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Wish Corruptor


Summercat
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Granted. You instead ate some (more?) turkey and cut into a bad part and got a food poisoning. 

(I don't know if your turkey actually had a bad part but anything is possible in an alternative universe) 

I wish I had a sigil on my forehead like my 'sona

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Granted, but your components scale along with it, inverse logarithmically. You have plenty more room for your designs with far more components but your components are the size of a person and your breadboard stretches for miles.

I wish I were better about going out and trying stuff and meeting new people.

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Granted. You are soon meeting a dazzling plethora of muggers, rapists, murderers and chavs every single day. Also drug pushers, and the 'stuff' you try is probably ground-up cat worming tablets cut with shake & vac.

I wish the entire UK government would just fuck off and die.

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Granted! You find more time each day to organize everything you need to, from work to hobbies, but just as you set out to actually do something, sudden attacks of narcolepsy and sleepwalking strike. You fall asleep, then wake up, finding everything in disarray, only to once again start to organize.

I wish Disney would kill all the princesses, and princes.

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wish granted! but Disney only exists inside your mind and all those around you think you are insane and lock you up for ranting about "imaginary" people and the sophisticated murder of them. 

i wish the cake wasn't a lie

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Granted. There's cake behind several levels of portal test courses, featuring an incinerator room. You also don't get a portal gun or jump heels. 

I wish I wouldn't ever wake up tired and still have a reasonable amount of time slept

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Granted! It's discovered that pulverized and reconstituted protein bars, made from 100% Vampire Bats are orgasmically delicious, cure all illness and disease, give you an erection, and make you live forever, while maintaining a decent weight, and the vitality of youth.

*noses about for a bat*

I wish all money, credit cards and digital currencies were replaced by very large metal coins, that weighed at least 1 pound each, and any and all transactions had to take place using them.

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Granted! Hailed by economists as the most brilliant move for injecting implicit-trust into the jaded mentality of people, it nevertheless inspires a return to deflationary monetary policy which contributes to the unwinding global system, a new hyper-competative economic elite, and ultimately to a new global war between factionalized, nationalist populations waged entirly by chucking very large bags of currency at one another.

I wish for people to be happier.

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55 minutes ago, DrGravitas said:

Granted! Hailed by economists as the most brilliant move for injecting implicit-trust into the jaded mentality of people, it nevertheless inspires a return to deflationary monetary policy which contributes to the unwinding global system, a new hyper-competative economic elite, and ultimately to a new global war between factionalized, nationalist populations waged entirly by chucking very large bags of currency at one another.

I wish for people to be happier.

Well for starters you could not imagine a world like that :v

Granted. Everyone becomes joy-obsessed to a rather crazy degree. Life is spent in search of the next emotional high, and society collapses into a survival of the fittest, and most decadent.

 

I wish I lived in such a society.

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Granted! But you decide to become a monk, and as such a peaceful, gentle hare, are quickly snatched up and roasted by a passing aristocrat.

I wish everyone had to wear a bee-hive hair-do, or other such huge do's, like in the movie, 'Hair-Spray'.

 

 

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Granted! You are accidentally head butted to death by an Asian/American Footballer when he bows politely to you but misjudges the height of the new helmet he requires to contain his massive 'fro.

Hey, it could happen!

I wish for a cuddle.

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Granted! You get a wonderful, friendly, yet also very hungry crab-eating fox, but at the same time, you come down with a very bad case of crabs, the itchy kind, and the fox accidentally devours your privates, trying to eat up the crab infestation, down there.

I wish I had a box of really nice, fresh, ripe Texas Ruby Red Grapefruits.

 

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Granted! And, I can't really corrupt this one. (Actually, it would be fun to see if they can make a sub-section, for NSFW games, in the red lantern. There's a few threads, but to have a subforum would be nice!)

I wish furries didn't worry so much about what other people thought of them.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Granted. You will be so obsessed over them and their glow  that you will go too close to high concentrations of them in a fursuit that is not radioactive proof and never shall be

I wish I was taught by a real professional of the subject I am willing to learn every time I wish to learn something

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Granted, blondes really do have more fun but the insufferable nicknames and corny references to Fabio or other blonde celebrities balance it out.

I wish I were rail-thin, fit, healthy and could maintain it with the same amount of effort I put into exercise currently.

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Granted! But it has one side effect: You now look exactly like a vintage Richard Simmons, and there is no changing back, ever, you must also wear sparkly leotards as your daily apparel, even at the office.

I wish they would demolish the Whitehouse and replace it with a rusted trailer, with pink flamingos in the yard.

 

 

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Granted! All future presidents will be dumb white trailer trash because nobody else is willing to work in the new presidential offices. As a result, North America slowly transforms into South America, and South Americans start living in caves and wearing bones through their noses in a misguided attempt to stay ahead of the trend.

I wish all mildly offensive racial stereotypes would be replaced on cereal packets. I'm looking at you, Lucky Charms and Count Chockula.

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Granted! Instead, they squander their talent doing nothing but Justin Bieber covers, before branching out to doing covers of other 'boy' bands, in as vapid, overproduced and pop-like style as possible, playing open air concerts in your hometown nightly, often just outside your window.

I wish they would change the name of this site to The Fossa Forums, so I could make a rule that all avis had to show their fursonas bouncing, pouncing, or climbing trees.

 

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Granted, but as a side effect of getting a real winter you get a fake summer that ends up being mostly rain.

I wish that in the event of WW3 everyone has to use fantasy creatures instead of tanks, aircraft and ships just so I get to fly a gryphon into combat, or see dragons being used more or less as Vulcans / B-1s (though without the sound or speed)

 

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Granted, however 9 times out of 10 the items you want end up jammed when the machine tries to dispense them, forcing you to tip the thing and risk being crushed.

I wish I had a parrot sized thunderbird to use as a living benchtop power supply that can train to output the right voltage and current I need at a given time.

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Granted. It's Thunderbird 2. International Rescue has to be disbanded as a result and the entire world is soon run by tiny terrorists with obvious strings who walk like chickens.

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I wish I could make 24 carrot gold. That's literally gold made out of 24 carrots.

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Granted, but as it becomes known that this is possible, heavily armed rabbits take control of the world's carrot supply. Not only this, it's a very time consuming process, in which each carrot must be polished in a sauna, for 10 hours, before being processed; you are apprehended, shackled, and put to work as slave labor in a very steamy carrot processing facility.

I wish all Wal Mart greeters had to wear fur-suits, and hugged each customer, as they entered.

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