Coming Out Thread

[Monochromatic-Dragon]

I want this to be a continuation of the other thread we had on the old FA forums. There is a very long, helpful copypasta there that instead of copy-pasta-ing here I will leave the link to the thread via the "wayback machine" (https://web.archive.org/web/20110602131647/http://forums.furaffinity.net/threads/31826-Coming-Out-The-Thread)

This thread is for people to discuss coming out as LGBTAQ+. This should be considered a "safe place" within the forum rules for people to come out, receive advice and support for coming out or to tell their stories. 

Please note that this thread is not about "coming out" as furry. For some reason, it was a common misconception in the past. 

[Eggdodger]

Please note that this thread is not about "coming out" as furry. For some reason, it was a common misconception in the past. 

Hello, furry forum I signed up for

I have a confession

I'm furry

[Monochromatic-Dragon]

Hello, furry forum I signed up for

I have a confession

I'm furry

[Butters]

Hello, furry forum I signed up for

I have a confession

I'm furry

oh, darn. I thought this was gonna be your coming out as trans story. 

I'm very interested in that. 

[Kalmor]

Still not out as bi to my parents or anyone IRL.

Neither is my SO, we both feel it isn't exactly the right time to be out yet, which is a shame.

Once I move out and go to uni in September next year then we'll see. My older brother is gay and his coming out didn't really sit well with my dad to say the least. If there's one person I'm coming out to first then it's my brother. He'll be the most supportive since he's been through it.

I'm my dad's first biological son, and he fully expects grandchildren out of me (something something "carrying on the name" bullshit). He still might get them, heh, but not if I'm still with my current SO or another guy by the time I would actually start considering making decisions like that. Of course there's the option of surrogacy/adoption or some shit but as I said, it's way too early for me to even be thinking about those things.

[Monochromatic-Dragon]

A few months ago I came out to myself & the internet as Genderqueer, specifically identifying as both male and female genders. I had planned on coming out to my friend, but no coming out was necessary. I had dropped some very subtle hints, but being the very attuned person she was she picked up on them right away. So I never really "came out" to her, she just knew & understood right away, which has been great. I've also started wearing a binder occasionally (but I need to get a new and better one; got a $10 Chinese binder on Amazon and not only is it uncomfortable but it can cause tissue damage as well with extended use) 

As far as being "out" to anyone else I feel that it is much easier for them to approach me about it. Being genderqueer to me is not really like being trans where it requires a complete change on other's outlooks of me. I can still be me as I always was, but dressing and presenting as more masculine. It still feels weird, though, to be called by my full-name when I'm presenting as male. I feel like it shatters the illusion I am trying to create. My name can be shortened into something that is more gender neutral (from "Melissa" to "Mel") but I just haven't been going by that name yet. 

Coming out to my boyfriend is a much more sensitive topic. One time on accident he saw me browsing a forum on which I listed my gender as "bigender" and it raised some questions, but it hasn't really come up since. 

[Lisek]

I'm not 100% sure whether I'm bisexual or not, but if I came out to my parents as bisexual I'm pretty sure my father would kill me in a fit of rage.

Coming out to my boyfriend is a much more sensitive topic. One time on accident he saw me browsing a forum on which I listed my gender as "bigender" and it raised some questions, but it hasn't really come up since. 

I sure hope you don't try to keep it a secret for too long, that strikes me as a bad idea.

[#00Buck]

I'm a Bass-sexual. 

[Dijon]

I'm twenty-seven and I'm still not out to my parents ahahaha

but i'm also single so it doesn't really matter to me until i'm getting ready to settle down.

[Eggdodger]

 

oh, darn. I thought this was gonna be your coming out as trans story. 

I'm very interested in that. 

 

Oh, alrighty. I can oblige you.

