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The weird ass dreams thread


Alexxx-Returns
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Probably the strangest one I've ever had dialoguewise:

 

So in my dream I walked up to the mailman and his truck and asked:

"Do you have any fucks to give?"

I peer into the back of his truck and see lots of folders and envelopes and letters nearly stacked in full rows

The mailman replies

"I have all these fucks to give, but none of them are for you"

 

 

True story, I swear

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On 13/08/2016 at 5:18 PM, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

So last night I had an interesting dream about a video. The video seemed to be recorded in the 80s, and it had kind of bad lighting. It showed a man taking apart an animatronic toy, which he described as having a major fire hazard he wanted to show off. The man had a generic British accent, which sounded oddly familiar. However, this familiarity came into light when the lighting itself got a bit better. His face was exposed, and guess who it was? Yeah, that's right. Freddie Mercury. I guess my dreams are mixing my niche obsessions now.

Your description of the video reminded me of this. Watch it all, thank me later.

 

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Okay here's an odd one: I entered a dark room surrounded by pillars. In the room there was a large cube and a man in a hole. The man looked a lot like iDubbbz and was talking to me about "Boss." I ignored him and pushed him into the hole and lifted a latch attached to the hole, locking him in. The latch had a carving of a face in agony. I then proceeded to continuously fill the face with water. The face drained at a very fast rate and every time it was empty I'd freak out. I kept doing this until I woke up.

EDIT: I remember I was working for the SCP Foundation in this dream.

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31 minutes ago, FenrirDarkWolf said:

i had a dream I was trying to get a flight to Europe for sexual reasons..........

I've had those as well...they seem a lot more open to fetishes, especially the UK and Germany. Those countries seem like heaven, for a part-time rubber-puppy, like myself...and I have had dreams of waking up in, er, various situations, with people with nice British accents around me. ;)

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I just woke up from a dream involving me eating glue for reasons I cannot recall. It was okay though- having some water would make it okay. So I got a glass of water but every time I tried to swallow it, I couldn't swallow. And my tongue was sticking to the roof of my mouth.

I needed water when I woke up.

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I had a dream recently where I was getting angry text messages from my boss about being late and that I was gonna get written up. Then I forget the specifics but she then lubed up my asshole with what looked like neosporin, and then stuck a suppository up my anus with what looked like a comically large plastic syringe (like the one's you use to feed infants liquid medicine).

I honestly don't want to think about the implications.

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My wife had a dream I was a girl. And she got mad because I was prettier than her.

 

I once had a dream I was being chased by a murder who nobody else could see. People were yelling at me to stop freaking out as he stood there staring at me, blood dripping from the enormous talons he wore on his fingers. It was traumatic.

 

My wife had a dream that I was dragged into the closet by a shadow monster and she took a poker from the fireplace and went in after me. She apparently didn't fair well and woke me up to calm her down.

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 I had a dream about an alternate history where hitler took over the world. Groups of people were in houses with large basements and I was stuck in one of them so when it was opened to feed people everyone ran out and attacked the guards. I went outside away from the group and the other guards just said hey and didn't attack me. The ground was covered in snow (which freaked me out since i live in southern U.S.) and so I checked a calendar and it said May 18 1960. I proceeded to freak out and then I saw a guy...in a fursuit...waving at people. Then I noticed my street was covered with fursuiters so I said hi and waved to one and everything changed colors like into a rainbow then I woke up. It felt like hours before I finally woke up though as if the dream was real and took up real time.

Never have I experienced something so weird.

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20 minutes ago, XoPachi said:

Who else has those dreams where it's your body desperately trying to tell you "GET THE FUCK UP. YOU HAVE TO PEE."

You know what happens to me? I wake up in the morning desperately needing to pee, but I'm so tired I go back to sleep then I have A DREAM that I get up out of bed and go pee, and then I wake up in bed again still needing to pee.

Talk about disappointment.

