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Gripe: People don't know how to coffee


Red Lion
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Gah, coffee is so easy! Five(!) scoops, lightly rounded, of light roast beans (Starbucks Veranda or Willow whole bean) med-fine ground in a burr mill. A Mr. Coffee coffee maker, paper filter with twelve cups of water, essentially a full water dispenser. Flip switch, wait for the brew to finish. This combination is so repeatable and it works every time. Nobody, my family or friends, has complained about my coffee, ever and we come from a coffee drinking family. The scooper in question is the one that comes with the coffee maker. It's the perfect size.

Anybody that gets grounds in the coffee is doing it wrong. Too much coffee grounds in the basket causing an overflow (my brother) or sloppy with the grounds (my first wife). If it's weak and full of grounds, that's sloppy with the grounds, plain and simple.

Further, being former military, you do not put anything in your coffee. Just plain bad form. Drink it black or not at all.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/8/2016 at 5:14 PM, Pignog said:

That is my consensus, the travesty of allowing a "Barrista", basically an underpaid college kid, to brew your coffee for you. What do they know about coffee? They are too young and inexperienced to have mad coffee brewing skills. I would suspect they have no idea light roast has more caffeine than dark roast. The roasting process burns out the caffeine so ergo, the darker the roast, the lighter the caffeine load. Also, StarShmucks always uses too much grounds when they brew. Just because the filter holds twenty scoops, that doesn't mean you have to use twenty scoops. Once it's brewed, there is no 'fixing' it. If you can't drink it black, toss it out and try again.

If you really want to know how to brew coffee, find someone that has served in the military. We have the knowledge.

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3 hours ago, Kellan Meig'h said:

I would suspect they have no idea light roast has more caffeine than dark roast. The roasting process burns out the caffeine so ergo, the darker the roast, the lighter the caffeine load.

Never knew this! I always thought it was the other way around actually, like how the longer you brew tea the stronger (& more caffeinated, I presume) it gets. Thank you for the knowledge, wise coffee-masta! :P 

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2016-10-26 17.46.10.png

 

#TeamCocoa
#HotChocolatePLS

 

OT: To be quite honest I'm more of a tea drinker because it calms me in many ways. Earl Grey all the way. 

I don't really drink coffee. Not because I don't like it but because it causes me to instant crash. I'm naturally energetic no matter how I wake up so drinking anything caffinated just gets me sleepy.

I do LOVE the smell of coffee beans and grounds (especially hazelnut). It's almost magical and uplifting and just for that I do appreciate a small cup now and then. The more bitter the better (although I do like at least one cube of sugar).  

Edited by Vaer
I suppose I should post something more on topic.
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> twisted panties about how bean water is prepared

Why do people get so bitchy about this kind of thing?
It's coffee. Embrace it. Appreciate it. Love it for whatever it wants to be.

Also you can mix cocoa in coffee. I recommend it. Shit's good.

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29 minutes ago, Vae said:

> twisted panties about how bean water is prepared

Why do people get so bitchy about this kind of thing?
It's coffee. Embrace it. Appreciate it. Love it for whatever it wants to be.

Also you can mix cocoa in coffee. I recommend it. Shit's good.

Um, don't say that to anyone that's been in or still in the military - those are fighting words. While it may technically be seed water (coffee beans are actually seeds), it is coffee. And, it is an art form. Badly made coffee is the same as badly made anything. If it's not palatable, why drink it? I can't embrace poorly made coffee because it insults my taste buds.

How about badly made tea? Yeah, not good. Badly made cocoa? That even pisses me off.

I grumble all day long when I'm forced to buy brewed coffee at StarShmucks. That stuff is an insult to Juan Valdez! (inside joke). I've had instant coffee that was better. Or, "Magic Cocoa". (google it) When I was stationed at RAF Lakenheath, England, I really got into loose leaf tea. Came back to the states, found very few good shops near Nellis AFB, Las Vegas, Nevada. This was before the internet so everything was advertised in a magazine or catalog. Had to give up my tea habit although I still make Irish Breakfast Tea on occasion and I do appreciate properly made cocoa.

And don't you dare put flavored coffee in my cup - if I want that, I'll break out the Cafe Vienna.

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7 hours ago, Kellan Meig'h said:

#triggered

Lol okay.

I'll be over here actually enjoying it, and not shitting myself every time it deviates even slightly from my needlessly prissy standards.

ertfdgg.PNG

Mmmm coffee.
 

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