I insisted on going back to therapy after Red died-- I was in a very bad place... I started seeing a new therapist. Turned out, he was oblivious as to how to help me; he said it seemed to him I "already [had] a firm handle" on what I wanted to do. That was true to an extent. I detailed my plan to him as to what I wanted to do; I just wasn't sure how to execute it. After my first session, I told my mom that I was trans over some Captain D's. I covered the basics: I'd need hormones, I'd need a rotary razor for a close shave, I'd need new clothes and eventually a new name. She took it "well", as far as I know, but doesn't really understand it. She sees it as a fad, I think; she was talking to me a few weeks ago about how all the girls nowadays seemed to be gay or bisexual, and how she was surprised there were any left for straight guys... I politely set her straight on that, but again, not sure it's getting through to her that sexuality/gender identity are not choices. The only real choice is whether or not to accept those aspects of yourself. That therapist dropped me as a client recently after my second appointment; he apparently thinks I'm doing a good job at self-government. I respectfully disagreed with him, but I suppose his professional opinion over my own mind won out.

I've come out to my closest friends, who have taken it in stride. They slip on pronouns frequently, but they've taken to calling me things like "lady" or "beautiful creature", etc. in a joking manner (most of them are straight and I still have manparts =v). They are also helpful in telling me whether or not I'm "passing", so I know how frequently to shave and what's appropriate to wear (although I still love and will likely always wear nerdy collared shirts with pockets).

Edited October 4, 2015 by Eggdodger

[DrDingo]

I'm practically bi, I guess.

I'm not really bothered about telling anyone, because I only ever want a girlfriend anyway and it would only cause needless complications.

[Monochromatic-Dragon]

I'm not 100% sure whether I'm bisexual or not, but if I came out to my parents as bisexual I'm pretty sure my father would kill me in a fit of rage.

I sure hope you don't try to keep it a secret for too long, that strikes me as a bad idea.

I'm not keeping it "secret"; I haven't really tried hiding my binder from him or anything (I even wore one of my masculine outfits while he was visiting this weekend) I'm just hoping that the subject can be breached again in a more natural way instead of making it a big deal. Because to me, it really isn't. I feel like I just need to assure him that I'm still his lady, and I don't want to be anything but a lady except I have this masculine side that wants to be shown every once in a while. 

@DrDingo yeah I think I can relate to that as I am in a rather awkward position with my romantic and sexual preferences. Romantically I'm attracted to everyone but I'm heterosexual and I can't see myself having a romantic relationship without the sexy bits. So I'm effectively only ever going to date cis men. 

[Kaizy]

So I mentioned it in the trangender thread, but yeah I'm a transgirl. I'd also consider myself pansexual, or at least panromantic because I'm still not sure on my sexual preferences. I lack much of a sex drive.

[Hewge]

I told a couple cousins that I was gay during a casual conversation, once.

One immediately gave the other a $20 note for some reason...

[Kalmor]

So I mentioned it in the trangender thread, but yeah I'm a transgirl. I'd also consider myself pansexual, or at least panromantic because I'm still not sure on my sexual preferences. I lack much of a sex drive.

I'm technically pan but I just say bi because it saves the explanation. XP

[HaruX3]

I was forced out of the closet to my mother, she went through my facebook and saw messages between me and a girl I was dating. That was a long and quiet year after that. She didn't talk to me much and she still thinks its "Just a phase" and she won't tell anyone because she's embarrassed of it.

My dad on the other hand is an awesome person and as soon as I said I like other girls he shrugged it off and just told me he knew for a while.

Then I learned my lesson and I came out to my dad that I'm Trans* and he didn't care, he used the right pronouns, the right name, everything. Once I had the safety net of my dad I came out to my mom and well, she rarely talks to me now.

fun times.

[Eggdodger]

I should mention that I never told my dad I was trans... I'm not sure how I feel about that. He was dying when I found out about it, and I didn't want to make it about myself. It didn't seem relevant at the time. I'm sure he would have loved me either way. Even so, if an afterlife exists, I should have given him that eternity to come to terms with it. I could have found a quiet moment between the two of us if I tried.

[Kaizy]

I'm technically pan but I just say bi because it saves the explanation. XP

Yeah I've heard that's the easier way of doing it unless you're talking to someone in the community that actually understands pansexuality.

[Spawtsie Paws]

Asexual as I have never been drawn to sex. I can, however, admire both male and female beauty. I just don't go seeking it person.

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

I'm a Bass-sexual. 

No, you're just annoying.

[#00Buck]

No, you're just annoying.

Is that why they are out to get you?

