Wish Corruptor

[Caledonian]

Granted, you have to live on potatoes and cabbage from no on,though. Nothing else.

I wish i was born in the uk

[DrGravitas]

Granted, the historic conquest of your homeland by the English in the 15th century is a point of contention (and bafflement to historians); voting is Tuesday and polls indicate heavy support in favor of seceeding from the UK.

I wish my code would compile and run correctly the first time and everytime.

[Feelwell]

Granted, but now you can only code terrible, creepy zootopia flash games about vore.

 

I wish I had more energy to write.

[Rabbit Head]

Granted, but everything you write will never be up to your personal standards and you'll always struggle in constant frustration to write something that personally satisfies you. And you neeever will.

I wish my art was more popular on the internet. 

[Kinharia]

Granted, you end up drawing things so disgusting that people view it in their art history class so that they can learn how art can drive someone mad.

 

I wish I had more money to buy dresses.

[Monty Grizzle]

Granted, your purchasing of numerous dresses is a huge boost to companies that take advantage of underpaid sweatshop workers in developing countries.

I wish my clothes would always fit no matter what.

[Faust]

Granted. 'Ere mate, want to buy this Furry Internet Forum? Only slightly soiled, one careful owner. It 'fell off the back of a lorry' if you know what I mean, squire? Only four billion quid to you.

I wish I could write vapour-trail messages on the sky using the power of my mind.

[fennecbyte]

Granted. The vapor trail uses lead particles to be more visible. You end up inhaling that, getting lead poisoning and dying a slow and painful death.

I wish compilers liked me more and didn't complain as much.

[Faust]

Granted. Compilers now love you so much that they don't complain at all, leaving you completely at a loss as to why your code is failing. Warnings are there for a reason, yo.

I wish that cows would moo in tune.

[Feelwell]

Granted, now all you hear is mooing for the rest of your life.

Welcome to dairy hell.

 

I wish we'd stop being assigned science homework. Constantly.

[DevilBear]

You will now stay in school until you finish your work, everyday. You may have to sleep over on weekends. Bam.

I wish I could learn any language I wanted with ease.

[Caledonian]

Granted. You can only know one language at a time and have to forget the previous language before you can use the new one

I wish mom would let me go to thistle camp

[Rabbit Head]

granted, but she forgets to pick you up for two months.

My wish is for this wish to be granted.

[Monty Grizzle]

Granted, you just wasted a perfectly good wish.

[Snagged]

... Granted? Your wish didn't come as empty. The corruption of the wish has sent you into a bathtub full of leeches

I wish for a fortune cookie

[Caledonian]

Granted,.the cookie is expired and there's no fortune inside 

I wish for good sketches for class

[Faust]

Granted. However, since they're all signed 'Leonardo Da Vinci' your teacher sees right through the deception and gives you detention.

I wish that the high street wasn't always full of bloody annoying fire-and-brimstone christian preachers with megaphones.

[Feelwell]

Granted, now it's full of radicalized Muslim terrorists.

How's that for fire and brimstone?

 

I wish I was a real anthro-rabbit.

_{very curious to see how you'll corrupt this one.}

[Caledonian]

Granted, not only are you the only anthro in a world of humans,.you also loose the ability to speak normally. You are locked up for medic testing, as nobody views you as intelligent. You're a rabbit after all

I wish for a steampunk revolution to happen.

[Faust]

Granted! Bye-bye internet, the Difference Engine just doesn't have the bandwidth to cope with it!

Also, due to the limitations of steam power, all cars now take 15 minutes to start, there's no boot space because you need somewhere to store all that coal and water, and the massive amounts of vapour produced by every single family car means that it rains all day, every day.

Also you're captured by counter-revolutionaries and shot as one of the main leaders of the revolution. And they don't even use steam-powered guns to do it. Bummer.

I wish I was bright purple all over.

[DrGravitas]

Your skin begins to emit ultraviolet light. You can't really see it but it is an exceptionally bright purple. Bees are highly attracted to you and become confused and angry when they reach you.

I wish I never needed sleep.

[Rabbit Head]

Granted, you're dead. Now you never need sleep.

 

I wish I had a 

[DevilBear]

Granted. A giant letter A from a Marriott hotel lands on you, killing you instantly.

I wish I had a better job.

[Faust]

Granted! You are now a croupier. You are surrounded by rich betters placing bets every single day.

I wish I could invent a new and ingenious machine.

[Feelwell]

Granted. Its responsible for millions of meaningless deaths and you become hated.

Hmm, I wish to stay a teenager forever.

[Monty Grizzle]

Granted, you are condemned to a life of permanent acne, mood swings, rampant hormones and a have sleep schedule that's several hours behind that of your adult peers.

I wish to be in perfect health for the rest of my life. 

[Caledonian]

Granted. You die of an accident within an hour.

I wish Scotland would conquer the world,

[Feelwell]

Granted, but since it's unprepared to rule the world, society collapses and the world splits apart, leading humanity into a dark age.

 

I wish I had an amazing boyfriend.

[Faust]

Granted, your new boyfriend is amazing... ly horrible, violent, rude, abusive and (goodness knows how...) homophobic. It's truly amazing what a horrible pile of human refuse he genuinely is, but he's yours so you wuv him.

