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People don't get it.


Red Lion
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I don't drink because I used to have a problem with alcohol. Basically it was my medicine, whenever I felt like I couldn't cope with my depression and post traumatic stress I would drink myself into oblivion and just kind of stay drunk and passed out. Thankfully I've long since knocked that shit off and with time and counseling I've been sober for about 7 years. In that time I've had only a single incident where I got kind of tipsy and I still cut myself off before I reached the point of no return. Even knowing this was an issue for me there are a couple of guys who like to talk about getting me to drink. I don't know if they grasp the severity of the issue or if they are really just complete assholes, but it's not fucking funny to joke about taking me out and getting me hammered. Also if I fucking tell you I don't want to drink, don't grill me for my reasons or try to cajole me into "just a couple of shots". "Don't worry, we'd make sure you didn't drink to much" Ok sure, like I fucking trust you to cut me off. No the fuck I don't. Even if I did, the fact that I refuse to drink more than a single drink, on very rare occasions, is not for your benefit it's for my own. My friend usually does a good job of keeping these guys away from me and he doesn't bring them around if I'm hanging out with him, but we live in the same town and went to the same school so it's impossible to avoid them 24/7. Back in the day I used to hang out with them and I eventually stopped not long after I started college. I think there is some resentment on their end because I just kind of cut them out, but I can't feel too bad about it since they're still completely irresponsible and inconsiderate. "You just need to relax and get wasted with us!" hell no. Never again. I don't care how uptight you think I'm being, I WILL NOT. 

The saddest part about all of this is that part of me is tempted, part of me would really love to just cut loose and completely forget about everything and everyone. But I know if I do that I'll just feel like shit when I wake up again. But goddammit I wish people would stop trying to tempt me....

I dunno, there's not really much I or anyone can do about this. I'm just writing out my thoughts to release a metaphorical pressure valve. Sometimes, for a little while, I'm not ok and I need to let somethings go before I can get back to being ok. 

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I can't speak for everyone, but there are definitely a group of individuals that partake in self-destructive behavior and they want others to join them to validate their life choices. Alcohol consumption is a common example of this as many people realize the physical and mental ramifications of imbibing alcohol and want others to join them to make the reality of their choices easier to swallow.

There's also the social aspects of "Going out to get drunk." Some people feel the only thing they have in common is their enjoyment in alcohol and a threat to that (Having kids, getting married, or moving on) can create a backlash among your peers that leads to anger and resentment. Resentment: "They're clearly trying to dissolve what we built", Depression: "Everyone is moving on and I'm going to be left alone. All I have is this and what happens when everyone else is gone?" Jealousy "They are able to quit. Able to move on. I can't. This is all I have"

Communication and time is all you can really look into. Time heals all wounds, they say.

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I've never understood the point of going out and getting hammered.  If you NEED alcohol in order to have a good time you are doing it wrong.  Having a drink while you are having a good time can be fun, but it shouldn't be the primary goal. Respect for sticking to it RL, keep it up.  

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You know what, people like that don't understand a fucking thing.

There's a person in my family that is a big, big time alcoholic, and there was a point where he had looked for and had a few months worth of treatment to handle it.

He was doing good, and I ended up working at the same gig he was at, and the fucking way people just push people to get hammered...

I won't lie, I drink my face off myself, I'm not a happy person bla bla bla, but I'm usually good enough to recompose myself the next day. When I'm at work, I don't even get near alcohol or any kind of drug, and I'm usually on shifts for 14 days on and 7 off. I'm a fucking write-off on days off, but that's the way she goes.

So, person in my family that I mentioned, the guy is, well, gone short of dying. It's fucking sad to see somebody in that kind of shape, and there's nothing to do about it. It's getting worse in every imaginable aspect, and he won't ever work again, not in the shape he's in. It's terrible.

But, right when he got out of rehab, and right when I ended up working with him, everybody was on about getting hammered. They had no idea the guy's wife was a complete fucking cunt, and he literally just got out of rehab, yet they were constantly asking him about how fucked up he was going to get on days out and what he's going to do when he sees his wife again... He just let it happen, though. Never said a word about where he was at, just kind of smiled and let it all happen.

I'd like to say I told them to ease off on the guy, but he's damn near 30 years older than me, I really don't know him that well personally outside of the odd family gathering, and I wasn't going to jump into his personal life, especially at work.

Bottom line, though, there's a lot of people that just figure unless you drink or smoke or fucking shoot up then you haven't lived. It's bullshit.

I have lots of good friends that don't drink or anything like it, and I don't bother them nor could I give a fuck why they don't. People that continually prod others into a bad habit, they're assholes. They have no fucking idea what they're imposing, because to them it's all a big fun social happy fun-time thing.

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I've never understood why there's so few options for people seeking help from drinking, outside of AA, and '12 step' programs...they can be downright creepy/cultlike, and it certainly doesn't work for many people...but as for peer support, it's like AA has some kinda monopoly, and if you don't fit in, there's just not much out there.

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Have you explained to these people why you decided not to drink? Maybe they just see it as you avoiding hanging out and having a good time, not to say it isnt dickish of them to insist you drink when youve declined, but it'd be way worse if they knew you struggled with that and STILL insisted. 

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