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Rant: I hate colds


aeroxwolf
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It finally happened. After months of good health and high spirits, one of my friends has infected me with the common cold. What an asshole! I hate getting colds because there's nothing you can do, except drink hot lemon flavoured water and let it run its course. I hate getting food poisoning, I hate getting fevers, but I hate cold more.

Here's why: 

1) Un-cool runnings

Have you ever tried reading a book, playing a video game, watching a movie or working with a runny nose? Its perhaps the most frustrating thing ever. Just as you start to enjoy yourself, your nose decides "hehe, I'm gonna fuck up your day" and begins to drip like a nun taking communion. Completely killing any enjoyment you have, as you proceed to wipe your nose again and again and again. Its like torture. Forget extreme interrogation methods. Just give your enemies a cold, tie their hands, place a box of tissues in front of them and watch them break.

2) Its not what it looks like

The tissues. The god-damn tissues! I must go through a pack a day. Maybe more. My paper bin is now full of soggy tissues. FROM MY COLD. Try explaining that to your friends when they come visit you. I tried, but....maturity.

3) Slow night, so long

Performing daily activities while your immune system battles a cold can really drain the energy out of you. So you go to bed to get a good nights rest. lol. Only to have your nasal cavity swell up as soon as your head hits the pillow. "Sleeping on your right hand side? Allow me to flood your right nostril with mucus". Great! Now I got to blow my nose every 5 minutes so my pillow doesn't get wet. "what's this? Your sleeping on your left now? Alrighty. I'll just fill you left nostril with mucus instead. What do you think of that?". It's  impossible to get any rest, as you try your hardest to breathe through your mouth, only for it to become dry within minutes. Waking up with sandpaper mouth and a wet pillow isn't a pleasant experience either.

4) Deep throat

As if your inability to breathe through your nose wasn't bad enough. Now it becomes impossible to swallow or talk without your throat being in agonizing pain. Its as if someone came in the night and pulled a Peter North on me, while I was sleeping with my mouth open. It hurts to drink, its hurts eat, it hurts to call my friend (who gave me the cold) an asshole. It just fucking hurts.

5) Nice catch, bro

I had an unholy amount of sneezes in work today. If a sneeze is truly 1/8 of an organism, then I must have creamed myself at least twice today. One sneeze in particular stood out from the rest. Lets just say I was on the receiving end of this climax. I just threw a used tissue in the bin, when I felt another sneeze coming on. It caught me off guard, so I covered my mouth with my bare hands and tried to hold it in...only for an 8 roper of mucus to shoot all over my hands and face. luckily, I was the only one in the office at the time. I had to make a dash for the bathroom and wash my fucking hands and face like a college girl who thought she was brave by playing truth or dare. 

Fuck this cold!

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Try catching a cold right as you embark on a week long roadtrip. That's what happened to me. Luckily, Zicam and generic symptom pills from CVS helped me through the trip so I didn't feel like shit the whole time. Seriously, you should try Zicam, unless it is unavailable in the UK.

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Colds are terrible.  Especially when they're bad enough to be noticed but not bad enough to warrant getting a day off. Some people in my school managed to spread a cold they caught in Belgium all around the school. Runny nose, sore throat and a mild headache...

 

Thanks Belgium >:V

Edited by CrazyTundraWolf
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Colds are terrible.  Especially when they're bad enough to be noticed but not bad enough to warrant getting a day off. Some people in my school managed to spread a cold they caught in Belgium all around the school. Runny nose, sore throat and a mild headache...

 

Thanks Belgium >:V

Eh, life sucks. I would make a joke about Belgium right now, but I don't want to lose my first half-sort-of-friend I made on this forum that happens to be Belgian after like, an hour already lol. It'd turn the NL-BE brotherlove into a brotherfight, so yeah, lets not.

G'luck with your cold, if you drink enough tea, it should feel better, works for me at least.

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Hang in there.

The worst part for me is the worn out feeling that comes with it, or how tired and easily I get tired with a cold. It makes the most mundane, ordinary simple tasks feel like monumental undertakings and career defining projects.

The left nostril, right nostril nonsense is best helped when I prop myself up in a sitting position to sleep. It does however force that nasal drainage into my chest and cause deep coughing until it is properly purged.

Hot tea with honey helps with the shredded feeling in the throat though.

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