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Awesomeify a boring power


Chaosmasterdelta
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Safe people that got lost in the desert.

The power of typing at light speed. But only typing.

I would have a machine built that can create energy from my keystrokes like a generator and be paid to sit and type crap

The power to make Mashed Potatoes Hard like Concrete, only Mashed Potatoes as whole ones don't work

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The Human Lighthouse, who saves sailors from shipwreck in parts of the world that electricity and fire haven't reached yet simply by walking around and around on top of a very tall tower with a handrail.

The power to turn parking tickets into warm tofu

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Producing glowing poo that can be used as a natural and safe alternative to plutonium for power plants.

 

Ability to lengthen hair at will

plutonium is already both safe and natural tho

added ability to finely control the hair

 

ability to smell everything for miles around

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You can hear the ants' thoughts and mentally command them to do your bidding. This includes flying ants so you can maybe achieve liftoff with enough of them, so you got flight too in addition to being able to sniff out picnics.

The power to melt into a puddle of non-toxic goo.

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plutonium is already both safe and natural tho

Also it doesn't glow, and just glowing doesn't make something radioactive. The urban myth goes back to a brand of luminescent paint that coincidentally happened to be radioactive.

Back on topic! Melting into goo makes you a brilliant infiltrator, able to sneak into the highest security facilities simply by oozing through grills and ducts that no normal person could get through. Of course you have to do it naked, and you really have to be careful not to get drunk!

The Power of Attorney!

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...First off, how is that a boring power? That's awesome! >:v

My first thought was to use said power to weave filter mesh fine enough to strain microplastics from seawater, but large enough to let plankton pass through. Because sometimes I think about ocean pollution more than I should. And yes, this is probably weirdly specific.

Hmm... How about... The ability to microwave food to the perfect temperature each time?

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Well you didn't say that it required an actual microwave oven, so I give you:

Microwave Man! Crime's Goose is Cooked!

He fights crime by making criminals' heads explode. The only defence against this awesome attack is to prick yourself all over with a fork.

The power to wear the same clothes every day for a month without smelling.

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You could be the best drug smuggler ever because everyone at airport security would be all like 'Oh wow, this person is just so awesome looking he/she/it can't possibly be a naughty criminal!'

The ability to swallow whole and safely regurgitate anybody whose surname begins with 'TR'

Edited by Faust
Oops, 'ends' instead of 'begins'
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That power is already awesome! The power of life and death over anyone? Brilliant! Sex could get a little bit awkward though.

"Are you a necrophiliac?"
"Yes. No. Yes. Ok, about 50% of the time. Technically. But she was alive when I finished."

The power to eat shit and crap out the food that it originally was.

Edited by Faust
Minor typos
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  • 3 months later...

Um, make millions as the greatest golfer of all time? I could simply smack the ball with the putter any which way and it would always land in the hole...Seriously that power is awesome...you were supposed to create a boring one! xD

 

The ability to change a person's sexuality at will.

3 hours ago, Khaki said:

Show that pesky mouse who's the boss by shagging his missus.

WTF?!?! :S

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