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4 hours ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

 

You know what happens to me? I wake up in the morning desperately needing to pee, but I'm so tired I go back to sleep then I have A DREAM that I get up out of bed and go pee, and then I wake up in bed again still needing to pee.

Talk about disappointment.

At least you don't wake up in a soaked bed after a dream like that.

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Recently had a dream about a world where every single person had turned female. Even I. I was told an end to all this could be found from a house in the middle of some woods and a silver axe laying in the snow would point the way to the house. Eventually I found the axe on a dirt road intersection in a forest but I didn't dare to follow the path supposedly leading to the house.

I turned back to where I came from, an outdoor living room of sorts (with a stairwell leading up somewhere indoors but I can't remember what was up there), rallied some friends with me and then headed back towards the intersection where the silver axe was lying. It wasn't where I remembered it to be, as if it had disappeared or was taken away, so, me and my friends just kept walking on and on down the different path until I looked into the horizon, saw some farm fields and figured out we are lost. That's when I woke up

There's plenty more to that dream and I wish I could remember it all. I don't get that lucid dreams so often anymore :(

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5 hours ago, Alexxx-Returns said:

 

You know what happens to me? I wake up in the morning desperately needing to pee, but I'm so tired I go back to sleep then I have A DREAM that I get up out of bed and go pee, and then I wake up in bed again still needing to pee.

Talk about disappointment.

Or twice the relief!

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I had a beautiful dream of exploring my city last night, except that it wasn't really my city. The area was a sublime, multilayer eclectic collection of buildings styled variously in Art Deco, Gothic, and (for some reason) 1990s Southern California, all interwoven with winding pathways, pavilions, and plazas.

I experienced it both on foot and by car at various points. In the car I saw an automated taxi that looked lika VW bug with the top cut off and replaced wiyh capped glass cylinders of various heights. I poked around all sorts of art, jewlery shops and at one point accidentally wandered into the gun range of a massive outdoor sports store with a rustic theme. Though I didn't find anything to buy, among the gorgeously decorated items in the shops, I loved the appearance.

It started getting dark and there was very little lighting. The dream ended with me trying to find my car in the darkness by having it launch a signal flare. To my dismay it was on the otherside of a lot if buildings and I had been going in the wrong direction since sundown.

I wish I had these sorts of dreams more often again! :D

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Yesterday I've watched a video of a raccoon being fought with a broom.

Last night in my dream I was beating one with a broom to drive it off the house I used to live in, to the point the raccoon was BLEEDING.

I don't understand why I was so violent... I'd never physically hurt an animal. Heck, I feel bad killing a freaking FLY.

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I dreamed I was back at university, and for some reason, I was living with the same people I lived with last year. We lived in a big house with a massive outdoor area. There were 2 bedrooms which everyone shared except me because these people didn't like me, so I had some sort of weird room that you went outside to get to, but I had it all to myself.

So with it being the start of the new year, they decided to throw a massive party. So many people in the outdoor area, you couldn't move around. Not my sort of thing, so I went into one of the bedrooms which was empty and waited for some people to come along so we could chat (my sort of thing).

A few people ended up coming in but they were the scraps of humanity that nobody wants to be friends with, so I got disappointed quickly. The first guy I met looked normal enough, but he said he'd brought his mother along, and when I asked where she was, he indicated to the empty space next to him which he had his arm around. Another guy was wearing a pinstriped suit and a fedora and had long, greasy dark hair. He tried to get a game of "never have I ever" going, but he didn't seem to understand the rules and he just went to individual people and whispered in their ear. The first guy kept saying "no, I'm saving myself" whenever he was asked something, and when the guy asked me, he made a statement instead of asking a question, and he was hitting on me with it.

I think this dream was probably a manifestation of all my insecurities about interacting with people. Or a throwback to school days where all the cool kids hated me and the teachers tried to make me be friends with the special kids. I dunno. It's the start of the new year at the uni I was kicked from so I think that's probably on my mind more than I like to admit.

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I dreamed that my mum made a comically large cheesecake... about the size of a Costco pizza if that makes sense... and I ate sooooooooo much of it. Just spoon after spoon of the stuff.