[MissFleece]

I came out to my mom accidentally. It just slipped out, mid conversation. I didn't even realize I had said anything off until I looked at her face and I ran the conversation back through my head. 

[#00Buck]

I came out to my mom accidentally. It just slipped out, mid conversation. I didn't even realize I had said anything off until I looked at her face and I ran the conversation back through my head. 

I remember that one.

[Luca]

I'm like 95% sure it's safe to call myself gay. So I do. I've surprised almost every person I've ever told, with the exception of a friend or two. Lots of "Oh. really?!", "Never would have guessed" shit. I don't hide it, but for the reason of avoiding another awkward conversation, I really don't bring it up unless it's relevant at all. My biological father doesn't know, I've been putting off telling him due to me knowing it's going to be the most awkward reaction out of them all. 

[Monochromatic-Dragon]

 

I insisted on going back to therapy after Red died-- I was in a very bad place... I started seeing a new therapist. Turned out, he was oblivious as to how to help me; he said it seemed to him I "already [had] a firm handle" on what I wanted to do. That was true to an extent. I detailed my plan to him as to what I wanted to do; I just wasn't sure how to execute it. After my first session, I told my mom that I was trans over some Captain D's. I covered the basics: I'd need hormones, I'd need a rotary razor for a close shave, I'd need new clothes and eventually a new name. She took it "well", as far as I know, but doesn't really understand it. She sees it as a fad, I think; she was talking to me a few weeks ago about how all the girls nowadays seemed to be gay or bisexual, and how she was surprised there were any left for straight guys... I politely set her straight on that, but again, not sure it's getting through to her that sexuality/gender identity are not choices. The only real choice is whether or not to accept those aspects of yourself. That therapist dropped me as a client recently after my second appointment; he apparently thinks I'm doing a good job at self-government. I respectfully disagreed with him, but I suppose his professional opinion over my own mind won out.

I've come out to my closest friends, who have taken it in stride. They slip on pronouns frequently, but they've taken to calling me things like "lady" or "beautiful creature", etc. in a joking manner (most of them are straight and I still have manparts =v). They are also helpful in telling me whether or not I'm "passing", so I know how frequently to shave and what's appropriate to wear (although I still love and will likely always wear nerdy collared shirts with pockets).

I'm glad that your mom has accepted it to some extend, and your friends as well. I don't think you can always "get through" to everyone about the nature of gender identity and sexuality but the really important part is that they are able to respect you and accept you for who you are. 

[LazerMaster5]

I'm bi leaning gay here. Definitely one hell of a sexual awakening in the past 6 months or so. My friends all know, but my parents are clueless. After all, I don't feel like making a big spectacle over it.

[Bloodshot_Eyes]

I'm out as trans, but I think that gender fluid might be more accurate. Most of the time I feel pretty neutral.

The other day I identified as a light-body, and that my body was just a projection of it into this physical plane; so that was weird. I mean, I immediately recognized my body as the medium I use to interact with shit in this lifetime, but it was trippy. 

So I guess I'll just come out with it, I'm a soul trapped in a material body. :U

 

[Revates]

I came out to my immediate family when I was 16. My Mother, Sisters and my Stepmother (her sister is a lesbian so I doubt she'd care) were fine with it and said they'd always known. Dad said he always knew and it was fine but I overheard him gossiping to my grandmother on the phone about it who I assume in told told the rest of the family. I don't think they appreciate it but meh oh well.

As for my friends nothing really changed.

[Imperial Impact]

Being gay is a meme

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

I am now certain that straight cis males are a minority here.

I feel so alone :V

 

Seriously though, this place is so full of different people

[Vitaly]

Never felt that I needed to tell my family, friends or any familiar people that I'm gay. People aren't very interested in your sexual preferences here.

[Imperial Impact]

[TrishaCat]

I'm bi but I can't bring myself to come out to my parents. Its not as if I'm afraid they'll hate me or something; They're very accepting. But knowing my Dad, I often worry that I'd be letting him down in some way or making him disappointed. He's very old and I know he won't be around for too much longer, most likely. I don't want him to die disappointed in his son. I'm not so worried about my mom, its just...him.

Although I don't think I really need to say anything. I don't see myself meeting anyone of the same sex in the foreseeable future, let alone someone of the opposite sex. I'm too asocial for that.

