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Should the US invade Britain, so we can make them our butlers and maids?


Fossa
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Should the US invade Britain, so we can make them our butlers and maids?  

15 members have voted

  1. 1. Should the US invade Britain, so we can make them our butlers and maids?

    • Yes, this is a wonderful idea
    • No, it would be far too rash a thing to do
    • Perhaps, and depending on who I got to choose for my humble servant


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Here in Maryland, we were just celebrating the anniversary of the war of 1812, in which the UK had the gall to try and take over again, even going so far as to burn down the white house and the capitol building.

Not very nice!

So I was thinking to myself. Well. Maybe it's time to get even, because I'm not sure we did. I can't recall going over there, and burning any of their choice buildings down. So then I reckoned the US is always invading these god-forsaken places in the middle-east, that are basically just sand and rocks and dust, and really hot and boring. A few camels and some oil. So if were gonna invade, we should take over someplace nice for a change, because the US is always invading somewhere; just can't keep it's hands off of places.

And this way, we could make the people there our butlers and maids, and they'd have those quaint accents and be perfect in these roles. We'd all have less housework to do, and we could feel all privileged, like in Downton Abbey. If there's enough to go around, some could even be cooks and chauffeurs, and the like. It'd give so many people here a break, I can't but help think the idea is a sound one.

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I mean, we were the ones who declared war on Britain, we even tried to conquer Canada (maybe we were low on maple syrup at the time?) and they burnt down the White House in retaliation for us burning down a town in Canada...

Britain barely even noticed the war, as a little man known as Napoleon was invading Russia at the time we started it...

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12 minutes ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

I won't even ask how the sepia photo was online messaged to you.

All I know is that Lizzy and I are in love and we're moving to a villa in Spain.

You guys can all come to our wedding.

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12 minutes ago, Osrik said:

I mean, we were the ones who declared war on Britain, we even tried to conquer Canada (maybe we were low on maple syrup at the time?) and they burnt down the White House in retaliation for us burning down a town in Canada...

Britain barely even noticed the war, as a little man known as Napoleon was invading Russia at the time we started it...

They were impressing our sailors (impressment, i.e. forcing them at gunpoint to join their navy or die) to fight off Napoleon, we objected. They burned down DC, we burned down the largest city in Canada at the time, and we both decided that both sides' honor was kept, and called the war off.

 

Back on topic, God save the queen, maybe she can find King Arthur and we can all go back to being Romans because I don't think this democracy thing is working out anymore over here :V

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11 minutes ago, LadyRadarEars said:

They were impressing our sailors (impressment, i.e. forcing them at gunpoint to join their navy or die) to fight off Napoleon, we objected. They burned down DC, we burned down the largest city in Canada at the time, and we both decided that both sides' honor was kept, and called the war off.

 

Back on topic, God save the queen, maybe she can find King Arthur and we can all go back to being Romans because I don't think this democracy thing is working out anymore over here :V

The issue of impressment was only one cause of the war; it is important to note that the portion of the country most effected by it (the Northeast, the area of the country whose economy at the time was totally based around maritime commerce) actually voted strongly against the war, while the South and West were almost entirely for it. There were even those in Congress that thought that America should declare war on France instead of Britain.

A desire to drive Britain out of Canada and North America as a whole probably played a significant part in motivating the war, as shown by the American invasion of Canada. Also, the invasion was defeated and the Canadian city burned before Britain burned DC, just as a matter of chronology.

As to the end of the war, it is more likely that Britain really had no interest in the war to begin with, and just wanted it over in order to focus on Napoleon.

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34 minutes ago, Osrik said:

The issue of impressment was only one cause of the war; it is important to note that the portion of the country most effected by it (the Northeast, the area of the country whose economy at the time was totally based around maritime commerce) actually voted strongly against the war, while the South and West were almost entirely for it. There were even those in Congress that thought that America should declare war on France instead of Britain.

A desire to drive Britain out of Canada and North America as a whole probably played a significant part in motivating the war, as shown by the American invasion of Canada. Also, the invasion was defeated and the Canadian city burned before Britain burned DC, just as a matter of chronology.

As to the end of the war, it is more likely that Britain really had no interest in the war to begin with, and just wanted it over in order to focus on Napoleon.

