I think my anxiety's getting worse

[FlynnCoyote]

So I made a mistake at work today, just before we closed up. It's gonna set us back a day on that particular project since now more material needs to be ordered in. It wasn't a huge error, it wasn't overly expensive and we have time to spare. But after all was done the solution was simple. It shouldn't have been scary, but it was.

As soon as the first hint of the problem started I just panicked. My mind froze and I did the wrong thing and ended up destroying the laminate I was laying up on a shelf. Nobody was overly upset, the boss just resolved to order another sheet of laminate to arrive in a couple days so we could finish it. Even so, as we closed up the factory I was shaking and my breathing was rough. I don't know if anybody noticed but nobody spoke up. I was shaking the whole drive home, took a shower and managed to calm down.

Did get some rational thought in for a while, but I'm starting to shake again as I type this up. I haven;t made a mistake at work in months, not even a small one. Everything has been fine. All the anxiety attacks I seem to experience regularly are usually over nothing and usually fade pretty fast. This one was much bigger even though I managed to hide it from others (I think?), unlike previous instances it has an act it can be tied to. My biggest worry about it at this time is that it could lead to this sort of panic every time I make a mistake, which could lead to a cycle of paranoia and just generally make work more difficult for me.

Anyone else had this problem? How do you deal with it?

[Gamedog]

I used to have this problem, but I don't any longer. I know it sounds shitty and callous but the quotes "don't sweat the small stuff" and "don't worry about shit you can't change" have really helped me.

What's done is done, there's nothing else to be done, it's time to move on. You admit that this wasn't a huge error, wasn't expensive, and was reversible, so why worry about it? Mistakes happen, we aren't robots, and we're going to fuck up in our lives. It's best to accept this, own up to mistakes and apologize if you make another mistake again.

 

I assume you're in the service industry? Is this a shelving job you were doing? Just apologize to the customer for the delay, say that there was a bit of a hang-up, and that you will be finishing it.

[FlynnCoyote]

14 minutes ago, Gamedog said:

I assume you're in the service industry? Is this a shelving job you were doing? Just apologize to the customer for the delay, say that there was a bit of a hang-up, and that you will be finishing it.

I'm in construction. This was a manufacturing slip up.

15 minutes ago, Gamedog said:

What's done is done, there's nothing else to be done, it's time to move on. You admit that this wasn't a huge error, wasn't expensive, and was reversible, so why worry about it? Mistakes happen, we aren't robots, and we're going to fuck up in our lives. It's best to accept this, own up to mistakes and apologize if you make another mistake again.

I try to remind myself of this but it just doesn't feel like it's true when I get like this. Hindsight always makes it apparent but it just isn't a viable way to cope when I'm there.

[Gamedog]

You gotta stop yourself before you start the cycle of panic. If you do make a mistake again, don't panic about it. Instead, think rationally and think about how you can rectify the situation

talk to yourself out loud if you can. Admit you made the mistake and tell someone. Keeping it inside makes it 100% worse, even talking out loud can keep you from spiraling downward 

 

I am on mobile ATM but o hope what I'm saying makes sense. I grew up with an anxiety disorder. Have you researched square breathing?

[MissFleece]

So I have p bad anxiety right? And when I start having a panic attack I cry. What I try to do is disrupt the chain of thoughts that is making me panic, try to steady my breathing, assess what is making me panic, and either eject myself from the area, or rationalize what's happening. The last one is very difficult sometimes, but it helps to focus on other people's reactions. Are they freaking out? Are they mad? If I cant tell, I ask. 

"Oh man, this is a problem."

They'll respond either reassuring me that I didnt cause damage, or solidify that I messed up. Once I calm down, I can work on fixing the problem if the stressor is no longer there and apologize. If the stressor is still there and there is no way for me to try to fix the problem without panicking again, I inform someone I trust and ask them to help. 

It helps if you have a few people that understand you have an anxiety disorder.

Also, I recently learned a new thing and thought you could use it too.

 

[Fantasma]

I don't really have advice beyond what others have said, I simply woshed to say I'm sorry you have to live with that.

The worst anxiety I get is I feel like I cannot breathe at all, and the main time I get it is in multi person bathrooms of my gender since I am trans.

