aeroxwolf Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 It finally happened. After months of good health and high spirits, one of my friends has infected me with the common cold. What an asshole! I hate getting colds because there's nothing you can do, except drink hot lemon flavoured water and let it run its course. I hate getting food poisoning, I hate getting fevers, but I hate cold more.Here's why: 1) Un-cool runningsHave you ever tried reading a book, playing a video game, watching a movie or working with a runny nose? Its perhaps the most frustrating thing ever. Just as you start to enjoy yourself, your nose decides "hehe, I'm gonna fuck up your day" and begins to drip like a nun taking communion. Completely killing any enjoyment you have, as you proceed to wipe your nose again and again and again. Its like torture. Forget extreme interrogation methods. Just give your enemies a cold, tie their hands, place a box of tissues in front of them and watch them break.2) Its not what it looks likeThe tissues. The god-damn tissues! I must go through a pack a day. Maybe more. My paper bin is now full of soggy tissues. FROM MY COLD. Try explaining that to your friends when they come visit you. I tried, but....maturity.3) Slow night, so longPerforming daily activities while your immune system battles a cold can really drain the energy out of you. So you go to bed to get a good nights rest. lol. Only to have your nasal cavity swell up as soon as your head hits the pillow. "Sleeping on your right hand side? Allow me to flood your right nostril with mucus". Great! Now I got to blow my nose every 5 minutes so my pillow doesn't get wet. "what's this? Your sleeping on your left now? Alrighty. I'll just fill you left nostril with mucus instead. What do you think of that?". It's impossible to get any rest, as you try your hardest to breathe through your mouth, only for it to become dry within minutes. Waking up with sandpaper mouth and a wet pillow isn't a pleasant experience either.4) Deep throatAs if your inability to breathe through your nose wasn't bad enough. Now it becomes impossible to swallow or talk without your throat being in agonizing pain. Its as if someone came in the night and pulled a Peter North on me, while I was sleeping with my mouth open. It hurts to drink, its hurts eat, it hurts to call my friend (who gave me the cold) an asshole. It just fucking hurts.5) Nice catch, broI had an unholy amount of sneezes in work today. If a sneeze is truly 1/8 of an organism, then I must have creamed myself at least twice today. One sneeze in particular stood out from the rest. Lets just say I was on the receiving end of this climax. I just threw a used tissue in the bin, when I felt another sneeze coming on. It caught me off guard, so I covered my mouth with my bare hands and tried to hold it in...only for an 8 roper of mucus to shoot all over my hands and face. luckily, I was the only one in the office at the time. I had to make a dash for the bathroom and wash my fucking hands and face like a college girl who thought she was brave by playing truth or dare. Fuck this cold! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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