Red Lion Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 While I was out running errands I stopped at a nearby Quicktrip to fill my gas tank and get a cup of coffee when someone came up to me with a petition to sign. I wasn't in the mood to be bothered but I figured I'd see what it was for just in case it was an issue I cared about. And to be fair, it was, it was a petition to pass non-discrimination laws for LGBT workers. Specifically it was for protecting trans individuals from being "Weeded out" by businesses who use tactics asking for your legal sex then asking if you have a preferred pronoun. This, in Salisbury, is usually done as bait, it's designed to look progressive by tricking people into volunteering their personal info. They can't outright ask, "Are you transgender?" but they can ask "Do you have a preferred pronoun?" 9/10 if you fill out a pronoun that doesn't match your legal sex your application gets filed in the paper shredder. The goal of this petition was to prevent businesses from asking the pronoun question all together. The idea being that employers shouldn't be able to ask potential employees to volunteer non-relevant information regarding orientation, pronoun preference, ect ect. Even so these are usually optional and not required for a person to fill out a lot of transgender people, particularly pre-transition youngsters, end up getting duped out of a job because they see what looks like a sign of tolerance and, potentially, acceptance and jump at the opportunity to be recognized. After a moments deliberation I signed her clipboard and expected that to be the end of it. It was not. No sooner had I signed the sheet when she decided it was a good time to make sure I was properly woke. Am I aware of the rampant transphobia in the workforce? Am I aware of discrimination against non-binary folks? Am I an active ally to the LGBT community? Blah blah blah solidarity, blah blah blah fight the powers that be. Jesus lady, I'm on your fucking side. I signed your petition and I will always vote in ways that are favorable to LGBT rights. Leave me and my coffee alone goddammit!!! After brusquely dismissing her and exiting the store she followed me to my car just to tell me that it was part of my privilege as a cis gendered, straight person that I could just easily walk away and ignore the plight of LGBT folks. Like, what the heck, I SIGNED YOUR PETITION. What more do you want from me? I don't have patience for being talked at. I especially don't have patience to be called transphobic or homophobic because I don't wanna stand around to be lectured at by someone who's never met me. And you know what? Call it prideful but if you go out of your way to paint me as hateful or uncaring then that's exactly what you'll get. I have no interest in proving anyone wrong and I certainly wouldn't waste my energy trying to convince people to change their image of me. Sure, I could tell her that I know exactly how it all feels, I still have to live half in the closet just to get by in this town. But why should I? Why does she need to know a damn thing about me when she's already made up her mind? I don't know why this is such a point of resentment for me. I know letting people think I'm some kind of indifferent asshole is not going to win anyone over, but winning people over feels almost like groveling. Like I'm just begging for people not to think badly of me. I'm caught between being aware that this behavior is petulant and immature and doing it anyway because if people are going to fucking assume things, let them. Ugh...I'm a mess. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socketosis Posted September 3, 2017 Share Posted September 3, 2017 People like that hurt the cause more than help to be honest. People you want to side with you are going to be more reluctant to if you berate them endlessly about how evil they are. Also, the fact she assumed you were straight, and also still talked down to you after signing it is pretty sad in itself. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshabi Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 LGBT has some of the most self-righteous people inside of it. Kind of scary that these people set us back more than help us. Just imagine if someone on the fence about LGBT support ran into them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 They give a new meaning to "Aggressively Gay" 12 hours ago, Toshabi said: LGBT has some of the most self-righteous people inside of it. Kind of scary that these people set us back more than help us. Just imagine if someone on the fence about LGBT support ran into them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vae Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 It would be kind of hilarious to see them do this to a well-passing, outspoken trans person though. "As a cis, you need to be aware of your privilege!" "Lol, what fucking privilege and what fucking cis?" I was having a conversation with a friend about this on Twitter, but it's the same thing as the "If you're not outraged, you're part of the problem" mentality. I hate this mentality. Are there shitty practices in society? Yes. But there is not enough caffeine or time in the world for me to devote my full emotion and attention to them. