DrGravitas Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 You've been captured by The Villain and now they're forcing you to make a choice between two awful things or else The Villain Wins! After choosing you play The Villain to the next Hapless Hero! (Evil laughing optional) Ex. Poster 1: Eat a 1000 bugs or eat your favorite animal! Poster 2: Bletch! My favorite animal I guess D: Nuke Paris or Nuke Rome! And so forth. Let's begin! Shoot a dog or shoot yourself in both legs! MWAHAHA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 I am a dog so I shoot myself in the two legs The Villainous Hux demands that you either rip off your toe nails with needle nosed pliers or watch a Caitlyn Jenner musical porno ft. Ron Jeremy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosha Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 The porn, I can mute it and not be in as much pain. Save the girl or save the world? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osrik Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 The world, I am unsure of who this "girl" is or of what importance she is supposed to hold... Join the villain and forsake all you stand for, or stand helpless as the villain destroys the person/whatever you hold dearest? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 Tough choice. But, I guess I'd rather stand helpless by. Burn down a Library or wipe out species of insects unique to an specific island? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Easy, burn down the library. They're replaceable and largely irrelevant since the advent of Wikipedia. An innocent child is stuck in a cage with a rampaging gorilla. Do you open the cage and try to deal with the gorilla and save the child, or play it safe and leave them in there to sort it out between themselves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 How much money do the kids parents have, and how generous are they? If they're loaded, and gimmie a pile of cash, sure, I'd see what I could do. If not, I'd pretend I didn't see a thing... Press a button causing 1 random US state to simply vanish forever, with you then collecting limitless wealth, or press a button causing California to have a huge earthquake, and drift out into the sea, neatly along its borders, like a piece in a puzzle, and have everyone miraculously live. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Bye Cali!! I don't want to accidentally make someone I care about disappear Save the princess, or save the dragon? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Dragon. Eat a bowl of glass shards or a bowl of live spiders (no pre-killing allowed)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Is this some fear factor or some shit? Yargh, I'll choose the spiders. At least they won't kill me by horrible ripping my gut and belly from the inside and I am pretty sure there's an antidote for any potential venom they might carry Putting the most important person in your life to a death match in a Colosseum type arena armed with nothing but a wooden club against either one horse sized duck or 1000 duck sized horses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Is this fear factor or some shit? Yargh, I'll choose the spiders. At least they won't kill me by horrible ripping my gut and belly from the inside and I am pretty sure there's an antidote for any potential venom they might carry Putting the most important person in your life to a death match in a Colosseum type arena armed with nothing but a wooden club against either one horse sized duck or 1000 duck sized horses Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 One horse sized duck, it would be much more even of a match. Let Chase look over your pets while you vacation or take along the entire FA staff with you on vacation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 3 hours ago, LazerMaster5 said: One horse sized duck, it would be much more even of a match. Let Chase look over your pets while you vacation or take along the entire FA staff with you on vacation? Who's Chase? A dog-fucker, I assume? I think I'd rather take the fa staff on vacation. I could ditch them somewhere on Route 66. You can snort fire ants or have a guest use your restroom. Both seem equally horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazerMaster5 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I destroy you with the gay plague AIDS and then the chain mechanism locks up, buying me time to save my family. Checkm8 Would you rather have your gaming rig locked to play only UbiSoft games or only early access Steam games? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Oh easy, Steam early-access. My rig's a Mac. Besides, Indie is where all the creativity went. Would you rather be the first genuinely pregnant man and famous, or leave the agony of childbirth to your partner? (Women, imagine you're a man.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 18 hours ago, Faust said: Would you rather be the first genuinely pregnant man and famous, or leave the agony of childbirth to your partner? (Women, imagine you're a man.) Since my mate is also male, he can have the baby, and we can share the money. Oh, and a certain 'Uncle Faust' should be prepared for a LOT of baby-sitting. ~ Serve a 10 year sentence at a prison where all the inmates are fursuited with you as a rabbit, or give up all internet and video games for life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 D8 Let's go with the rabbit suit. Might not be so bad... plenty of time to learn how to draw or something. Shoot Hitler before he rises to power or the same for Stalin. The one you don't choose uses the power vacuum to become twice as monstrous and powerful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'll shoot Hitler because Stalin was more of an isolationist, at least in the beginning unlike Hitler who was imperialistic expansionist and a racist Would you rather terminate all of your video game save files or play all of your video games at 15 FPS for a whole year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'll play all my games at 15 FPS bitchhh, I've already beaten two RPGs with them running at that! Would you rather lock yourself in a room of mirrors for 2 years (with all the amenities provided), or go around the world like it's 1552 (IE, wooden boats and on foot only)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Oh wow, going around the world 1552-style sounds pretty fun! By the way, they had horse-drawn carriages as early as the 