 

As I have learned recently with Disassciative Identity Disorder and whatever else I may have is you have to nip these things in the bud. They become a beast of their own given time.

[#00Buck]

So the person who always complains about other people made a mistake and freaked out?

Not being perfect kinda sucks when you're so critical of other people. 

[Strongbob]

Anxiety is a hard thing to deal with, but let me give you some advice from the boss's perspective that will hopefully make things easier.  I'm presuming that a lot of your anxiety was derived from making the mistake and then having to tell your boss that you made a mistake.  So here's the deal, if you have a good boss, he's already functioning under the presumption that you or someone else is going to make a mistake and has already factored that into the project.  As a boss I don't really care that someone fucked up, presuming it was not malicious.  All I really care is that you tell me about it right away so I can do something about it.  I don't want a huge deposition about the situation either, all I want to know is what the problem is, how it happened, and if you have any ideas about solving the problem, and I'd prefer you gave me this information with as few words as possible. Mistakes happen, good bosses can deal with it, just give me the information I need to deal with it in a timely manner and try not to do it again.  That's all I really care about as a boss.  So if you look at this from the bosses perspective mistakes shouldn't generally be a cause for anxiety in your employees, otherwise I'm doing something wrong.  

[Toshabi]

With me, I just think about how stupid and retarded those airplane fetish people are and everything gets 9000% better.

[Fossa]

Listening to Brian Eno & David Byrne's, 'Mea Culpa' always helps.

 

 

[Osrik]

I get this way at times with my classwork and papers, I'll dwell on a mistake or how soon an assignment is do, and will begin to panic and extrapolate the failure into having wider meaning for my studies and my life.

Just last week, I had some trouble completing a paper, and reached a point where I had convinced myself that my failure to complete the assignment would mean I would have to drop the class and leave the graduate program. I was able to get over this and finish the paper, but I was completely paralyzed for a few hours.

Really, the only advice I have is to stay positive and rational, as it will only get progressively worse if you let it get to you at all.

[FlynnCoyote]

6 hours ago, #00Buck said:

So the person who always complains about other people made a mistake and freaked out?

And the person everyone thinks is better has stooped to the low road? What a turn. I have never and would never knowingly hold someone's mental or emotional problems against them while gloating, even if I didn't like them. It's a good thing I don't actually give a fuck what you think anymore.

Thanks to everyone else who offered something constructive.

 

[#00Buck]

19 minutes ago, FlynnCoyote said:

And the person everyone thinks is better has stooped to the low road? What a turn. I have never and would never knowingly hold someone's mental or emotional problems against them while gloating, even if I didn't like them. It's a good thing I don't actually give a fuck what you think anymore.

Thanks to everyone else who offered something constructive.

 

Unpopular on the forum and unpopular on the construction site for the same reason. 

If you feel anxious about people not liking you maybe you should be a nicer person?

[Mapa]

2 hours ago, Osrik said:

I get this way at times with my classwork and papers, I'll dwell on a mistake or how soon an assignment is do, and will begin to panic and extrapolate the failure into having wider meaning for my studies and my life.

Just last week, I had some trouble completing a paper, and reached a point where I had convinced myself that my failure to complete the assignment would mean I would have to drop the class and leave the graduate program. I was able to get over this and finish the paper, but I was completely paralyzed for a few hours.

Really, the only advice I have is to stay positive and rational, as it will only get progressively worse if you let it get to you at all.

Christ, I've been like this for the last few weeks, having only really snapped out of it yesterday. Now I'm scrambling to get a bunch of work made up, hoping to god I don't have to explain to anyone what the hell happened because I'm honestly not too sure myself.

I agree with the others, I think it would be best to try and maintain a level head while you're still stable enough to reason about the situation. Otherwise, you'll just start spiraling.

[FlynnCoyote]

17 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Unpopular on the forum and unpopular on the construction site for the same reason. 

If you feel anxious about people not liking you maybe you should be a nicer person?

Dude? We all get along fantastic at work. Half my problem is dickheads like you making assumptions about my whole life based on a few negative encounters they've had with me. Didn't you read? The only person freaking out about my mistake yesterday was me. Nobody else was bothered. Not even the boss. 

Fuck off. 