[shiy0]

i've told my family that i'm bi and they took it very well... actually much to well to be honest. my sisters even ask sometimes if i find somebody they like sexy too. as if they would have waited for it... ._.

[Zeke]

I came out as pansexual and most of my friends and family knew. I make jokes now and then about it.

[Guest]

I remember my stepdad freaking out when I told him me and a friend I've had since middle school kissed. He yelped a sharp 'NO' when my mom looked at him horrified. Turns out his 'NO' was a shock noise because I was no longer 13 and hated boys. 

I'm bisexual, but of course I'm not taken seriously because I'm with a very rough looking, lumberjack type dude. A man's man, if you will. I'm bisexual to the extreme- where I'm usually only attracted to painfully feminine women or crazy masculine men. I love the extremes of the spectrum. Dunno why. 

However, I flirt effortlessly with dudes (even to the point of accidentally flirting with people- I think I'm just making friends! D:) but when I put my mind to it, I'm quite devastating when it comes to the charm bomb. Girls? Oh fuck, I lose my cool so fast. Especially if they're my type. Huge butts, long legs? I can't. 

[MuttButt]

Hello, furry forum I signed up for

I have a confession

I'm furry

[Ratical]

I'm only out to people in this fandom. IE, the folks on this site and people I meet at... well, meets, heh. I'm just afraid it would be too awkward if I came out now after all this time. Plus, it really wouldn't change much.

What's wonderful though is that I've met some people in the past few months who've made me feel so much better about it. Not that I was self-hating or anything, but it's hard to juggle my sexual identity with faith sometimes.

[TrishaCat]

[Nolorio]

I guess technically I'm out to anyone that mentions it.  I don't say anything about it unless someone directly asks me, so only a few people know.  I don't really care if anyone knows, it's nothing I see I need to hide from anyone I know since generally they're accepting, which is really great.

[LazerMaster5]

In the Furry Fandom, everyone is bi until proven otherwise.

According to census surveys of the fandom, almost half of the fandom is bisexual. Now that's interesting.

 

Edited October 6, 2015 by LazerMaster5

[Augmented Husky]

In the Furry Fandom, everyone is bi until proven otherwise.

According to census surveys of the fandom, almost half of the fandom is bisexual. Now that's interesting.

 

id like to see a sourse proving that

[Llamapotamus]

I'm twenty-seven and I'm still not out to my parents ahahaha

but i'm also single so it doesn't really matter to me until i'm getting ready to settle down.

Same here. Bi, but it doesn't really merit a mention in conversation because I'm not actively looking for partners anyway. Wouldn't expect any adverse reactions if I did, though.

So I mentioned it in the trangender thread, but yeah I'm a transgirl. I'd also consider myself pansexual, or at least panromantic because I'm still not sure on my sexual preferences. I lack much of a sex drive.

Your body replaced its sex drive with a pizza drive.

I'm out as trans, but I think that gender fluid might be more accurate. Most of the time I feel pretty neutral.

The other day I identified as a light-body, and that my body was just a projection of it into this physical plane; so that was weird. I mean, I immediately recognized my body as the medium I use to interact with shit in this lifetime, but it was trippy. 

So I guess I'll just come out with it, I'm a soul trapped in a material body. :U

 

Living in a material world...

[MuttButt]

I've told my girlfriend that I'm kinda into guys. She took it very well and even asked if I wanted to fool around with a guy to see if I like it. I guess she was worried that I was secretly gay and she wanted to find out for sure. I told her I appreciated the offer but I couldn't cheat on her in good conscience, even with her permission.

Maybe a threesome if we find the right person o///o

[TrishaCat]

id like to see a sourse proving that

He's exaggerating a little, but basically 30% of furries are bisexual.

http://www.klisoura.com/ot_furrysurvey.php

Edited October 6, 2015 by Battlechili

[Guest]

I wish I were straight

[Taikugemu]

Was^

And i'm still in the closet.

[LazerMaster5]

I wish I were straight

Meh. It's better to be bi, it means more options.

[Sidewalk Surfboard]

You know, I'm bisexual, but I've had more than one occasion where some SJWs accused me of being straight. I find that funny.

[Imperial Impact]

Cumming out