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Gripe: People don't know how to coffee


Red Lion
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Not really a problem worthy of a full blown rant so I'm just gonna label this one a gripe. But I've had to skip my usual cups of coffee this morning and afternoon so I'm cranky. 

Every time my brother makes the coffee he somehow manages to get a bunch of grounds in the brew. And I don't mean a few grounds I mean a LOT of grounds. I have no idea how, we don't use a paper filter, our coffee maker has a basket, you just rinse it out and put new grounds in and you're good to go, but somehow he manages to get more grounds in  the pot than in the basket. By the time I've poured the last cup it's like I'm staring at something scooped out of the bottom of our creek. My brother will blame the coffee maker even though no one else has this problem. I don't know why anyone lets him near the coffee maker anymore but this morning I stumbled to the machine and watched in horror as blobs of gritty black sludge splattered into my cup. I didn't have time to wash the pot and brew more so I just left without having any. 

Then there's my friend. Lovely girl, very sweet, not that much of a coffee drinker herself. She insists on making a pot whenever I visit her but she makes the weakest most anemic coffee. I think she's said she uses 1or 2 leveled table spoons of grounds for 12 cups of water. 

Then there's my other friend. He's a filthy heathen who only uses instant coffee which he then proceeds to load with cream and sugar whether you ask for it or not He openly admits that he doesn't like the instant coffee nearly as much as the type you have to brew but he hates waiting and will sacrifice quality for convenience. ....I've let him know him he's going to hell.

 

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oops i made a bad coffee at work today

but well, we were out of normal coffee filters and i had to try to frankenstein one out of smaller ones and it didn't go very well

more coffee under the pot than in it, grounds all up in everything.

and because it was the coffee they always have at work, it didn't even taste good.  the best part is, i drank mine cold because i ran out of time and had to get parking lot trash before coming back in.  so i got a tiny little styrofoam cup full of cold, gritty coffee that tasted like burnt ass.  C:  but i still drank it (in about ten seconds) because shitty coffee better than no coffee.

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6 hours ago, willow said:

that's really sad...

coffee isn't even that hard to make either so how people manage to botch it so bad is beyond me :/

"hates waiting and will sacrifice quality for convenience" - OP

There's your problem 

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16 hours ago, Red Lion said:

Every time my brother makes the coffee he somehow manages to get a bunch of grounds in the brew. And I don't mean a few grounds I mean a LOT of grounds. I have no idea how, we don't use a paper filter, our coffee maker has a basket, you just rinse it out and put new grounds in and you're good to go, but somehow he manages to get more grounds in  the pot than in the basket.

I like Turkish coffee, so I don't see a problem here.

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1 hour ago, Zerig said:

thats funny cause all coffee is bad coffee

tea master race

The tea equivalent of OP's problem would be tea that is badly brewed (don't know better word for this) as in it's too dilluted or you let it brew so much it becomes bitter

As a tea drinker, this grinds my gears

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18 hours ago, #00Buck said:

Coffee is overrated. 

fight me bro

 

11 hours ago, Gator said:

oops i made a bad coffee at work today

but well, we were out of normal coffee filters and i had to try to frankenstein one out of smaller ones and it didn't go very well

more coffee under the pot than in it, grounds all up in everything.

and because it was the coffee they always have at work, it didn't even taste good.  the best part is, i drank mine cold because i ran out of time and had to get parking lot trash before coming back in.  so i got a tiny little styrofoam cup full of cold, gritty coffee that tasted like burnt ass.  C:  but i still drank it (in about ten seconds) because shitty coffee better than no coffee.

I'm ashamed of you, son. 

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9 hours ago, DrGravitas said:

I like Turkish coffee, so I don't see a problem here.

Our coffee is no were near ground fine enough to make a good cup of turkish coffee. The mud doesn't just sink to the bottom of the cup, specks of it tend to float to the top. Our coffee, if brewed right is decent, but you can't really do anything fancy with it.

Just now, Gator said:

bullshit you woulda done the same

Probably. Doesn't make it any less shameful >8B

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I hate when people make super weak coffee. My buddy's dad always made it really weak until I took over the coffee making duties lol

We bought one of those reusable filters for our pot but it was both too small for our machine and the pores were so small that it drained super slow so it over-flows the basket. But our coffee pot is different than what I had growing up, its a Bunn machine and it looks like it came from a restaurant. The water pours over the grounds really fast rather than a slow drip.

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Find a way to watch him make coffee without him noticing.  Set up a camera or something.  The only things I can think of that would put grinds in the pot are too much coffee in the basket, coffee packed in the basket, or no basket used at all.