[evan]

what i usually do is even if i can't stop myself from panicking, i will immediately start doing something. i used to get into this habit where i would see myself failing, become ingrained in the idea that something is permanently wrong, and then drop everything else i was doing for the rest of the day. this didn't work and created a hole i had to dig out of.

 

if you try to focus on continuing without letting your inner emotions decide what you do, they become less destructive.

 

just my two cents, hope it helps

[#00Buck]

44 minutes ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Dude? We all get along fantastic at work. Half my problem is dickheads like you making assumptions about my whole life based on a few negative encounters they've had with me. Didn't you read? The only person freaking out about my mistake yesterday was me. Nobody else was bothered. Not even the boss. 

Fuck off. 

I'll just remind you of the title and content of your last thread. You know. The one called "My Personality Sucks."

The one in which most people seem to agree with your thread title. 

I'm not making assumptions about your whole life. You're the one who posts up about how bad it is. 

Maybe nobody bothered because everyone at work likes you.

Or maybe nobody bothered because they know talking with you about it is pointless.

[Mapa]

Could you guys maybe chill? This thread is about coping with anxiety and stress, not how much of a douche Flynn is.

[#00Buck]

3 minutes ago, pothocket said:

Could you guys maybe chill? This thread is about coping with anxiety and stress, not how much of a douche Flynn is.

Maybe there's a cause and effect relationship resulting in anxiety and stress?

Just a theory. 

[Mapa]

3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Maybe there's a cause and effect relationship resulting in anxiety and stress?

Just a theory. 

Perhaps you did have a point to make. The smug overtone was completely unnecessary though.

[Feelwell]

4 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Maybe there's a cause and effect relationship resulting in anxiety and stress?

Just a theory. 

Yea but picking it apart isn't helping anything. Its not a contest to see if he's guilty of being a dickhead or not.

[Silo]

5 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Maybe there's a cause and effect relationship resulting in anxiety and stress?

Just a theory. 

This is a pointless battle, Buck.

I'm sure he has other things to worry about.

[#00Buck]

4 minutes ago, Silo said:

This is a pointless battle, Buck.

I'm sure he has other things to worry about.

Yeah, like stress and anxiety. 

If only they could figure out the cause of that stress and anxiety they would have nothing to worry about. 

5 minutes ago, pothocket said:

Perhaps you did have a point to make. The smug overtone was completely unnecessary though.

There is no perhaps. I've made my point and it makes perfect sense. 

5 minutes ago, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Yea but picking it apart isn't helping anything. Its not a contest to see if he's guilty of being a dickhead or not.

No contest at all. 

[Silo]

3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Yeah, like stress and anxiety. 

If only they could figure out the cause of that stress and anxiety they would have nothing to worry about.

Exactly that.

Though, attacking someone will not have the same result as giving tiny hints and advice about the their issue.

Baby steps.

[Feelwell]

5 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Yeah, like stress and anxiety. 

If only they could figure out the cause of that stress and anxiety they would have nothing to worry about.

Then posts in that direction, clearly, unambiguously would be helpful. Its just the way you sound makes you seem antagonistic.

[Mapa]

3 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

There is no perhaps. I've made my point and it makes perfect sense. 

Then I have to ask, why did you bother posting here in the first place? You're clearly not too keen on helping him out, so it seems like you're just trying to start shit. There's really no need for that.

[#00Buck]

Just now, Silo said:

Exactly that.

Though, attacking someone will not have the same result as giving tiny hints and advice about the their issue.

Baby steps.

 

Just now, Feelwell the Rabbit said:

Then posts in that direction, clearly, unambiguously would be helpful. Its just the way you sound makes you seem antagonistic.

 

Just now, pothocket said:

Then I have to ask, why did you bother posting here in the first place? You're clearly not too keen on helping him out, so it seems like you're just trying to start shit. There's really no need for that.

There are no baby steps. Also there is no ambiguity. 

It's abundantly clear what will make their life better. 

I posted to point out the possible cause of their anxiety.

[Zaraphayx]

The cult of aesthetics is out in full force today I see. :^)

[#00Buck]

8 minutes ago, Zaraphayx said:

The cult of aesthetics is out in full force today I see. :^)

Preach on gay dog monster. 

