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What the hell was that "doctor" guy?!


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I just remembered this today, I had forgot all about it.

My mother is a very gullible person, and when I was a teenager she took me to see this "doctor". He had his own little practice and everything, but what kind of "doctor" he actually was has never been elaborated upon. He made me hold something that I realize was most likely an e-meter, but this guy was no Scientologist. He later put me in a room, alone, with a device with many dials on it that he set to arbitrary positions, for maybe twenty minutes - this thing had no screen or anything that could convey any data so that was confusing.

He "prescribed" this...thing. Now here is the most confusing part - it is almost unbelievable - he gave me a clear and elongated plastic bead, in a plastic bag. I was supposed to carry this in my pocket most of the day, and it would make me feel better. I was to never take out of the bag or it would, who knows, lose its magic? My mother said it would "absorb toxins" or some rot.

I honestly don't know why I bothered with this shit, maybe it was the depths of completely untreated depression that made me not give a shit that she dragged me to this asshole twice a month. I put the thing in my pocket because, hey, it couldn't hurt me. I believed absolutely none of this nonsense.

I called him the "voodoo doctor" whenever I talked about him to my mother, I was in the midst of my "asshole atheist" phase and eventually put my foot down and told my mother she was a gullible moron and refused to deal with the guy anymore. (This did not go over well, but at least I stopped wasting my time with this nonsense).

I really, really need to know what the fuck this guy was doing. Is this some specific scam nonsense or did he make it all up? Someone has to know!

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That was no e-meter. That was a measuring tool for your soul. The room you were in was a portal to hell. Expected something fancy? Well, EVERYONE would know hell existed if it was something fancy. You stayed there for 20 minutes because that is the approximate time for your soul to slip to hell through the open portal. The ball was simply for placebo. Hey, after extracting your soul he can't just let you off with "Allright, you can go now". Got to keep up the image!

Oh, by the way. Sorry for your loss. You are going to hell. To be more precise, you are already in hell but you don't know as your conciousness is still on earth, but your soul is already in hell, serving the devil.

For my professional explanation I expect to see 20 buck on my bank account by tomorrow. Thank you for your time. See you next month!

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The world of scam medicine is vast and ever expanding.  It almost defies any attempts at categorization because it never needs to truly justify its treatments with evidence and when backed into a corner it can always just make up some brand new bullshit.  Maybe if you could get the doctor's name or what any of the so called treatments were named I can try to look it up for you.

Also on a related note if somebody ever tells you that something removes/absorbs toxins, without specifying exactly which toxins it affects, that is a major red flag for some medical bullshit.

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