I woke up feeling very relieved because at the time I was panicking about how much I was ruining my diet. I remember I was even thinking about how I was gonna start logging all of it into MyFitnessPal.

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On 26/09/2016 at 10:20 AM, Alexxx-Returns said:

I dreamed that my mum made a comically large cheesecake... about the size of a Costco pizza if that makes sense... and I ate sooooooooo much of it. Just spoon after spoon of the stuff.

I woke up feeling very relieved because at the time I was panicking about how much I was ruining my diet. I remember I was even thinking about how I was gonna start logging all of it into MyFitnessPal.

I think I ate a whole costco pizza once

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I had a car that was powered on footpower (a-la Flintstones), and I was fast enough to keep along with highway speeds apparently.

I had to drive (read, basically run) the car to my friend's work that was in like, the seedy part of town (imagine like, Nowhere from Courage the Cowardly Dog, that type of weird). Said friend worked at a church place, and I was looking for a job, so I pulled myself together and made an interview with the pastor.

I can't remember the interview, but I was in the car again, I walked back up the steps and said hello to the pastor, but he didn't reply. Eventually we were driving home again, but someone else was driving and we had to stop so I could drive again, and then somehow my sister was there and we met up with mom at a restaurant. My mom asked where my sister's bracelet went, and she said "Numa" broke and flew off in the car.

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On 20/09/2016 at 6:03 PM, Alexxx-Returns said:

 

You know what happens to me? I wake up in the morning desperately needing to pee, but I'm so tired I go back to sleep then I have A DREAM that I get up out of bed and go pee, and then I wake up in bed again still needing to pee.

Talk about disappointment.

when you pee in your dreams you pee for real

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I have the strangest dreams. Often they involve trying to get from point a to point b. Sad thing is, I can't remember most of them when I wake up, they kinda fade away.

In one dream I had a week ago, one of the only ones I remember, I only remembered the part where I was at a large blue fireworks warehouse store, one with metal sides. Outside in the dark, people were lighting off hundreds of fireworks, including some huge guy in a cardboard Ironman costume (the Ironman part was painted on the cardboard), and he was firing large squat finned rockets into the air from his hand.

In another one, me and my mother were in a parking garage, this dingey one with white cinder block walls with water stains down the walls and exposed electrical conduit all over the place, and ramps that went all sorts of directions (most parking garages I dream of have strange ramp design, like MC escher or something). And then a part of the garage collapsed, and so we ran back to where her car was and it was gone (the area was not collapsed), and then this cop tried to encourage us to leave and followed us, begging us to leave as I climbed steel ladders and squeezed in between gaps to find her car.

This one's a bit perverted, so avert your eyes if this bugs you.
So I'm in this old fashioned school, one of those with cinder block walls, and either I'm a student or a faculty. (I have a lot of dreams where I'm back in high school for some reason). All I know is I can do more things than the kids there can. At one point I get in this elevator with wood panel walls, and then the floor starts going up but the ceiling stays, and right before I'm about to be crushed and I push against the ceiling, and it stops and reverses.

This is where it gets dirty. Later on me and friends/staff are getting subs from a cafe in the school. The woman behind the counter is a curvy, thick thighed woman, blonde hair. Suddenly while she's making my sub, she's bottomless, tits hanging out, and she's rubbing her crotch on the sub and winking at me. Later when I got the sub I opened it up expecting some weird fluids on the sub and didn't want to eat it. Oddly enough, this is not some sort of fetish of mine. It disgusted me rather than turned me on.

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I had a dream last night that was fast forwarding to me going and doing a masters degree, which is something that is gonna happen in my life. For some reason... the university was my old school, and the super hot girl from med school who all the guys worshipped and compared the rest of us ugly girls to all the time was on the same course. My heart SANK because I was relieved to get kicked from med school so I never had to look at her again and hate myself for being so ugly in comparison. Oddly enough I'd expect to be much more toned myself this far into the future so I have no idea why my course of action in that dream wasn't to show off how my body was equally as good as hers at that point. It was just like being back at med school, having to look away whenever she was in the room so I didn't hate my own body.