[Zaraphayx]

6 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

Preach on gay dog monster. 

I'm gay.

[#00Buck]

1 minute ago, Zaraphayx said:

I'm gay.

Being honest about yourself is a good way to avoid stress and anxiety. 

Doing the opposite only increases both. 

[Fantasma]

@#00Buck

Maybe try not being a giant dick yourself? 

Like, none of what you said was posted constructively, you pretty much just wanted to kick him while he is down and say "Take it and like it and maybe you'd be a better person." Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

 

@FlynnCoyote

Consciously using breathing techniques can be used to at the very least delay the panic attack until you are done with your task and can safely scream it out in the bathroom~

[Falaffel]

Ah fuck.
I have pretty bad anxiety attacks about the same thing. I'm starting to get over them now by... well... simply seeing things another way, I suppose?

When I fuck up, I tend to no longer dwell on what ifs and what others may think of me. I've realized, as my life goes on, that we all make mistakes and we're allowed that. If I do something wrong, I make it up if can be. Otherwise, I move on. My mental state should be held above all else to me because that is what dictates my happiness. I want to be happy. That's what I think life is about. 

I know telling you "think a different way" may not help, we're all different and change is hard, but that's how I got over mine (mostly).

I wouldn't wish anxiety attacks on the worst of people. 

11 hours ago, #00Buck said:

So the person who always complains about other people made a mistake and freaked out?

Not being perfect kinda sucks when you're so critical of other people. 

shut up, nerd, lmao. 

Your lack of tact is astounding. Leave, please and thank you :3

[#00Buck]

1 hour ago, Johanna Waya said:

@#00Buck

Maybe try not being a giant dick yourself? 

Like, none of what you said was posted constructively, you pretty much just wanted to kick him while he is down and say "Take it and like it and maybe you'd be a better person." Chill. The. Fuck. Out.

If I wanted to kick him when he was down I'd be far more insulting and mean about it. 

57 minutes ago, Falaffel said:

shut up, nerd, lmao. 

Your lack of tact is astounding. Leave, please and thank you :3

No.

[Falaffel]

38 minutes ago, #00Buck said:

No.

Well.
no harm in trying, i guess.

[FlynnCoyote]

14 hours ago, Fossa-Boy said:

Listening to Brian Eno & David Byrne's, 'Mea Culpa' always helps.

 

 

I've come to prefer The Light by Disturbed. But you are right that music can help a lot too.

9 hours ago, #00Buck said:

Yeah, like stress and anxiety. 

If only they could figure out the cause of that stress and anxiety they would have nothing to worry about. 

Let me say this again Buck, since I've said it before and nobody listened. I KNOW the cause of my stress and anxiety. I've discussed it at length with my therapist. You are pissy with me because I'm not taking YOUR advice, but taking into account factors I have no obligation to share with you, I can assure you that your advice is simply not applicable to me in the way you suggest it. Accept that. I am not going to fix myself using your method.

9 hours ago, #00Buck said:

There is no perhaps. I've made my point and it makes perfect sense. 

Only to your clueless self.

8 hours ago, #00Buck said:

Being honest about yourself is a good way to avoid stress and anxiety. 

Doing the opposite only increases both. 

Being honest is exactly what I have been doing this whole fucking time. My personality is pretty damn abrasive remember? And I honestly wish you would respect the fact that you have nothing to offer me and back the fuck off. Please.

6 hours ago, Johanna Waya said:

Consciously using breathing techniques can be used to at the very least delay the panic attack until you are done with your task and can safely scream it out in the bathroom~

I do have breathing exercises but they aren't all that helpful in some instances and I can still be flipping out for ten to fifteen minutes at a time. My real muse is throwing myself into something creative or constructive to put my mind in a better place as quickly as possible.

Incidentally, I have been able to surmise that this was probably the cause of my break yesterday. In the middle of the workday, I can just push myself harder through more work. At home, I can draw, write, paint, whatever. At the end of the work day there was no more work I could do and all my art gear was a forty minute drive away. So really I was in the worst spot. Gave me something to think about though, and I'm contemplating getting an ipad or something with a stylus so I can draw at work or just after work if I need to. Even something as simple as a sketchpad and pencils might help.