1400's so they'd be allowed too. I'm doing that, assuming that I'll still have my job when I get back, all expenses are paid and I have plenty of vitamin C so I won't get scurvy. Otherwise I'll take the house of mirrors. Ok mwahahah, my turn again! I have chained you into that chair with only one arm free and the person you most care about is tied up opposite, likewise chained into a chair. The chairs are welded to the floor and completely immovable. You will find that the chains are also quite impossible to remove without the key. In front of you are three ropes and a pair of blunt scissors. You may cut any rope you wish. The rope on the left is connected to a massive heavy weight suspended above your loved one's head. Cut that rope and he/she/it will most certainly die. Of the other two ropes, one is connected to a massive heavy weight suspended above your own head. The final rope is connected only to a massive basket of confetti. I will not tell you which is which. Once any rope is cut, the locks on both chairs will be released. Now, you could cut the left rope knowing that you will survive but your loved one will most certainly perish. Alternatively you could cut one of the other ropes - your loved one will certainly survive, but you have a 50/50 chance of certain death. CHOOSE! Mwahahahaaaaaaaa! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I'll go with the 50/50 chance, and cut one of the other ropes. Plus, I may be able to flee in time, before I'm smashed. Us Fossas are fast, you diabolical bat! OK, you must choose: Before you, are three buttons. The red one will kill all male humans on earth, and none shall ever exist again, including yourself, if male. The blue one will kill all female humans on earth, and none shall ever exist again, including yourself, if female. The orange one will kill all humans, period: male, female, transgendered. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Orange because it maximizes the amount of food a coyote such as myself would get. You are tied to a chair and forced to watch TV for 24 hours. Would you rather watch your favorite series only poorly acted and written in a manner highly contradictory to the series' established canon, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 I for one welcome the chance to watch a poorly acted Hogan's Heroes where the prisoners are all incompetent mass murderers while the Nazi camp guards and Coln. Klink are hypercompetent, foiling all their hijinks. Nobody escapes Stalagh 13! And nobody wants to, when the alternative is the Kardashians. Blow up the Three Gorges Dam or cause 'The Big One' (massive earthquake) in California near San Francisco. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Cause the big one. Fuck San Francisco Beat up an old lady, or beat up a puppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Can I beat up an old lady USING a puppy? Oh OK then, the puppy. Puppies can't sue. You can either cut off your own little finger with the nice sterilised knife provided and no anaesthetic, or my big friend Ivan will cut off your whole hand with a rusty hacksaw and local anaesthetic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyTundraWolf Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think I'll go with cutting off my own little finger, I'd rather feel a lot a bit of pain with no other consequences than risk getting some disease that will make my arm fall off or something. Throw a family of rabbits into a pit of boiling tar or roast a man alive in a suit of metal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augmented Husky Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Rabbits are aaaaaalways in over population so a family won't be much consequence in my mind Ye shall either eat one whole ghost pepper with no liquids of any sort.......orrrrrr run around your neighborhood naked for a half hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I'll do the second one. In this crazy city, it might not even get noticed, and who knows, maybe I'd make some new friends, even...whereas after a bad experience with biting into just a habanero, raw, thinking it was a miniature sweet pepper, I have a fear of overly hot peppers. Spend a year as a stray dog, living on the streets, or a year as a stray alley-cat? (both feral) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Even though I like dogs, I would still choose a cat because people wouldn't so easily assume I am aggressive and dangerous. Besides, the small size, cuteness factor and added flexibility would really come in handy on the streets Play a same for one week in a row without ever getting off an uncomfortable chair for the duration of the "challenge" (sleeping, drinking, eating and pissing in a bottle allowed) or play one random game by Jigsaw. You know how those are, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Play a game for one week. I would pick something like WoW or Skyrim so I wouldn't get as bored. At least it beats permanent bodily damage. Every song you listen to has its lyrics replaced with those from the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth, or every time you think about intercourse, the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth pops into your head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 Presumably I can ignore the song that pops into my head. After a while I'm sure it will just become background noise in my head. A man with a flamethrower will torch 3 orphanages and a Children's Hospital or a nuclear bomber will nuke the entire Amazon Rainforest. You can only stop one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 The entire Amazon rainforest contains far more humans than 3 orphanages, and at least the kids in the children's hospital were already sick. I'm stopping the bomber. Besides, there's every chance that a lucky member of staff will get the drop on one man wielding what is essentially a very inefficient, short-range weapon designed mostly for property damage and terror tactics, and even if they don't they'll almost certainly be able to evacuate some of the kids before it all burns down. Meanwhile, good luck to the Amazonian tribes folk trying to take down a B42 with a blowdart and some well-trained giraffes. You can either: Kill Hitler, and deal with the possibility that history will be rewritten without you in it, or... Kill a modern-day upcoming dictator and never know if he would actually have been a nice person in the end. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I'd kill a modern-day upcoming dictator...there's even one in Washington, DC, that comes to mind. Though it would to nice to have saved so many people from Hitler, I'd be wary what ripple effects rewriting so much of history would have. Use skunk musk as deodorant for a month, applying it liberally each day or Stop bathing for a year: no showers, spongebaths, baths, swimming, nada...and when it rains, you'll be wearing a raincoat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Skunk musk, I'd likely get used to it. Walk 100 meters over lego barefoot or walk 25 meters over many upturned UK mains plugs, again barefoot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Legos ain't shit compared to walking barefoot on hot asphalt during the summer. Visibly shit yourself while walking down the aisle during your crowded wedding ceremony, or accidentally text your parents your nudes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted January 30, 2017 Author Share Posted January 30, 2017 D8 The horror! I guess I'll have to go with accidentally texting my nudes to my parents. They'd probably get a laugh out of it, but the embarrassment would at least be minimized and not captured forever in the minds of many. Cut off your nose or gouge out your left eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Oh definitely the nose. I mean look at it, it already looks like it's been cut off, it wouldn't make much difference. Besides, you can still smell with no nose but you can't see through a missing eye. Would you rather: Be sent to a torture camp that a bright orange man with silly hair assures you is going to be built sometime soon or Go to hell, which a friendly gentleman with horns, goat legs and a trident assures you solemnly is actually quite fun? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 The hell one so I can poke bright orange man with pitchfork. Also probably going to hell anyway because is furry. I mean come on look at goat man, how u think he get here. Your choices are: 1. Sing a cringey furry version of "All Star" by Smash Mouth and have the video go viral. 2. Sing the regular version of "All Star" by Smash Mouth to only your close family members, but do so in a naked Shrek costume. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenrirDarkWolf Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 LET ME GO VIRAL BITCHHHHHH Eat 2 pizzas with JUST pineapple on it orrrrrrrr, drink realllly bad coffee that gives you diarrhea for the whole day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyranno Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Coffee Tear out a dog's throat with your teeth or let me kill 10,000 dogs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 The first one, and thank you for the free lunch! Now, I'm going to surgically alter your face. Who would you rather look like? You have a choice of Rolf Harris or Charles Manson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snagged Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 (edited) Charles because he is young and handsome. What kind of diabolical decision is that? Your local home residence is diseased with a deadly virus. Would you help an obviously evil dictator who will cure your disease if you help him or not vote at all so someone else will promise to cure everyone else but not you? Your vote is all that matters Edited February 1, 2017 by Snagged Cub Edited to be more diabolical Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 17 hours ago, Snagged Cub said: Charles because he is young and handsome. What kind of diabolical decision is that? The kind where you end up looking like either an ageing pedophile or an ageing mass-murdering lunatic? (Skip meh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Help dictator and backstab him. Backstabbing, the solution to life's problems! Two options: 1. For one week, the only words you may use are those found in the lyrics to "All Star" by Smash Mouth. 2. Once, while in the middle of a very important conversation, you will be compelled to begin singing the lyrics to "All Star" by Smash Mouth. You do not know when this will occur, and you cannot do anything to stop it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Number two because its more entertaining and less difficult to communicate You are forced either to proclaim to a whole audience of normies that you are a furry, or participate in a furry tea party @Vae -\_(=w=)_/- Revised Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyoko Hime-Sama Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 I'm not ashamed to come out and say I'm Furry! Besides, in my territory, one really knows about the bad rep Furries originally had or any of the other stuff that's not so sterling. So option 1 please! Now, unwitting hero! Hey, pay attention! I know I look fabulous in black but honestly! Ahem, the choice is in your hands and the furry world looks to you. 1. All fur cons will be banned and any attempts to hold one or furry gatherings of any kind will be treated as terrorist activity and punished accordingly. or 2. 100 random furries simply disappear from existence 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Can I choose both? Uh, I guess Option 1, because "100 random" still poses the risk (however small of a pool that is) of people that I like disappearing. Find out your SO was cheating on you with one of your parents or eat your pet?EDIT: @WolfNightV4X1 This is the PG-13 section. Leave the sexual shit out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augmented Husky Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Eat my pet.........its a stuffed fox so the fluff should make for a good fiber replacement Drive at a top speed of 15 mph for a week or Wear a "I Pooped today" when ever you out shirt for a week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zop Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 15 mph for a week. I live in a city so I'm stuck driving super slow anyway due to traffic. Use sandpaper as toilet paper for a week, or use toilet paper for a week-long sanding project. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Toilet paper for a week long sanding project. I may not make much progress, but my ass won't be sore. Live as a fur-suited raccoon (trash panda) in a dumpster behind a busy mall for a month, or live as a fur-suited raccoon the rest of your life, whenever in public, or with any other person/being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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