Lucyfish Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 When I first came out as trans I told my boyfriend at the time I'd understand if he no longer wanted to date. We went on to date a while longer, but I at least understood if he didn't want to.If someone only likes guys, they only like guys. That's understandable. No need to come up with preposterous notions about trans people, though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I finished my project and I have free time shitlordWoah woah woah, Firecracker, settle down there. I think you like, got some nasty rage issues you should probably work out. Like, you take the jokes on here too personally and flare up like acne on a teenager's face. Take a chill pill. Relax. Look at this picture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Woah slow down thereWhile yes, OP is/was being fairly ignorant, is it not understandable that she'd have issues with dating someone who was trans? No body's complained about her not wanting to date trans people, so I don't see why you're expecting everyone to understand it, when, at worst, only indifference has been expressed. ...It's everything ELSE that she's said that people have taken issues with. Blaming food, blaming upbringing, saying that the people of India and Thailand are strange, and bemoaning that her ex-boyfriends were now 'unattractive women'. Ya know, all the SHITTY stuff she said. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) No body's complained about her not wanting to date trans people, so I don't see why you're expecting everyone to understand it, when, at worst, only indifference has been expressed. ...It's everything ELSE that she's said that people have taken issues with. Blaming food, blaming upbringing, saying that the people of India and Thailand are strange, and bemoaning that her ex-boyfriends were now 'unattractive women'. Ya know, all the SHITTY stuff she said.They all have bad bangs now, so you should cross off the "unattractive women" part from something to yell at her about.On a distant planet, that's the worst crime of all and is grounds for punishment via the silent treatment. Edited October 1, 2015 by Toshabi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I barely even have bangs, my hair just goes FWOOM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayattar Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) No body's complained about her not wanting to date trans people, so I don't see why you're expecting everyone to understand it, when, at worst, only indifference has been expressed. ...It's everything ELSE that she's said that people have taken issues with. Blaming food, blaming upbringing, saying that the people of India and Thailand are strange, and bemoaning that her ex-boyfriends were now 'unattractive women'. Ya know, all the SHITTY stuff she said.Your butthurt is delicious. I assume you're ready to scratch other people's eyes out every time someone is mistaken or disagrees with you? And actually she has every right to believe that, you bigots, being EXACTLY the same as you, only taking a different stance.What you were bitching about on the last three pages has nothing to do with OP's issue and asked questions. So, as I said, you all (almost all) are useless. Five people responding on the topic, rest bitching about secondary stuff like second graders in heat. Edited October 1, 2015 by Ayattar 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Your butthurt is delicious.Says the guy who yesterday had to make a thread all about his anger over his dick pick thread getting shut down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayattar Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Says the guy who yesterday had to make a thread all about his anger over his dick pick thread getting shut down. And I'm going to make another one, since another topic got closed and my PM to the moderator got ignored. I'll just wait a day or two, to see if it was lack of time to respond or pure malevolence. And again, by focusing on the dick issue, you prove that you lack basic abilities to comprehend even simpliest problems that aren't on the tip of your nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 And I'm going to make another one, since another topic got closed and my PM to the moderator got ignored. I'll just wait a day or two, to see if it was lack of time to respond or pure malevolence. And again, by focusing on the dick issue, you prove that you lack basic abilities to comprehend even simpliest problems that aren't on the tip of your nose.Look man, I got shit to do. I got you and you're... Whatever your mental illness about dick pic threads is, AND I'm trying to figure out how to display CPU average temperature and CPU load to the LCD of an iDRAC7. So stop demanding ALL of my attention. You'll get like 30% of it, tops. Deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Signy Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) I'm not even going to address the thinly veiled racism that was in the first part of this quote. I'm pretty sure OP is a troll account, what with the way they keep peppering in really wild hooks in middle of otherwise semi-reasonable statements. Maybe my "theory" was wrong and outdated, but the point still stand that I feel like I'm being deceived. To me, it's just as bad as being cheated on. I can't imagine the people who are married for years and one of them comes out... must be incredibly hard on the cis one. Though, maybe like Signy mentioned, if I loved someone for so long, I could maybe look past it. But these relationships were less than a year.No. It wasn't hard, because