U-235 Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I'm not sure if this is a rant or rave, but I wasn't quite sure where else to put this. There's a sense of uncertainty, and I can't pin it down to any specific thought process. It bothers me so much. It's been a long time since I last felt this way, over a year now, but this sense of a general lack of empathy and lack of ability to comprehend the future. I don't understand why. I've got a great internship at the moment with high prospects for a possible job, and I've got a wonderful boyfriend. But even then, thing's aren't clicking. It almost feels reflective of the dreams I've been having lately. It's all been focused for the last three days on the same thing. I was hired to work for a facility in Florida owned by the US government. It was a large concrete building almost shaped like a water tower. Turns out it's a bio-weapon facility, producing them on a mass scale and I'd been brought on board to create a new method for extracting the final product. And despite it being a dream, it made sense. The words I used, the equations, the theory. I wake up and out of curiosity work it out, and the disturbing part, is that it made sense. I sit down, crunch the numbers on paper, and work out the math, and it worked. It was possible. "But it's just a dream, why should you worry about that?" I worry because of how realistic it was. Because of how much it makes sense. And it's seeping into my conscious life. But even this is only a contributor to my current state of mind, it's not the sole reason. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for, or even the point of this post. But thing's just don't feel right anymore, even though there isn't any form of trigger or anything. Advice if you have it? Maybe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llamapotamus Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 A realistic dream with a potentially bad outcome sounds pretty unsettling, but how much priority do you place on that? It's all in your head anyway, and you don't know if it's right or wrong. It just happens to work out mathematically. I mean, the future and uncertainty go hand-in-hand anyway. You can't be expected to predict the outcome. What are you, clairvoyant? If your internship leads to something, don't fight against it. That sounds like what you're doing, but maybe I misinterpreted your post. Oh well, take this for what it's worth (not much). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WileyWarWeasel Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Sounds like you want to develop biological weapons. ;V On a more serious note, I've read that dreaming is basically "after-hours" processing of the past/abstract concepts/current events/futures no matter how improbable. At the moment it sounds like you're processing feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. You know what also deals with ionizing radiation but has no worries about the future? Radiotrophic fungus. EDIT: Just noticed: 6 hours ago, U-235 said: But thing's just don't feel right anymore, even though there isn't any form of trigger or anything. It's also possible that changes are occurring around you say in the nuke industry that you're not paying attention to but that your subconscious is picking up on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victor-933 Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 here i sit so broken hearted came to shit but only farted 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lopaw Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I've mentioned a lot of math stuff subconsciously as well at times I've have forgotten. It is most likely you processing information in your sleep and getting confused over the result. That or you are feeling nervous about where this internship will go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
U-235 Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 Thank you guys for all the suggestions and your thoughts on it. I took a few moments to breathe, and I'm finding that I feel much better now. I was really worried it might have been the beginning to a depressive episode. Thankfully it wasn't though. But I think it probably was just me being worried about my future employment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Llamapotamus Posted August 7, 2017 Share Posted August 7, 2017 14 minutes ago, U-235 said: Thank you guys for all the suggestions and your thoughts on it. I took a few moments to breathe, and I'm finding that I feel much better now. I was really worried it might have been the beginning to a depressive episode. Thankfully it wasn't though. But I think it probably was just me being worried about my future employment. It's a legitimate concern, to be fair. I hope things go well for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
U-235 Posted August 7, 2017 Author Share Posted August 7, 2017 1 minute ago, Llamapotamus said: It's a legitimate concern, to be fair. I hope things go well for you! Thank you! As do I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greebles Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 You should probably stand. Have you tried writing a paper on what you worked out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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