And for some reason I lived in a house that was right on the edge of the sea and I swam about a lot. And my brother introduced me to a really weird slot machine at the end and I kept winning tons of money.

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Tuesday night I had a dream I was driving down a snowy road. Then I was suddenly t-boned from the drivers side and pushed down a small hill. After I realized what happened I noticed that I had shattered. I was made of glass or ice. My legs had been severed and I was pretty banged up. I took one of my severed legs and used it to pull myself out of the wreckage. 

Then I woke up.

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Had an another weird adventurous and a very grim dream

The time of the day was dusk. I was on a bicycle, strolling around (for some reason) empty downtown. The buildings already looked to be in a bad shape and ransacked but it wasn't quite a slum. 

I suddenly had an urge to enter one particular building. There I saw a prophecy that told me about en impending doom. The prophecy said I have five minutes of forewarning before the city would get nuked (no particular reason why) so I warned my family and friends and suggested we flee the city. They did not panic, they agreed but I knew five minutes wouldn't be nearly enough to get out of the destruction zone of the nukes. 

Instead we traveled to a nearby lake shore. This shore was exactly the same as the one near my the house where I used to live for ten years. I suggested that the moment you see a mushroom cloud, you submerge. I knew this plan would be crazy and that it wouldn't work. Then I saw one. One big glowing yellow mushroom cloud in the distance. No sound yet due to light traveling faster than sound. I submerged, seeing the frightened faces of my family members under water and I swear some of them tried to talk under water but would only end up sprouting bubbles. I was just as afraid as they were. But the water remained cool and dark, as if we actually weren't in the blast radius. My oxygen was running out so I resurfaced. I saw another mushroom cloud. Then many more. I submerged again and decided to close my eyes this time. I survived. 

The next time I resurfaced, there weren't any more explosions, only rubble but the ground wasn't scorched. I started looking for my family members and friends but to my horror I saw their floating corpses on the water surface of the lake shore. I was mortified to find out their intestines floating apart from their bodies and I grabbed a gut and wept. I noticed the body in the water that resembled my sister. She had taken a snorkel and I could hear her breathing. I was so relieved until the moment I decided to remove the snorkel mask only to see her bare shattered skull. The breathing was just air escaping. I thought "Not she too". 

Then to my surprise, I saw my mother and a few of my friends wade out of the water. I then heard a loud car honk in the distance. It was an armored caravan and I decided to approach it. Why would there be a caravan so early after the nukes landed but then I realized that I must have been in some sort of stasis while under water and that it's actually years since the nukes had landed. 

The dream continues as I approached the caravan but unfortunately I cannot remember it

... 

My mind must be very imaginative. I feel as if I had just submitted to r/writingprompts

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So I'm driving around some baby-boomer-era-ranch-home neighborhood, for work. It's cloudy. I can see lightning in the distance, and rain. For some reason, I'm at the back of this car, moving stuff around the trunk, and the car starts rolling down this very shallow hill on this residential street. I try to grab the bumper but fail. It travels a block before rear ending a parked while pickup truck and caving the bed in while buckling it upward. The owner of the truck, a skinny white redneck type, steps out and seems kinda upset but invites me into his house where he offers me food and I look at all his fridge magnets. Then I say we need to take care of the accident and we step out to see a bunch of police and emergency crews, and the road blocked. Two cars had crashed next to ours. So we decided to make up a story where we would blame the other drivers for our accident.

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I had a kind of disturbing one last night. It was following two guys who were trying to find and bring home this radioactive rock. They found it and because it was so big and heavy, they both picked it up together. I shit you not, the rock was in the shape of a furry head, specifically a coyote. Then later on one of the guys got really bad radiation sickness and his face melted off.

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I've had two weird dreams as of recent. I'll start off with the first one.