my wife is a human being and she deserved my respect. I couldn't call her a liar or claim that she had been deceiving me when the person she'd been lying too first and foremost was herself. How could I take offense to her withholding something from me that she had barely been able to admit to herself? It got to the point where it was killing her, and she had only two choices left: acknowledge who she was (and tell me, as difficult as it was for her), or commit suicide. I love the fact that the increased visibility and acceptance of trans people has helped so many others come forward at a younger age, and I hope that this helps prevent them from being at the point my wife and many other trans folk that I know, had to reach before they were able to confront this part of themselves.It wasn't the same as cheating on me because my trust had never been violated. When she told me that she was trans, she was in the most vulnerable place I'd ever seen her. If I had reacted with judgement, accusations or got hung up on my own insecurities/inability to deal (i.e., made the situation about myself when it had nothing to do with me and was about her own needs), I would have been the one violating trust. She was bringing to me her deepest fears, inner conflict and hope for the future - and in that moment, I had the power to completely reject and demolish her. If nothing else, as her partner, I had the responsibility to listen, love and comfort her in that moment.I never once "looked past" her being trans. I celebrate who she is. I love her. I'm proud of her. She fucking rocks. I will never blame a partner who realizes that they can't continue a relationship with a SO who is transitioning. Just like any serious change a relationship experiences, partners should take the time to re-evaluate their future, and if it still lies with their SO. If that future is too far from what they want for themselves, they have every right to end it. And as a having a trans partner can effect things like having children, sexual compatibility, self identity/perceived sexuality, ect., it can be a very different path than the one you had expected to have together, and be an understandable deal-breaker.My relationship was no different. I had a lot that I needed to consider. We had already decided kids weren't for us. I stressed about being seen as a lesbian for a while, but then I decided that there were worse things in the world to be called. I couldn't imagine not holding her hand and being affectionate in public and I wasn't going to give that up because I was afraid someone would think I was gay when I wasn't. Sex between us took a while to figure out, but we navigated that too. I'm still primarily attracted to men but our relationship dynamic has always allowed for lovers outside of the primary bond. Honestly, it just took a ton of talking and learning to figure everything out and after a while, we found our way again. But I can (and do) blame a partner for attacking, belittling, dismissing or insulting their trans SO. Or any SO for that matter. It's abusive, and I believe that any adult who is taking personal responsibility for themselves can express their feelings, needs and what-have-yous without hurting their loved ones. It's perfectly fine to feel that grief and loss and hurt - even betrayal if that's what you feel you're experiencing. But that doesn't make lashing out acceptable. I think it's entirely possible to end a relationship, even with someone you were passionately in love with, without adding a bunch of extra, painful drama to it. I think it's even more possible to break off one that's less than a year old without then saying a bunch of passive aggressive shit about their appearance, upbringing ect. OP spewed.TLDR: Having a partner come out as trans is not cheating on you, lying to you or betraying you because it has nothing to do with you, and is their own personal journey. It's not that different from any other major change a relationship can experience that requires a compatibility re-evaluation. It's entirely possible for the relationship to continue or to end on amicable terms. Edited October 1, 2015 by Signy 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayattar Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Look man, I got shit to do. I got you and you're... Whatever your mental illness about dick pic threads is, AND I'm trying to figure out how to display CPU average temperature and CPU load to the LCD of an iDRAC7. So stop demanding ALL of my attention. You'll get like 30% of it, tops. Deal with it. Nobody forces you do respond. That you do so, is amusing, showing you have things, whatever would they be, that you desperately need to prove. But please continue doing so. It's top quality entertainment, seeing internet warriors full of complexes, like you, in action.And as to be expected, from someone who specializes in computer stuff. Reading comprehension and discussing skills close to none. Just another bigot complaining about bigots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 TLDR: Having a partner come out as trans is not cheating on you, lying to you or betraying you because it has nothing to do with you, and is their own personal journey. It's not that different from any other major change a relationship can experience that requires a compatibility re-evaluation. It's entirely possible for the relationship to continue or to end on amicable terms. You come off to me as a very awesome and supportive person, and your signature kills me with cute.Very much kudos to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizy Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Wow, this