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My mom wants me to have a girlfriend, sooo bad.


DevilishlyHandsome49
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Another asexual here. (Possibly aromantic as well.) I'm really not that interested in romantic relationships, and to be honest, I don't think it's really fair of me to get in a relationship with someone, unless I knew the other person was also asexual. (And so far, I've met very few asexuals in person. The ones I have met are all in relationships already. ^^; )

Thankfully, my parents have stopped asking me about relationship stuff now, for the most part. (My mom used to ask me if I was gay, though. :v)
Like others here have mentioned, I also used the excuse that I was focusing on school... Which is true.

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My mother never did this. She respects me and my choices, even my decision to not have children. Which is bizarre considering she holds marriage and having children to be some high honor, and wants to be a grandparent.

Instead, I'm the one who wants to find a girlfriend (or boyfriend if I felt like getting murdered by my father, which I don't).

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oh my... yeah i know exactly what your talking about dev. although it was never my mother bugging me with this. it was my father who did that. i said that i was not interested multiple times to that moment but in the end he just kept going until i was so stressed out and pressured from it that i ended up being in a hospital again.well the good thing out of all this is that he never asked me again after it happened.

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If I were a parent, I'd be more concerned about my kid practicing safe sex (or no sex) and staying out of toxic or abusive relationships.

I hate when people play the the "girls/boys won't notice/like you if..." card, personally, because it sounds so goddamn manipulative. 90% of the time, the person seems to actually be saying, "I wish you would/wouldn't..." without being willing or able to own up to that. Not to mention, older people who play said card often have little-to-no idea of what younger people look for in a date or a mate anyway, so they end up sounding tragi-comically clueless.

I'm in a bit of a cranky mood this week, but your mom needs to learn some fucking boundaries, Devilish. Her behavior is intrusive, rude, uncool, disrespectful to both you and these various girls, and not at all cute or funny.

The family name might die with me, but my nuclear family has never bugged me about it. They've told me that they will be happy either way.

Again, crankiness disclaimer here, but if I had a family member who had a habit of doing this, I'd be awfully tempted to prank 'em with a fake pregnancy scare, by pretending to start neglecting my schoolwork or other responsibilities in favor of dating, and/or by pretending to show interest in someone I know would drive them up the wall. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW MOM, ARE YOU HAPPY?

Of course, the mature response is to just tell her that her behavior annoys you, and makes you feel disrespected and violated (or however it makes you feel), and to threaten to end the conversation if she brings up the topic or engages in these antics again (and then follow through if she does). Captain Awkward (look her up) has some great scripts for drawing these boundaries and ending rude/intrusive interactions.

 

 

 

Edited by Troj
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My parents always nag me about it whenever it comes up and it does get annoying so I get your position (to a degree). Fortunately it almost never comes up and I had a girlfriend a few years back so they don't nag me about being gay.

I have a very quiet life relationship wise nowadays, mainly because everyone in high school seems like an idiot/bitch/asshole but I can live with it. Not like I talk to them outside of school anyway...

 

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