeks, and never got on me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 Granted, you get hit by a truck about a week later. I wish for my life had more impact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 Granted. You find yourself in the center of a meteorite impact. I wish for a nice huge mug of coffee. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 Granted. You can no longer live without consuming a cup of coffee every hour while awake. I wish I had found coffee overdosed fennec instead 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 Granted! You find an awesome fennec who has OD'd on caffeine, but it is sadly too late to revive them, and as the last person to have found them, must pay for a very elaborate, fennec funeral ritual and burial ceremony that lasts a week in the bon-fire lit desert, while thousands dance and pray and also, eat a ton of your food, costing many thousands of dollars. I wish I was a hybrid of my Fossa and Skunk fursonas...a Skossa! Able to leap, climb trees, spray and be adored by furries everywhere, who would all want to cuddle me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Granted, however nobody goes within 10m of you in case you spray by accident. I wish I had a real anthro weasel to go to a furcon with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Granted, they garner so much attention that the entire convention grinds to a halt and you have zero fun as the people form a human wall all around your friend. I wish I had a more fun folks to talk to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Granted! You now have dozens of amatuer stand-up comics mobbing you at all times, all telling jokes they think are funny, in a cacophony of noise as they compete for your attention. I wish there weren't all these mounds of dirty laundry around, and that they would just wash themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted November 14, 2016 Share Posted November 14, 2016 Granted! Your clothes now drag themselves off to the laundry to wash the very second they get dirty, even if you're still in them at the time. I wish for Miles Edgeworth's costume, complete with big floppy silk cravat. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Granted! As a small, fluttering bat, you find yourself inside just such a suit...a large one made of PVC, in which you suffocate, as you frantically searching and struggling to find a way out. I wish I was a bouncy, fun-loving Fossa version of Monkey D. Luffy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Granted. For maximum bounciness, you cover yourself in repulsion gel. Aperture Science Innovators is not responsible for any possible discomfort, lacerations, ruptured blood vessels, internal bleeding, spinal dislocations, broken bones or death. I wish I could understand how quantum computers work. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 2 hours ago, george99g said: Granted. For maximum bounciness, you cover yourself in repulsion gel. Aperture Science Innovators is not responsible for any possible discomfort, lacerations, ruptured blood vessels, internal bleeding, spinal dislocations, broken bones or death. I wish I could understand how quantum computers work. Granted. You are thrown 200 years back in time where said knowledge is useless I wish for a canister repulsion gel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Great! You get a can of gel, and whenever you are touching it everyone is repulsed by you. I wish for a swift punch to the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Granted, while your on the ground the genie throws in a stomp on your groin for free. I wish I knew about everything going on around me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Granted, you know so much it drives you insane and leads you to your own demise! I wish for very powerful sleeping pills. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Granted. They're so powerful that they kill you on the spot. I wish people would stop asking me to fix their tech and actually listen to me when I try to explain how it works. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Granted, everyone googles how their tech works and thinks this instantly makes them experts on how to fix it. The amount of poorly applied fixes makes your workload increase tenfold, eventually someone trying to fix their PC's failing PSU is electrocuted from discharging one of the filter caps through themselves. I wish all the ancient ICs like the 741 op-amp and 555 timer would vanish from devices to be replaced with much better pin compatible replacements overnight. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Granted! But the wish granting genie gets confused, and you revert back to having to use old Univac Systems, like this: I wish it would snow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Granted, however the snow is the wrong type of snow. This causes all the trains to stop working and costs a fortune in lost time and trade. I wish the world had gryphons to use in place of light aircraft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Granted. However since one gryphon can only carry one passenger, there are now millions of them flying around the place and... uh... you know how pigeons sometimes crap on your head? And... you know how gryphons are a lot bigger and have the back end of a lion? Yeeeeah... On the plus side, companies selling lion-shit-proof umbrellas see a sharp increase in their stock market share. I wish for a petting zoo full of (safe, well-behaved) mythological creatures, 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Granted! The entry price is too high for you to pay. I wish I was smurt. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Granted! You are are now extremely intelligent, more so than Einstein. However, you've also been permanently transformed into Papa Smurf, and are viewed by the world as a zany cos-player gone mad, because the wish-granting genie had trouble hearing your wish. I wish all bats had to obtain Flying Permits that cost $500/year, payable to the International Fossa Association. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 ooops, failed edit! refer to above poet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Granted. The bats get angry at this tax and start an uprising and the Fossa foundation is overthrown, and bats rule the world as the new master race. 10 hours ago, Kinharia said: I wish I was smurt. I really thought that said "I wish for some smut." :v I don't wish for smut either and I swear to god if you grant me that I will bite your toes off. I wish I actually followed through with writing poems about ideas I have. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 20, 2016 Share Posted November 20, 2016 @Feelwell the Rabbit(I didn't know you write poetry....that's my main form, here, of artistic expression, we'll have to talk sometime, about this...not a lotta poetry writing furs out there!) Also: Granted! You finally get around to writing those poems, and and they're amazing; expressing your ideas in diverse, non-cliched ways, that are always revealing and moving. The only problem is that you can only write them in a very rare dialect found only in certain tribes of Borneo, such that translation is hard, and few understand them, outside of the occasional orangutan. I wish I had some refried beans. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Granted, it's cold and taste like runny gruel. At least there's plenty of it. I wish for true love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Granted! You meet the loyal, loving female of your dreams, with whom you share many interests---though she will only make out with you on tree branches, while wearing Fossa Fursuits. (Things could be much worse!) I wish seeing a dentist was free. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Granted. The dentist is inexperienced and makes your session painful. Should have hired a professional. I wish I could draw my own avatars properly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 Granted. No one likes them. I wish for cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Granted! But it's baked using using kitty-litter instead of flour, and has a horrible, gritty consistency. At least, though, the cat litter used was clean. I wish I had a house and a car, and didn't just live in a tiny apartment, with no car or easy way to get places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Granted. You can't leave the house, the car is trapped in the garage. I wish for a subway sandwich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted November 24, 2016 Share Posted November 24, 2016 Granted. You find a sandwich in a subway, on the tracks. After jumping down to get it, you get ever so slightly splattered across the wall by the incoming subway car. I wish the Debian developers would fix this broken package I'm having trouble with. Preferably this year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArielMT Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Granted. It's deprecated just in time for the next version's feature freeze, so it won't even be in the repository. I wish I had a birthday cake. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Granted, but it's a stripper cake, and the stripper is Chase. I wish I could just materialize money into my bank account via thought. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted November 25, 2016 Share Posted November 25, 2016 Granted, but the bank feels that money is best to be immediately transfered to my account. I wish I could take over the bodies of animals so I can tricks with their bodies like walking on two legs and then everyone would be like "Awwwww!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted November 26, 2016 Share Posted November 26, 2016 wish granted, but you're stuck in the animals body for the rest of your life anime powers, i wish i had anime powers >:3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted November 27, 2016 Share Posted November 27, 2016 Granted! You have the power to make the TV show 'Gilmore Girls' into an anime version. I wish I hadn't gotten a concussion on Thanksgiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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