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17 minutes ago, ArielMT said:

Find a way to watch him make coffee without him noticing.  Set up a camera or something.  The only things I can think of that would put grinds in the pot are too much coffee in the basket, coffee packed in the basket, or no basket used at all.

Wow, we're now entering the realm of non-consensual coffee peeping tom videos. It's like the equivalent of an upskirts video for hot beverages. 

Why not just stand next to them when they make it. Their level of idiocy will be no different if you're in the room or not. 

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2 hours ago, MuttButt said:

I'll fix you a mean cup of coffee man, I've got the fuckin' french press down to a science. I never burn it and I brew it strong af, 3-4 spoonfuls per cup of coffee.

Sounds good to me. Gimme.

1 hour ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

I'll make sure to put lots of french vanilla cream, sugar, and chocolate syrup in your coffee :3c

...You're going to hell right along with mr insta-coffee >:[

4 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Wow, we're now entering the realm of non-consensual coffee peeping tom videos. It's like the equivalent of an upskirts video for hot beverages. 

Why not just stand next to them when they make it. Their level of idiocy will be no different if you're in the room or not. 

I actually watched him earlier today, he doesn't measure out the grounds with the scooper, he just dumps them from the pack into the basket until he deems the pile big enough. Gets grounds everywhere. 

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Just now, Red Lion said:

I actually watched him earlier today, he doesn't measure out the grounds with the scooper, he just dumps them from the pack into the basket until he deems the pile big enough. Gets grounds everywhere. 

You found that out without the equivalent of making an episode of To Catch A Predator or a Paranormal Experience movie?

How did you do that?

Not possible! A hidden camera is the only way! Only by invading people's privacy and violating their trust can we find out what we need to know!

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1 minute ago, #00Buck said:

You found that out without the equivalent of making an episode of To Catch A Predator or a Paranormal Experience movie?

How did you do that?

Not possible! A hidden camera is the only way! Only by invading people's privacy and violating their trust can we find out what we need to know!

W5 Investigates The Truth About Coffeehouse Employees - Only on CTV

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I love to make coffee, with African beans being my favorite, especially from Ethiopia and Kenya. Indonesia also puts out some very tasty beans. I think it's key to buy whole, recently roasted beans, and grind them yourself, using a burr as opposed to a blade grinder, so that you get a nice, even grind.

From there, depending on the roast, I can go with drip, espresso, or sometimes French Press.

Green Tea is just OK to me, and black tea makes me throw up, for some reason, some kind of allergy. I like Ginseng Tea best, from red roots, but this is not 'tea', per se.

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2 hours ago, Red Lion said:

I actually watched him earlier today, he doesn't measure out the grounds with the scooper, he just dumps them from the pack into the basket until he deems the pile big enough. Gets grounds everywhere. 

I have no words.  None at all.  Just total, epic, jaw-dropping disbelief.

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12 hours ago, #00Buck said:

You found that out without the equivalent of making an episode of To Catch A Predator or a Paranormal Experience movie?

How did you do that?

Not possible! A hidden camera is the only way! Only by invading people's privacy and violating their trust can we find out what we need to know!

Well you see it was very difficult.

I happened to find myself in kitchen when he was making the pot. While he was at the machine I turned my head a few degrees to the right and kept my eyes open. *sagely nodding*

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39 minutes ago, Wrecker said:

Coffee is coffee, fuck you should see the no-name shit that we brew in our lunch trailer.

2 bags of god knows what, a pile of coffee-mate, and bam you can stand your stir stick straight up in it :P

So damn bitter you can hardly taste a tuna sandwich

That sounds deeply unpleasant. 

When I was still a full time college student the coffee they served on campus was so weak you could barely taste it. It was like drinking slightly dirty hot water. I drank it anyway because it was a free cup of coffee but it gave me no joy. 

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15 hours ago, Wrecker said:

Coffee is coffee, fuck you should see the no-name shit that we brew in our lunch trailer.

2 bags of god knows what, a pile of coffee-mate, and bam you can stand your stir stick straight up in it :P

So damn bitter you can hardly taste a tuna sandwich

Every hipster and foodie in Brooklyn and Manhattan would faint, just reading this. Your user name is aptly chosen; their lives would never be the same, having heard of such a vile brew!

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15 hours ago, Wrecker said:

Coffee is coffee, fuck you should see the no-name shit that we brew in our lunch trailer.

2 bags of god knows what, a pile of coffee-mate, and bam you can stand your stir stick straight up in it :P

So damn bitter you can hardly taste a tuna sandwich

I beg to differ.

Hotel room coffee is an abomination that must be banned from the surface of the earth.

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