In the first dream, I was still living with my sister, and she told me two new thrift stores had opened up. Knowing me, I went out to go see them, with a pocket full of cash. In the first thrift store, I looked for about 2 hours, trying to find a VHS tape of Song of the South. Of course, I didn't find it, so I left that one, and went over to the next one. The next one on the inside was very chaotic and messy, but it had a ton of stuff, particularly stuff I was obsessed with. It turns out the store was opened because a 20 year old dude and his dad wanted to sell off some of the 20 year olds childhood collections. While I was there I ended up buying a fluffy white furby with white eyes, a coca cola can shaped duffel bag, and a McDonald's Land and California Raisins pillow case. I was beyond happy, and I went home, and for some reason the house was much bigger than before, and when I went to my room these two angry old people who claimed they were my grandparents ended up ripping holes in my new pillowcases. I started to cry a lot, and they yelled at me for crying. After I while I left the room and went to some other room, and some chick with straight black hair looking depressed told me she would fix my pillowcases. We then went out into the kitchen, and my mom made us some chicken pot pies.

 

In the second dream (the one I had last night), I dreamt that I was outside in the dark looking for a kitten, and suddenly a man came up to me and told me I was lost. He brought me inside of his large house, and the lighting revealed that the man was that fucking dickwad Onision from youtube. He told me to stay there when he went back outside. He came back a few minutes later and told me he killed the kitten and fake cried, and then grabbed me by the arms and forced me into a room, locking the door. Inside of the room were two other girls around my age, looking slightly malnourished. They motioned me over and gave me a hug, telling me we'd get out of there soon enough. I was clearly confused and scared, because I was crying. The next morning came and Onision came into the room with his camera and told us to start recording footage for his next video. We did as commanded, and then he left. This pattern kept going for a few days, but then on the 5th day I woke up very early, about 7 am, and somehow managed to unlock the window in the room and escape. I ran very hard and fast to my house, where my mom, sister, and sister's boyfriend was. I came inside and tried to tell them where I had been, but they were asleep. I called 911 and told them I had just escaped from Onision's house and gave them the address. The lady laughed at me but told me cops would be at the house to investigate.

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So, for some reason or another, I was trying to have sex with this guy, because I was jealous of him because he was about to have sex with this guy I liked, I think. Also I was using shitty invisibility and never did get to do anything to him, because said guy came back and I ran away, and then they were trying to find me.. for some reason, and then I pretended to be a demon and ran away.

Next I was outside, and there was like, a bunch of women on the other side, playing on the metal siding and poles like stripper poles, and I was doing the same thing on the other side. I ended up jumping down and running around the house into the first house I lived in, and then there was rice my mom was making on the kitchen floor (because you entered that house from laundry room-->kitchen) and then I woke up

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I had a dream that of me wondering how I could over design my rather crap engineering project (a electric sweeping brush) to include lots of LED lights, a SD card slot, a touchscreen and a Motorola 68000 so I can use it as a glorified genesis/Mac 128K/Commodore Amiga/some other thing with a 68000 in on wheels that also cleans the floor whist lighting the room up like a Xmas tree..

 

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1 minute ago, Lopaw said:

I had a dream that of me wondering how I could over design my rather crap engineering project (a electric sweeping brush) to include lots of LED lights, a SD card slot, a touchscreen and a Motorola 68000 so I can use it as a glorified genesis/Mac 128K/Commodore Amiga/some other thing with a 68000 in on wheels that also cleans the floor whist lighting the room up like a Xmas tree..

 

Life goals.
DO IT... DOO EEETTT!!!

Nothing is good unless it has a billion LEDs and is powered by a microprocessor.

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36 minutes ago, Crazy Lee said:

Life goals.
DO IT... DOO EEETTT!!!

Nothing is good unless it has a billion LEDs and is powered by a microprocessor.

If I did make it there would be a knob on as well so you could choose what system to use, so you can play sonic, Oregon trail and lemmings respectively. Though Oregon trail will only appeal to the americans on the forum (certain it never came to the UK for obvious reasons) I couldn't think of any UK titles for the mac 128k off the top of my head that I could list.

