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LuckyOwlTheFictionCritic

Advice on how to tell your relatives to stop smoking?

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Here is my situation every other week: I go to look for something in the kitchen that I need in order to cook something, but it's not there, even though we were given money to buy said item. I ask why we don't have it, and the response every time is "I used the money to buy cigarettes for your sister", and every time I feel myself become less tolerant of it.

I understand fully well the stress my sister has, being without a home and having to live with our mother, as I am now, but I am reaching my wits end with the smoking excuse. Despite my... expressive upbringing, I do well to not use profanity to describe how I am feeling, but I cannot stop myself when I say this: It's starting to piss me the fuck off. Nobody else is doing ANYTHING to try to get her to give it up, just "you should stop doing that" and "that's not good for you".

I love my sister, perhaps the most out of the entirety of our family, but I am on the verge of giving her an ultimatum. Her relationship with her brother, or her cigarettes.

So, here I am. Asking, against my Southern nature, for help. Is there anything I can say or anything I can do to get her to stop smoking?

This has been Lucky Owl, self-proclaimed critic of fiction.

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I'm just going to give my advice here, or rather, a suggestion. To stop smoking cold turkey is very difficult from what I've heard. My grandfather did it successfully, but he suffered quite a bit to get there. What I suggest, is to have her quit cigarettes, but switch to e-cigs. Overtime, she can gradually lower the amount of nicotine that's in the juice, until it's at 0mg's. At that point, she can stop completely, or just keep going if she feels like it, but it won't be addictive, due to no nicotine. Just thought I'd share though, the choice is ultimately up to you two.

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Quitting any kind of addiction is pretty fucking difficult.
I don't think expecting her to quit that, on her own, is realistic. Especially if she doesn't want to.

Your mother shouldn't be giving her money for them, though. If she is, that's her fault.
Pressure her to stop spending necessity money on your sister's cigarettes. Your sister should be paying for her addiction by her own means, and if she can't, well too bad.
That's where you're probably going to have most, if any, success in that regard.

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9 minutes ago, Vae said:

Quitting any kind of addiction is pretty fucking difficult.
I don't think expecting her to quit that, on her own, is realistic. Especially if she doesn't want to.

Your mother shouldn't be giving her money for them, though. If she is, that's her fault.
Pressure her to stop spending necessity money on your sister's cigarettes. Your sister should be paying for her addiction by her own means, and if she can't, well too bad.
That's where you're probably going to have most, if any, success in that regard.

Definitely, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The biggest and most easily addressed problem at the moment is your mother's enabling.

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Suck toes not Tobacco.

 

Also, get her a vape. Its expensive initially, yah, but its the easiest way to ween a person off of nicotine.

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29 minutes ago, Toshabi said:

Suck toes not Tobacco.

My life motto!

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1 hour ago, Toshabi said:

Suck toes not Tobacco.

 

Also, get her a vape. Its expensive initially, yah, but its the easiest way to ween a person off of nicotine.

In my experience it's just as costly as tobacco with all the shit you have to buy to get started + coils, juice, etc. If you cheap out it'll just break right away and she'll just be right back to the cigs, especially if she's not interested in quitting

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On the topic of e-cigs, you can buy relatively cheapo ones at like Walgreens and shit.
You can't control the amount of nicotine in them, and if you smoke a fuckload it might be less cost-effective than buying a kit.
But everyone kept pushing the kits on me, when I feel like the ready to go boxed ones in stores are good 'nuff.

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I would like to thank you all for your advice. While I may not be able to pursue some of these avenues due to financial constraint, I at least have a place to start. It is my hope that at least some of what I will say will make her think.

I wish you luck in your own endeavors, those of you that struggle with the same difficulty, whether it be your friends, family, or yourself.

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Although everyone else has pretty much answered it. I do agree that the first route to go down is with your mother's enabling and explain it to her how it's affecting you and how it'll end up damaging and potentially costing your sister a relationship. Perhaps suggest something like nicotine patches to help her quit to your mother and if your sister refuses I think you need to support your mother. She'll be needing it to stay committed if it does work out. <3

It's a shame america doesn't have our plain packaging laws, you could show her the packet's fucked up pictures :V

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51 minutes ago, Revates said:

It's a shame america doesn't have our plain packaging laws, you could show her the packet's fucked up pictures :V

Over here they have plain brown packaging with pictures of naked, impotent men curled up in the foetal position and pics of stomas on them. I've overheard some woman buying tobacco by saying "i'll take the one with the naked man on it" and my friends have joked that the stoma pic looks like a weird vagina. Those anti smoking pics don't do shit.

OT: I don't know if OP is having a laugh but if they're not. Honestly dude you sound a little uptight, tell your sister to get a job so she can afford her own cigarettes (if she wants to go the self employed route i'd suggest prostitution, she could afford any drug she wanted if she started selling her body with only a very slight risk of being brutally murdered) and maybe smoke a few with her. It'll help in more ways than you know. ;3

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You can either wean her off through vaping (A vape pen's about 30. A good set up that can simulate the burn of a cig can be expensive). The e-juice can last awhile if she isn't going to burn through the nicotine stuff like crazy. Or wherever she is getting the money to fund her habit, stop the flow. 

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15 hours ago, Zeke said:

You can either wean her off through vaping (A vape pen's about 30. A good set up that can simulate the burn of a cig can be expensive). The e-juice can last awhile if she isn't going to burn through the nicotine stuff like crazy. Or wherever she is getting the money to fund her habit, stop the flow. 