thread has somehow gotten worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Excuse me, but how old are you? I wouldn't expect it to be more than twelve Clearly you don't understand a joke when you see one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeke Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 If any of you folks (You know who you are) can't stay on topic without derailing this into a crap, you will be infracted. This is your only in thread warning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 If any of you folks (You know who you are) can't stay on topic without derailing this into a crap, you will be infracted. This is your only in thread warning.Oh come on, it's obviously a troll post from the get go. Look at the users other threads. Those special kinda stupid threads that are carefully geared to inflame, yet the user has no history or anything with the rest of the users, just some stranger, with an ungoogleable name, not even an avatar, and a specific kind of threads.How about you work on that as a mod? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeke Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 How about you work on that as a mod?No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Lion Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Ok OP, I get not being attracted to transpeople. A transwoman is still a woman and a transman is still a man, if these things don't attract you it's ok to break up.But some of your commentary is total bullshit, it's not caused by diet, something in the water or not being raised right. Not even going to get into your Thai and Indian remark, but I will say that admitting you're words sound ignorant does not make them somehow less offensive.On the subject of deception, I don't necessarily think it's unfair to feel deceived if the person in question is actually knowingly hiding something from you. In the case of someone who knows they're trans and is using you as a cover or have refrained from telling you because it may affect your decision to be in a relationship with them, then yes, you have every right to feel hurt or upset. Withholding information that may influence your decision to remain or engage in a relationship is a form of lying.That said: Not every transperson knows for sure that they are transgender. It is a big inner struggle and source of internal conflict and many of them don't even know right away they are transgender and will want to transition. A partner who is coming out to you after years of reflection and mental struggle or depression is not trying to hurt you, they're trying to figure themselves out and they're telling you, as openly as they can, what's going on in their minds.It never hurts to try to be patient and understanding, that goes for both parties. A transperson cannot expect a cis partner not to be affected and the cis partner's feelings should not be ignored or trivialized any more than the trans partner's. Coming out can leave both parties feeling vulnerable and insecure about themselves and this is the worst time to try and antagonize or demonize your trans partner for being deceptive or your cis partner for not being supportive.In summary: Not being attracted to XYZ gender identity isn't wrong, but you need to fix your worldviews. Shit is complicated and emotional for all parties in a relationship, be empathetic and try to understand your partner but know that your own feelings are not invalid either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaraphayx Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Wow, this thread has somehow gotten worse.It's because I stopped posting, forgive me my queen.Unfortunately it's beyond my help now, so there's only one option.Gas thread, ban everyone.MODS 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 the amount of gender dystopia in Amurica is staggering. One day you won't find someone that is, y'know... "normal".No but seriously America seems to be a hotspot for LGBT in the world and I can't get my head around the statistic. Must be radiation poisoning in the water, or something. But cheer up, OP, you'll find that special someone one day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy Lee Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 This problem didn't happen years ago.Could be because people just didn't come out as trans years ago due to fear. Only now they feel it's okay enough to be honest with the world. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidewalk Surfboard Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Jesus christ people quite bumping this thread back up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 Jesus christ people quite bumping this thread back upNo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butters Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 No but seriously America seems to be a hotspot for LGBT in the world and I can't get my head around the statistic. Must be radiation poisoning in the water, or something.are you ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 are you ok? I'm a furry should that even be a question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butters Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 I'm a furry should that even be a question?that post was just really out of character for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 that post was just really out of character for you. Keep 'em guessing that's what I always say. Can't become to predictable, luv, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucyfish Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 My