To rectify the region specific game problem the mac 128K mode will be exclusive to the US, the UK version of the whole thing will include a ZX spectrum mode instead so you can play jet set willy and the like.

.

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  • 2 weeks later...

just woke up from a nap where I dreamt that me, a friend, and two other people met up IRL in the British countryside (?!), about a hundred miles north of London, at night to check out four weird WWII Japanese prototype tank-plane things. Two cops had accompanied us and one had shot out a lock for us to gain access to the Japanese tank-planes at night.

We were just entering the compound (really just someone's house and backyard) when I looked up and saw the sky getting brighter and taking on a sickly green glow as lightning was building up in a spherical part of the sky above London. I yelled "get down" and grabbed a face full of dirt just before this enormous flame wall shockwave blasted through and incinerated the two cops. I spent so long lying down with blasting flames inches over my head (somehow not being roasted though) that I actually started getting bored and cramping up a bit.

 

Next morning the house and planes were fine for some reason as was my android tablet (no EMP apparently). The sky was mostly sunny with light clouds except for a huge gaping hole above what used to be London where the only clouds were a tower of smoke rings where the mushroom cloud would've been, and the air and countryside had been cleared so well that you could actually see some of London's ruins. My friend and and I were the only uninjured survivors in the area and we were getting ready to start cannibalizing the four tank-planes into a single working unit to go scavenge supplies.

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I found some site that was only for use by government agents only. I accidentally put in my house's address for the site of a drug cartel. I was trying to tell my parents of what happened, and they were disgusted I was on some site dedicated to drugs. A SWAT team burst down my door and killed my mother.

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I had 2 weird dreams tonight.

In the first dream it was very early morning, and I decided to go to an old metal-style cafe like they had in the 50s. I walked inside, and there was only one person at the counter, and only 2 of the lights were on. The man was, you bloody guessed it, Freddie Mercury. He was in his 1988-1990 stage, the stage where he had stubble and very short hair. I didn't recognize him for some reason, but he was very kind to me, and we chatted a lot about various things. At one point however, he told me he liked to sing, and he decided to show me. I don't remember exactly what he said, but at that point his raw singing was the only thing I heard, and I swear to god it sounded like it had actually happened in real life.I don't remember specifically what song he was singing, but from how chilling and serious his voice was, I think it was "Who Wants To Live Forever". Seriously, when I woke up I thought it had actually happened because that's how crisp and clear his voice was.

 

In the second dream, things were more hectic and random. At first, I was in school (I believe elementary-middle school), despite being 16. We were at a small store, and the students were doing presentations about various subjects. I was sitting in the very very back with a kid who's job was to wash beer cans. When it came my turn to present, everybody stared at me and laughed before I had ever touched the projector, but then I was suddenly at home, where there was a flood, so I stood on a deck in hopes of making it. When the flood had finished, someone informed me that my cat had died, and I sobbed for a long time until a different, older cat climbed on the deck to comfort me. After the flood I was suddenly in school again, and we were going on a field trip/hike to Carson City, Nevada, where I live. I didn't have to listen to the teacher's instructions because I knew where I was, but for some reason while I climbed I carried a Chuck E. Cheese plush with me. There was a peak where we had to climb up and then fall down into a puddle of water, but before I could do that, I noticed that students were getting electrocuted in the water. That then led me to the final part of the dream, where I was watching youtube videos about electronic moving toys from a gift shop that were recalled for electrocuting people. I was at my Sister's house, and she suddenly came into the room after work and sat down. I looked at her, and then noticed she was wearing Adidas Hercules. I suddenly asked her where she had gotten the shoes, and if I could have them if I traded her the sneakers I had already. She was confused, seeing as she had gotten them from a thrift store and didn't think they were very important, so she gave them to me and I was very, very happy. I believe that tied in with, again, Freddie Mercury, since he wore those sneakers often.

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