The idea of "weaning her off" cigarettes is silly. Unless she genuinely wants to quit alternatives will do nothing. Vapes can work out cheaper yes but a $30 pen is frankly, shit. It doesn't deliver much of a hit and it'll break pretty easily under the wrong circumstances. If you want to get into vaping properly you need to get something that's at least £60 ($76.88 for reference) and some good quality oils that have a high nicotine content and don't taste like shit. Then you need the bloody coils (honestly vapes are a ballache in general, but that's a rant for another day). You're looking at about £80-90 upfront ($102.50-115.32) just to get set up for a proper switch and even then, the hit isn't the same. It's a substitute but as i said, if there's no genuine desire to quit smoking it won't work. Best case scenario she'll go a month vaping and having the occasional cig before she quits and goes back to smoking. Trying to make her quit is just stupid. Good intentions maybe but still.

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15 minutes ago, [null] said:

it'll break pretty easily under the wrong circumstances. 

This could be said a bit pretty much anything though. And it's not like they don't tell you how to take care of it either :/ 

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3 minutes ago, willow said:

This could be said a bit pretty much anything though. And it's not like they don't tell you how to take care of it either :/ 

Finding out the tip has snapped off after you've stored it in a bag for a long trip is fucking annoying, especially when the first thing you do when it breaks is buy cigarettes out of necessity. You can buy cheap shit and get by yes but it's still cheaply made shit. Not worth it if you're serious about switching.

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5 hours ago, [null] said:

The idea of "weaning her off" cigarettes is silly. Unless she genuinely wants to quit alternatives will do nothing. Vapes can work out cheaper yes but a $30 pen is frankly, shit. It doesn't deliver much of a hit and it'll break pretty easily under the wrong circumstances. If you want to get into vaping properly you need to get something that's at least £60 ($76.88 for reference) and some good quality oils that have a high nicotine content and don't taste like shit. Then you need the bloody coils (honestly vapes are a ballache in general, but that's a rant for another day). You're looking at about £80-90 upfront ($102.50-115.32) just to get set up for a proper switch and even then, the hit isn't the same. It's a substitute but as i said, if there's no genuine desire to quit smoking it won't work. Best case scenario she'll go a month vaping and having the occasional cig before she quits and goes back to smoking. Trying to make her quit is just stupid. Good intentions maybe but still.

Actually, Joytech makes decent pens for about 30-40 bucks. The tank's stable, the tips are replaceable, and they are stronger than the 15-20 vape pens a lot of high school kids get. I have one and it's lasted me for awhile. Granted it isn't as strong as my new set up, but it's handy to have. Unless you want the "burn" that cigs have, then you want to go for a 75-80 minimum set up. 

And yes, weaning. People who quit cold turkey have a higher chance of relapsing than people who try vaping and then quit after awhile with little or no chance of relapse. It's better to wean with vaping than to have someone quit and relapse a few weeks later.

 

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15 hours ago, Zeke said:

Actually, Joytech makes decent pens for about 30-40 bucks. The tank's stable, the tips are replaceable, and they are stronger than the 15-20 vape pens a lot of high school kids get. I have one and it's lasted me for awhile. Granted it isn't as strong as my new set up, but it's handy to have. Unless you want the "burn" that cigs have, then you want to go for a 75-80 minimum set up. 

And yes, weaning. People who quit cold turkey have a higher chance of relapsing than people who try vaping and then quit after awhile with little or no chance of relapse. It's better to wean with vaping than to have someone quit and relapse a few weeks later.

 

Ah, well i can't speak to the quality of a product i haven't used. With this one it wasn't just a case of the molded draw cracking. The metal screw that connected the draw to the tank decided to shear, and because the entire thing was a molded plastic monstrosity it wasn't a simple case of being able to switch out parts. Anyway, my point is. If you're a seasoned smoker (i'm coming to this from the pov of someone who used to smoke up to 50 a day) the pens simply won't give enough of the hit you need. They simply can't burn hot enough to deliver a sizable hit. Multiple puffs will counter that but the batteries in those things are tiny and will run out in the blink of an eye. If you're addicted to smoking the last thing you want is to find that the battery of the thing you use to get your fix has died on a night out. Before you know it you'll be bumming fags (in the European sense, stop sniggering) off of friends and strangers or just popping to a corner shop to get what you need. Quitting's about willpower in the end, which is why this thread's kinda pointless. No one seems to be factoring in whether OPs sister actually wants to quit, if she doesn't no amount of weening will change a thing. And for the record, weening isn't necessary the better choice. It can act as an excuse to give in to temptation. "Oh i've been good this week, only had a cig every other day. Think i'll have one to celebrate. Ohhhhhhh hello, that sweet nicotine. Well i've been good so i guess i can have another" and before you know it you're sitting there with lungs blacker than when you started and a vape that serves only as a paperweight. Depends on the person though, for instance if i wanted to quit i'd have to just stop cold turkey. Couldn't risk the slightest hit of nicotine because i know by now any concession would just lead me back to smoking.That's just me though, your mileage may vary.

3 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

If my spritzer idea doesn't work, try it with a taser.

This is certainly better than the vape idea. Give her an electric shock whenever she lights up a cig and before you know it she'll start having nervous breakdowns whenever she so much as sees a pack of cigarettes. Don't worry about the potential psychological trauma, at least she'll have a lower risk of developing cancer in 20 years and will be less of an annoyance.

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8 hours ago, [null] said:

This is certainly better than the vape idea. Give her an electric shock whenever she lights up a cig and before you know it she'll start having nervous breakdowns whenever she so much as sees a pack of cigarettes. Don't worry about the potential psychological trauma, at least she'll have a lower risk of developing cancer in 20 years and will be less of an annoyance.

Yea well, one problem at a time. =D

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