boyfriends keep turning into pillars of salt help 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizy Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 My boyfriends keep turning into pillars of salt helpWhy they so salty bruh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yarra Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 At least three times so far, I'd began dating a guy, and it seems to go okay, then eventually he says "btw I'm a transgirl now". (When I say at least three, I mean that there are others who I wasn't officially dating but was talking to).I have nothing against transgender people- more power to them for being who they want. But it's just annoying, for someone like me, who is only attracted to guys. And it's not like the guy was cross-dressing a lot before he came out or anything (though I know cisguys cross-dress too). There wasn't a way to tell at the beginning. I don't blame them for hiding it, but don't get into a relationship with someone if it could ruin it. They specifically knew I wasn't attracted to girls. I know it's every person for themself, but still. If it only happened once, it'd be whatever but it keeps happening.I may get flack for this, but... I honestly think it's certain chemicals in our food or water nowadays. Apparently, they cause estrogen production or something like that. That, and them not being raised stritcly enough. I know it sounds bigoted and ignorant, but I can't help but think of anything else. This problem didn't happen years ago.I do have two straight guy friends who had the opposite happen- their ex-girlfriends turned into transguys. But this seems less often the case.I feel like I have to put up a warning when I start dating: "only date me if you're 100% cis". Because my exs started off using "genderfluid" as a stepping-stone, or saying "I wonder what it would have been like had I been born a girl". I'm honestly afraid to date now. I don't want to keep getting heartbroken.Maybe you have a superpower Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrishaCat Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 My boyfriends keep turning into pillars of salt helpI didn't know god was a furry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuujou Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I didn't know god was a furryYeah, I am. I keep it under wraps though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmomma Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 At first she was a dude, now she's a chick with a dick and I'm fapping furiously.butnosrsly, I'd be so fucking chill. I'd be all "...hhhhwhalkdjshfkaljesrlske I'm happy you've figured yourself out WE SHOULD SEX TO CELEBRATE." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 At first she was a dude, now she's a chick with a dick and I'm fapping furiously.butnosrsly, I'd be so fucking chill. I'd be all "...hhhhwhalkdjshfkaljesrlske I'm happy you've figured yourself out WE SHOULD SEX TO CELEBRATE."lmao quality reaction 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmomma Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 lmao quality reactionSexuality is a pole, and GIIIIIRL I SWING ON ALL SIDES OF THE POLE 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Fuck I don't know why I never posted this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmomma Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Jesus christ people quite bumping this thread back upI DO WHAT I WANT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spot Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) Fuck you it's Saturday here, the weekend is for partying! Edited November 14, 2015 by Mr. Fox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshleyAshes Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 In my defense, I assume everyone in the furry fandom is a gay dude by default. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 (edited) Fuck I don't know why I never posted this. no no, this is for pre-T trans dudes, m8! You got it backwards! Edited November 14, 2015 by WolfNightV4X1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phausk Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 In my defense, I assume everyone in the furry fandom is a gay dude by default. That's a fair assumption Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratmomma Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 the amount of gender dystopia in Amurica is staggering. One day you won't find someone that is, y'know... "normal".No but seriously America seems to be a hotspot for LGBT in the world and I can't get my head around the statistic. Must be radiation poisoning in the water, or something. But cheer up, OP, you'll find that special someone one day! Moar peepees and vaginas for me to diddle during times of single lady status, but currently there's only one peepee foar me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nordo Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 It's so perfect... I couldn't resist ;o) Now, to the OP, assuming you're not a troll, just let them be who they are and you be who you are. Attraction is a very individual thing, it's ok to not be attracted to someone anymore the same way you once were before they "came out" but that doesn't mean they're of any less value than they were. You can still remain close friends and whatnot. Afterall if you were dating them you shared some kind of bond I assume. That doesn't need to change just because they aren't in the running for the "husband" title anymore... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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