The Chaos RPG

[DrGravitas]

Welcome to the Chaos Plane, travellers! Things don't make much sense here sometimes, but duck banana pineapple.

There are only two rules in this RPG:

0. Everbody is both player and GM. [Players as GMs can perform actions with any character. Think of it more like collaborative story-writing with RPG-parody elements and Chaos!]

2. A post must Introduce something to the Chaos Plane and perform some Action in the Chaos Plane!

 

Examples of things for Introductions:

A Character - be sure make up some stats for them!

Item(s) - Be sure to give it stats (durability, shininess, special effects like soul stealing or crappy CGI) and maybe describe where it is or something.

A Game Rule - like "Introducing rule: All posters must use the word fox in their posts". 

A Location - Do please describe it!

Other crap you think of! It's Chaos!

 

Examples of Actions:

Use one or more of the things Introduced in posts above to perform some action, advance the story or make awful furpuns. Take care to follow the Game Rules Introduced!

Or don't! It's Chaos and things pop out of nowhere and disappear just as fastest. Actions can happen to things that don't exist in places that will only exist later according to rules that everyone else ignores!

 

 

LET'S PLAY

Introducing:

DrGravitas:  Level #☆》Traveller. Negative infinite health. Damages all non-self sanity within 300 lightyears every turn. A dark forest-green colored Anthropomorphic foxes-like creature.

Action: DrGravitas persists his exists in the Chaos Plane, awaiting the appearance of creation for study.

[Zop]

Zop: Lvl 2 Coyote

12 Str, 15 Dex, 18 Con, 4 Int, 4 Wis, 5 Cha (+1 Cha for being floofy)

Items: 5 silver pieces and an intergalactic roadkill

Action: I look for food

[DrGravitas]

Introducing:

Game Rule: A bite attack may be taken by creatures with a mouth, strength greater than 1/3 of the target to inflict 6 damage minus armor and protection.

Action: A flowering bush rustles around and a creature blooms from its petals.

 

[Zop]

Game Rule: Coyote r feersest predadurr and can maek 2 bite attacks in 1 turn

Action: I investigate the noble flower creature by making 2 bite attacks

[Caledonian]

Introducing a new character:

Wanderlust

Species: travelroo.

The travelroo is a breed of kangaroo that seems to exist only to travel. This particular one has a facination with scotland. +5 cha for being a charming foreigner. +3 wis for having traveled a lot.

Base stats unknown.

 

Action:

Wanderlust hops along

 

[Zop]

Game Rule: Upon meeting a new tasty individual, coyotes must make a Wisdom saving throw to avoid automatically trying to eat the target.

Action: i finish eating the noble flower person.

I roll to save against trying to eat the travelroo. I actually rolled a 19, and with my poor wisdom, it becomes 16. Wow so I actually don't eat the travelroo. I just kinda stand there and think coyote thoughts I guess.

[Faust]

Game Rule: anyone owning a copy of the Wraeththu RPG can earn a free re-roll by publicly burning it.

They can earn an automatic success on that roll by also burning the author.

[DrGravitas]

Introducing: Verdant Fields. A lovely landscape of rolling hills, red skies, fleshy plant creatures, coyotes eating them and many other strange creatures.

Action:  Wanderlust tames Zop, fashions a plant-beast saddle and begins to explore the Verdant Fields upon the back of their new companion.

 

[I forgot to explain it, but players as GMs can perform actions with any character. Think of it more like collaborative story-writing with RPG-parody elements and Chaos!]

[Zop]

Action: I carry Wanderlust around while mowing down various plant creatures and collecting their flowerw. We encounter a delicious-looking Elven merchant. I roll a 15 for my save, so we talk to the merchant. I trade the flowers for a healing potion.

[Faust]

Flowers are now the primary form of weaponry in the universe. There's razor sharp Gladioli for close-range fighting, goldgunrods for long-range warfare, explosive cocksbomb for those tricky encounters, vicious snapdragons and aga-panthers for pets, and of course venus caltrops.

[Eggdodger]

Game rule: You all meet in a tavern.

Action: What do you do?

[Faust]

Action: I scream 'Oh god not another bloody 'tavern start'!' and burn the place down.

Thus begins the career of the infamous Alcoholic Arsonist

[Caledonian]

Introducing a new character:

Lord Wynde-shierre

Species: steamsheep

 

Action:

The sheep flees from the burning tavern. His wool has caught fire.

 

[DrGravitas]

Introduction: Verdant Fields weather. Despite its tranquil appearance, Verdant Fields is home to some rather chaotic weather. Once per turn, roll a d6 to see if weather occures. On a 6, 3 or 12, weather occurs. Roll several d100 to determine the size, magnitude, effect, and geographical coordinate of the boundaries of a weather event. Then roll a d9 and if the value is 1-7, repeat for that many additional weather effects.

Action: Weather strikes the party! The burning tavern is buried in a blizzard,  Lord Wynde-Shierre is extinguisher by a magical, sentient rain cloud that seems intent on following them and feeding off their steam-exhaust. An angry sun swoops down in an attempt to kill the Alcoholic Arsonist, but his dodge roll succeeded and so the sun gives up and goes home.

It is now nightfall. The moon rises and begins screaming at the party.