Also iirc the New England area considered making a separate peace deal with britain which would've resulted in them becoming independent of the rest of the United States :V

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1 minute ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Of course I'm being silly & tongue in cheek here, and this is really just a parody of the imperialistic tendencies of every civilization of note in human history outside of Egypt.

But I call dibs on Saxon. His rather unique outfit is waiting :V

ftfy

 

Also you can't call dibs on Saxon I already sent him to Aussieland to get me timtams!

Honest.

 

i totally didn't stuff him into a box and mailed him to a random address in australia

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1 hour ago, LadyRadarEars said:

Also iirc the New England area considered making a separate peace deal with britain which would've resulted in them becoming independent of the rest of the United States :V

I vaguely remember that too...

Probably one of the strangest American wars, where the most known battle was fought after it was over, the main thing remembered from it is a song, and it doesn't seem that either side knew exactly what they wanted to gain from the war.

55 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Of course I'm being silly & tongue in cheek here, and this is really just a parody of the imperialistic tendencies of the US.

I know, it's just my job as a historian to insert relevant historical facts into discussions where they aren't wanted.

Have a mildly humorous video somewhat about the war for your trouble:

 
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27 minutes ago, Lopaw said:

If such a conflict where to happen it would turn nuclear very quick and lead to mutually assured destruction.

Britain and France combined don't have enough nukes for that tho.

 

Only Russiya and Murika got into the 'must have the most and biggest phallic rocket exploder devices' race, everyone else that had them just had a couple and some submarines because they didn't want the other two thinking they could just be invaded willynilly :V

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1 hour ago, Pignog said:

Like seriously we're sitting on top of all the rocks, oil, wheat, and water you'd ever want just come take it

 

Because we like Canada.

 

Anyway, the internet does not like Americans to talk about that war.

But Britain of all places?  We already got back back at the UK when we broke their navy (and they were more than happy to recognize our sovereignty then when they needed some pocket change. Exactly the caricature of a reluctant father.) And if we're going to play empire we should do it with someplace with things worth not taking.

 

 

 

 

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12 minutes ago, Jtrekkie said:

But Britain of all places?  We already got back back at the UK when we broke their navy (and they were more than happy to recognize our sovereignty then when they needed some pocket change. Exactly the caricature of a reluctant father.) And if we're going to play empire we should do it with someplace with things worth not taking.

But, but, but....just think of those adorable accents! And having your own servants to boss about. And all those quaint castles, attractive gardens and country houses. 

Plus, my plan would make it so the most currently rich/posh Brits get placed first, and in the hardest situations, as scullery maids and such. This idea will bring about a new era is social equality and justice. 

Do not bother with Mexico or Canada; what you want is a genuine UK servant. You could even dress them up like Dr. Who, and stuff.

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15 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Of course I'm being silly & tongue in cheek here, and this is really just a parody of the imperialistic tendencies of the US.

But I call dibs on Saxon. His rather unique outfit is waiting :V

 

15 hours ago, LadyRadarEars said:

ftfy

 

Also you can't call dibs on Saxon I already sent him to Aussieland to get me timtams!

Honest.

 

i totally didn't stuff him into a box and mailed him to a random address in australia

 

hqdefault.jpg

 

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1 hour ago, Fossa-Boy said:

But, but, but....just think of those adorable accents! And having your own servants to boss about. And all those quaint castles, attractive gardens and country houses. 

Plus, my plan would make it so the most currently rich/posh Brits get placed first, and in the hardest situations, as scullery maids and such. This idea will bring about a new era is social equality and justice. 

Do not bother with Mexico or Canada; what you want is a genuine UK servant. You could even dress them up like Dr. Who, and stuff.

 

You make a convincing argument, Fossa.

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17 hours ago, Zerig said:

No they're actually becoming good again since they left the Europoor Union

Once Britain will be great again, they will re-invade US (or re-re-invade if you count the music band) and will capture your politicians, lock them up in zoos where posh gentlemen point out to look at the stupid fat Americans who let themselves be invaded so easily

(Of course this is satire) 

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34 minutes ago, Snagged Cub said:

Once Britain will be great again, they will re-invade US .

 

They lost the ability to do that when they allowed RP to fall out of style.

230 years later some nobody shows up speaking the Queen's and everybody automatically thinks he's an authority and knows exactly what he's taking about. We're just lucky the British have no idea how to exploit that kind of cultural weakness.

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