I wish I had a work chair that didn't squeak, groan and fall to pieces at will.

[Feelwell]

3 hours ago, Faust said:

Granted, your new boyfriend is amazing... ly horrible, violent, rude, abusive and (goodness knows how...) homophobic. It's truly amazing what a horrible pile of human refuse he genuinely is, but he's yours so you wuv him..

Wow. 

Wow.

Woah.

You sure I wuv him?

(Skip me, do Fenrir.)

 

[Faust]

14 minutes ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

You sure I wuv him?

Stockholm Syndrome's a bitch, huh?

(Skip meh also, then I get to keep my wish! )

[Monty Grizzle]

2 hours ago, Faust said:

Stockholm Syndrome's a bitch, huh?

(Skip meh also, then I get to keep my wish! )

Oh no, you're not getting away that easily!

Granted, your chair no longer groans or squeaks and instead falls to pieces against your will.

I wish I could come up with more creative ways to corrupt wishes.

 

 

[DrGravitas]

Granted, you are transformed into an evil genie and imprisoned in a magic vacuum cleaner for 1000 years with nothing to do but think of ways to corrupt whatever wish you're asked of by your eventual releaser.

I wish understood everything.

[Feelwell]

Granted. Your mind fragments and twists in an attempt to accomdate power such as that, and you are left a raving lunatic with a shattered awareness of existence. 

 

I wish humanity wasn't at its heart so damn hopeless and corrupt.

[Frig]

Granted. Humanity becomes a hugbox.

 

I wish my living room would clean itself > >

[Monty Grizzle]

Granted, a powerful automated cleaning system is installed that after developing a contiousness of its own, deems the inhabitants of the house part of the 'filth' and will stop at nothing to clean you all away.

I wish I'd stop procrastin..... urghhh, I'll write the rest of this word later

[Caledonian]

Granted. No idea what procastin is so nothing happened

I wish world peace

[Monty Grizzle]

1 minute ago, Caledonian said:

Granted. No idea what procastin is so nothing happened

I was making a joke about putting off writing the word procrastinate due to procrastination.

(Skip Caledonian, do me again :V)

[Caledonian]

23 minutes ago, Monty Grizzle said:

I was making a joke about putting off writing the word procrastinate due to procrastination.

(Skip Caledonian, do me again :V)

I know, i know 

[Feelwell]

I'll do BOTH!

Monty:

Granted, now you are never, ever able to put something off and your life becomes and endless cycle of work and things unfinished. You are never able to stop and enjoy something.

Caledonian:

Granted. No conflict is possible and all adversity is quickly quashed since everyone works together. Life becomes meaningless and dull and the world becomes a grey, emotionless nightmare.

 

I wish I could make up my mind about who I am.

_{Corrupt this one, suckahs.}

[DrGravitas]

You decide you are Napoleon and spend the rest of your days in an insane asylum.

I wish I had more time that I lack.

[Feelwell]

1 hour ago, DrGravitas said:

You decide you are Napoleon and spend the rest of your days in an insane asylum.

I wish I had more time that I lack.

Shit. Okay I was not expecting that.

Also, be careful of that wording...

(Skip me, do Gravitas.)

Edit: Warned you grav.

[Caledonian]

Granted, you now lack more time

I wish for a light bulb

[DrGravitas]

 

I wish for skills in accordion and bagpipe playing.

[Feelwell]

Granted. You lose all other skills and spend life in a torment, being able to do nothing but play accordion and bagpipes. You lose all friends and family members because they can't stand you and you're evicted for disturbing the neighbors. You wander the streets playing, and get brutally beaten by street thugs for the irritating music. The police pick you up for repeated disturbing the peace violations. Even after your instruments are removed you keep constructing makeshift ones out of refuse, until you get shanked and die in prison alone, with no friends, bleeding your last on cold concrete.

 

I wish I could dedicate writing to something better than writing incredibly depressing things.

[Caledonian]

48 minutes ago, DrGravitas said:

 

I wish for skills in bagpipe playing.

Me too, mate.

Skip meh

[Faust]

On 14 May 2016 at 9:37 PM, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

I wish I could dedicate writing to something better than writing incredibly depressing things.

Granted. You dedicate all your writing henceforth to GOD. Unfortunately the god in question is Xipe Totec, obliging you to ritually flay a human sacrifice every time you sit down to write something.

I wish that Angela Merkel would sprout eagle wings and a raccoon tail and go on a world crusade against people who like gherkins.

(I have strange dreams sometimes)

[DevilBear]

Granted. Someone has slipped 4 hits of acid into your tea. Enjoy the trip.

I wish I could pause and unpause time at will, allowing me to sleep in on work days.

[Feelwell]

Granted, but after pausing you realize that the laws of science no longer work and your body can no longer function.

1 hour ago, Faust said:

Granted. You dedicate all your writing henceforth to GOD. Unfortunately the god in question is Xipe Totec, obliging you to ritually flay a human sacrifice every time you sit down to write something.

Credit where it's due, that is a very corrupted wish. That certainly would be shitty.

I wish I felt more alive.

[Frig]

Granted and u never sleep again from being so alive.

 

I wish my coffee would never get cold!