[Faust]

New Rule: all statistics are now measured as complex numbers, where your statistic is the real portion of the number and your skill is the imaginary part. Your degree of success at any task is measured by the number of iterations through the Mandelbrot formula you must go before you escape from the set. Immediate escape counts as a critical success, recursion beyond the 256th iteration indicates a critical failure.

To facilitate this, all statistics are now floating point numbers between -2 and +1 while skills run from -1 to +1.

Oh, the Mandelbrot formula is Z(n+1) = Z(n) squared + C, where C is the original value.

p.s..... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[DrGravitas]

Introduction:

The Royal Zinc Spoon. An ancient artifact of a long-forgotten dynasty, this spoon was passed from ruler to ruler becoming the oldest symbol of power amongst many others. After the dynasty fell, it was fought over by splinter states and slowly outlasted all other symbols of power to become the ultimate symbol of the grand unifying Emperor! That Emperor sank into a swamp. A new ruler recovered the zinc spoon and rose to become Emperor! That Emperor also sank into a swamp. Many centuries of infighting later, a poor illiterate gator-farmer discovered the spoon and soon rose to become Emperor! That Emperor fell over, caught fire, and then sank into a swamp.

Action: The screaming moon yells the story of The Royal Zinc spoon at the party, throws a bouquet of roses at their feet/hooves/paws/tentacles and bids them to find the Royal Zinc Spoon. "Or else I'll ram my face into your lands until there's nothing left of 'em!" The moon warns.

[Zop]

Action: I begin asking around for information on the zinc spoon and the swamp it is located in. However it is still night. I go door-to-door through the down, waking people and asking them about the spoon legend. I also ask if I can take a peek in their fridge. I encounter an old blind woman who thinks I am her dog. I eat her dog food and raid her cupboards.

[DrGravitas]

Introduction: The Bog Marsh - An ugly, swampy land filled with ancient treasure, the undead, the redead, the red dead, and a dog food company factory.

Action:  A large bag of dog food falls over on top of Zop as he's eating and a mechanical voice from the bag beginning reading of ingredients, company branding, and ultimately the factory the bag was produced in. The factory address places it in The Desert of Zoot.

[Faust]

I guess we'd better have a Desert of Zoot then. It's a vast, sandy wasteland inhabited by surprisingly well-dressed nomads who, while extremely warlike, also have deep traditions of hospitality to strangers. By tribal law, no stranger may be killed until he's been treated to at least 3 hours of smooth jazz in the chieftain's tent. Weapons of choice is the throwing saxophone.

Chief exports are sand, sand castles, sandwiches, sand witches and of course the famous Zoot Suit (+3 protection vs. sand in the crotch)

[Zop]

Action: I begin carting the group to the Desert of Zoot. After what seems like weeks of travel (really only 5 minutes, that's how the portal I found worked), we arrive at the dogfood factory. It has been overtaken by space gnolls. What should we do?

[Caledonian]

Laird Wynde-shierre draws a steam powered raygun

Tesla rayguns: electic range weaponry powered by coal. Always to be connected to a steam boiler. Does 15 damage with a chance of stunning.

[Faust]

Uh oh, some of the space gnolls are wearing Ghillie suits made of straw and have high-powered sniper rifles. This makes them Grassy Gnolls, giving them a +5 damage against Presidents. Everybody make a U.S. Constitution saving throw!

 

[DrGravitas]

Introduction: Abraham Lincoln. Level 16 US President.

Former US President turned Dog Food magnate and current owner of this and other dog food factories throught The Chaos Planes. He chose not to dual-class, due to experience penalties. His spiffy hat adds +3 to persuasion when coupled with "The Decider" talent in the US President talent tree.

 

Action: Lincoln motions to the party, taking cover behind a conveyer belt. Introducing himself as the owner of this factory, he pleads with you to save him from the grassy gnolls! Sniper rounds wiz above the party's head.

Everybody fails their US Constitution Saving Throws and so Lincoln is hit for 12 damage, crippling his hat. He seems distraught at this.

[Zop]

Action: I put on my robe and wizard hat. I cast cone of shellfish at several of the gnolls for 33 damage, taking them out of combat. I accidentally hit Abraham Lincoln and he also takes 33 damage. He is up, but has several shrimps stuck in his beard.

[DrGravitas]

Introduction: Mana. All magic in this world (except the 57 kinds that don't) works off of mana. Mana being a kind of unleavened bread common in the diet of everyone and used in most food products, including dog food.

 

Action: A Gnoll Mage in the back of the facility notices the party wiping out its grassy snipers. He grabs a nearby can of dog food from it's package and downs it, Popeye style.

The gnoll swells with beefy magical powers which are quickly expelled on boxes and boxes of dog food. The dog food erupts from its containers and comes to form a massive figure: A dog-food golem! ...also shaped like Popeye.

Laird Wynde-shierre has now hooked up their steam raygun to the a boiler used for powering the factory. They shoot the Gnoll Wizard and the now-magically-empty creature is flash-fried to ashes. Popeye the dog-food man lumbers towards the party, flinging factory equiptment out of its way.

[Faust]

Introduction: alternative interpretation manna. It's fried kosher locusts. Not as popular. Most mages only use it for spells like 'Emetic Spray', 'Magic Projectile Vomit' and 'Bigby's Clenched Anus'.