#00Buck Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Just now, Lucyfish said: Is appreciated. I know I'm a bitch sometimes but in the end I am hippy scum. I know I'm a troll and I make fun of everything but underneath it all I really do care. I hope you get all the love you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Just now, #00Buck said: I know I'm a troll and I make fun of everything but underneath it all I really do care. I hope you get all the love you need. I'm a polyamorous deviant, so that's a lot. :B 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butters Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 Times are hard. I'm pretty sure the number one reason people commit suicide is because they see their situation as hopeless. Bravery and gumption don't have nothing to do with depression. That's one for the basket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Lion Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 13 minutes ago, Lucyfish said: It may sound cheesy as fuck, but love is kind of like my religion. I believe it to be the most powerful force in the known universe. I'm a cynical crabapple but I can get behind this. One of the things keeping me going is my fundamental belief that no matter how ignorant, incompetent or deeply flawed we are, humans are fundamentally good and worthy of love and respect. For me it's not just being loved it's having someone too love. Like my own ability to love someone with all my heart is what keeps me grounded to my own sense of being. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 1 minute ago, Butters said: Times are hard. I'm pretty sure the number one reason people commit suicide is because they see their situation as hopeless. Bravery and gumption don't have nothing to do with depression. That's one for the basket. I think getting up and fighting that depression is incredibly brave. Depression is a monster that can be scarier and more threatening than any monster or bank robber. If you get that low and are in the pits with nothing else to do, and you manage to pull yourself out of that, you deserve a damn medal in my eyes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarthTheWereWolf Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 15 minutes ago, Red Lion said: I'm a cynical crabapple but I can get behind this. One of the things keeping me going is my fundamental belief that no matter how ignorant, incompetent or deeply flawed we are, humans are fundamentally good and worthy of love and respect. For me it's not just being loved it's having someone too love. Like my own ability to love someone with all my heart is what keeps me grounded to my own sense of being. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silo Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 16 minutes ago, Lucyfish said: I think getting up and fighting that depression is incredibly brave. It's a shame that we believe that we fight these battles. It's wrong to give ourselves credit for the things we didn't do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Endless/Nameless Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 1 hour ago, Lucyfish said: [insert quote of your choice here] I know we don't talk much but I just felt like saying I wish the best for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 7 hours ago, Endless/Nameless said: I know we don't talk much but I just felt like saying I wish the best for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlynnCoyote Posted October 14, 2016 Author Share Posted October 14, 2016 Hearing my other co-workers talking about this matter the last couple days is becoming increasingly frustrating. My foreman in particular is adamant that suicide is the coward's way out and talks down to me like I'm a moron for contesting that idea. I've since learned that the guy's split with his ex was far more hostile than I thought and he lost a significant piece of property in the following legal matters. I've also learned that both of them were involved with shady people, as in really shady bikie gang people. And given that the pair of them had told us conflicting accounts of how the divorce was handled and why it happened shortly after, I am no longer as convinced as I was a few days ago that this was actually a suicide. Last I heard the coroner hadn't released his findings yet, so my suspicions might not amount to anything. But still, this whole thing is mindfucking me more than it should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 On 10/12/2016 at 4:13 PM, MissFleece said: I hope you dont mind me keeping this for reference in the future. I never know what to say, since I've been depressed for 11 years, everything I can think of seems like platitudes. I end up making it worse I have to agree, the hardest thing when talking to someone depressed or suicidal is offering platitudes, that is something I absolutely hate and cannot do... Examples: "Oh no dont kill yourself, it'll be okay, you have so much to live for, it will get better, you will be fine, you can do it" I dont lightly say "you'll be okay" or "you'll be fine" or "everything will get better". If I do, it typically means I know someone well enough to damn well reassure them, so that in my mind I believe that. Honestly all those falsetto advice and cheer ups mean jack unless they actually are true, I usually observe the situation and offer logical grounding. One time...someone else I knew wanted to die. They viewed themself as less important than the others they have lost in their life and wished to be a replacement. So I messaged them a lot, one of their replies to me was something along the lines of "If you love me, why wont you let me die?" ...and that was the weirdest question to be asked, logically I do love them, and I would want their pain and suffering to end if it meant they were at peace...but at the same time, I still loved them and absolutely would fight to keep them alive, because its not the end and I know they have more to do and see in life despite the low point. The easy response would be "No no dont kill yourself I love you" ...so my response was something like, to the best of my memories, was"Well do you want to die, then I cant stop you, go ahead", essentially I somehow said they should... Their response was upset "WTF you actually want me to die why would you say something like that?" (Which is ironic enough...people have loved ones who want to keep them alive, but those that want to kill themself wish they had no love ones to harm emotionally when they pass. An odd thing not to want, since having loved ones is something many people lack and wish to have. Seems there are too many reasons and lack thereof to commit it) ...my response back was "That's the INFURIATING part! I do not want you to die because I love you, I cant imagine ever giving you permission to kill yourself because its just...wrong. I cant do that. Im not going to give you permission to kill yourself. Ever. I want you to live and will help you see that you can do it" One trend I noticed though is people will often talk down about themselves, to the point its illogical, in those times its easy to give them gentle reminders and combat their responses with knowledge you have that proves otherwise On 10/12/2016 at 10:35 PM, Lucyfish said: It may sound cheesy as fuck, but love is kind of like my religion. I believe it to be the most powerful force in the known universe. Ditto on that, Sharkie. I think the biggest barrier to life in general is we dont love enough. Arguments, fights, anger, lack of open mindedness, hatred...the world is harsh. Im sick of it. I had enough of that, the opposite is the greatest thing you can give anyone. In any form. Love doesnt have to be exclusively romantic; there's many forms of love...parental, friendship, respectful, admiring. I often tell all my friends, at one point or another, that I love them. Because "I love you" Shouldnt be a phrase exclusive to one person. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissFleece Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 2 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said: I've since learned that the guy's split with his ex was far more hostile than I thought and he lost a significant piece of property in the following legal matters. I've also learned that both of them were involved with shady people, as in really shady bikie gang people. And given that the pair of them had told us conflicting accounts of how the divorce was handled and why it happened shortly after, I am no longer as convinced as I was a few days ago that this was actually a suicide. Last I heard the coroner hadn't released his findings yet, so my suspicions might not amount to anything. But still, this whole thing is mindfucking me more than it should. Yeah, either he had "help", or just couldn't take his life falling apart. Either is heartbreaking. I'm sorry you have to deal with everyone still talking about it, they probably will for at least a couple months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Currently battling depression for half my life now and several times I've attempted suicide however one memory sticks out the most when I get so close to convincing myself to do something. I had just moved in with my Father for a few months when under a bunch of emotional pressure (My mother, sister and cats had just moved 90 miles away and I was missing them greatly), school pressure (I was struggling with attendance, being bullied, work, homework, exam pressure) and other things I've forgotten at this moment, I remember bursting into tears in front of him and telling him how much I wanted to die to end the pain and so he took probably the biggest risk any parent could take and wen't into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife we had and put it in my hands and said "If you really wan't to die then I can't stop you, but if you are going to take your life then you have to look me in the eyes whils't you do it". Even writing this now I can feel the emotions swelling up from within as I can still feel holding the knife in my hands and wanting so badly to thrust it into my chest and end it but something was stopping me as I saw the fear and sadness in his eyes that I dropped the knife and cried even more. My Father still tells me to this day that it was the biggest risk he took as he was convinced he was going to lose me and he was going to be responsible. That memory is burned into me and thankfully it helps me to keep going. Unless you've been to the point where you are utterly convinced that suicide is your only solution then you have NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO JUDGE PEOPLE ON IT! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 2 hours ago, Kinharia said: I remember bursting into tears in front of him and telling him how much I wanted to die to end the pain and so he took probably the biggest risk any parent could take and wen't into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife we had and put it in my hands and said "If you really wan't to die then I can't stop you, but if you are going to take your life then you have to look me in the eyes whils't you do it". Even writing this now I can feel the emotions swelling up from within as I can still feel holding the knife in my hands and wanting so badly to thrust it into my chest and end it but something was stopping me as I saw the fear and sadness in his eyes that I dropped the knife and cried even more. Dude, your dad is fucking hardcore <3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 3 hours ago, Kinharia said: Currently battling depression for half my life now and several times I've attempted suicide however one memory sticks out the most when I get so close to convincing myself to do something. I had just moved in with my Father for a few months when under a bunch of emotional pressure (My mother, sister and cats had just moved 90 miles away and I was missing them greatly), school pressure (I was struggling with attendance, being bullied, work, homework, exam pressure) and other things I've forgotten at this moment, I remember bursting into tears in front of him and telling him how much I wanted to die to end the pain and so he took probably the biggest risk any parent could take and wen't into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife we had and put it in my hands and said "If you really wan't to die then I can't stop you, but if you are going to take your life then you have to look me in the eyes whils't you do it". Even writing this now I can feel the emotions swelling up from within as I can still feel holding the knife in my hands and wanting so badly to thrust it into my chest and end it but something was stopping me as I saw the fear and sadness in his eyes that I dropped the knife and cried even more. My Father still tells me to this day that it was the biggest risk he took as he was convinced he was going to lose me and he was going to be responsible. That memory is burned into me and thankfully it helps me to keep going. Unless you've been to the point where you are utterly convinced that suicide is your only solution then you have NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO JUDGE PEOPLE ON IT! I'm glad it worked out. That's really intense. By any chance does your dad like to gamble? Because that was a pretty big risk there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 1 hour ago, #00Buck said: I'm glad it worked out. That's really intense. By any chance does your dad like to gamble? Because that was a pretty big risk there. He's not a gambler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Just now, Kinharia said: He's not a gambler Are you a gambler? We should play poker some time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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