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Lion Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 56 minutes ago, Vae said: I was having a conversation with a friend about this on Twitter, but it's the same thing as the "If you're not outraged, you're part of the problem" mentality. I hate this mentality. Are there shitty practices in society? Yes. But there is not enough caffeine or time in the world for me to devote my full emotion and attention to them. This. I can't muster righteous anger every time someone brings up the plight of some broad demographic. I am 100% aware of the disadvantages that come with being queer. I'm also 100% aware of the starving children in Africa, the women who are victims of the sex trade, ect ect. If I devoted my time and energy to being physically outraged at every injustice I saw I wouldn't have time to sleep. I might devote a little more time and attention to LGBT rights because they are pertinent to me, but I still have an individual life that needs my focus and attention right now. I need to work, eat, sleep, take care of my mental health, maintain my relationships and figure out my own sexuality and gender. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wax Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 On 9/3/2017 at 11:12 PM, Red Lion said: The people around you (this person, your school board etc.) seem so stupid, I occasionally wonder if you live in some fantasy world where people just have no common sense or intelligence 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xaende Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 On 9/3/2017 at 6:12 PM, Red Lion said: ... Why does she need to know a damn thing about me when she's already made up her mind? I don't know why this is such a point of resentment for me. I know letting people think I'm some kind of indifferent asshole is not going to win anyone over, but winning people over feels almost like groveling. Like I'm just begging for people not to think badly of me. I'm caught between being aware that this behavior is petulant and immature and doing it anyway because if people are going to fucking assume things, let them. Ugh...I'm a mess. I can relate. This happens to me from time to time. Even at work, of all places. My motto is live and let live, but not everybody is aware of this. I'm an ally of just about anyone who's bullied, repressed, misjudged, underestimated, discriminated against... the list goes on. Unfortunately, judgy types just assume the worst things about me without taking the time to get to learn where I actually stand. It feels wrong to have to explain in detail how and where they're mistaken. As if I need to pat myself on the back, while bragging about how awesome I am and how they're mistaken. WTH? This doesn't sit well with me for two main reasons. 1) I shouldn't have to explain that I'm not the horrible person that they assume I am. And 2) Telling people that their judgments are wrong tends to make them defensive. It's ridiculous. I don't like being misjudged, but I'm not going to grovel for the approval of someone who demonstrates such poor judgment. My actions should already speak for themselves, but what do I know. Your reaction sounds reasonable to me, or at least understandable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Lion Posted September 6, 2017 Author Share Posted September 6, 2017 3 hours ago, Wax said: The people around you (this person, your school board etc.) seem so stupid, I occasionally wonder if you live in some fantasy world where people just have no common sense or intelligence There are reasonable, decent people here, but they aren't interesting to talk about. Mostly they leave me alone, I leave them alone we coexist peacefully. But the two major groups that I generally end up having issues with are the super old conservative bible thumpers and the young hipsters who resent them. The older generation is really extreme in their homophobia, xenophobia, racism and whatnot so the younger generation is equally extreme in the opposite direction. Add to that the fact that it's Salisbury, this town is fucking ridiculous. http://www.wsoctv.com/news/local/bucket-truck-used-to-remove-300-pound-man-wearing-kilt-tactical-gear-from-roof/533741518 This shit surprised no one when it happened because we're like Florida Lite down here. It also made the news a few weeks ago that we have a gang problem on top of the existing drug problems rampant in this shit hole. Hearing that 2 people were gunned down only a few miles from where I live should be cause for alarm, but after awhile you get desensitized to it. My sister's second grade classroom is in a dumpy little trailer behind the main building because they have no room for all of their students. Her school scored worse than 91% of schools in the state as far as academic performance. It is very run down, in spite of it's small size it has a very large student body about 70% of which are black and Hispanic minorities, there's a 30% poverty rate all around. Which, tbh, is probably why no one gives a shit about it. To stay on topic. An environment like this creates a lot of extremes an there are multiple people fighting to be the loudest voice. From that angle I can understand why the woman IS so desperate to try and get people to care. But I found her very off putting and with all the stress I'm under 24/7 I didn't want to deal with her. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrecker Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 I wish it was just fuck all... Where it wasn't a giant us against you, and just let's be us and okay with it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Urgh, I am deeply saddened that people like that exists, it really isn't fair that screeching tyrants are the outspoken ones that anti-LGBT people like to point at to prove their point. Can't we have some common-fucking-sense middle ground here, people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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