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Tyranno's bottom 10 movies ('15-)'16


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Because Phoenixed Needs Threads I'm posting this here. So are going to be horror movies because I watch little else. The main rule here is that because so many good horror movies get known of word of mouth in recent years, and I can't watch everything, some potentially good movies don't get watched until the next year (and inevitably, this can happen with the bad ones too)

The "life's too short" list:

The Conjuring 2
The third Purge movie
Ouija: Some prequel, sequel or something

Honorable mentions:

When a Stranger Calls remake - made in '06, but premiered on a certain channel this year.

Any found tooage movie that made me wonder by the end if I'd actually watched it.

10: Black Mountain

This movie featured a bunch of characters who had few group scenes and I couldn't even tell how many people there were. I thought there were four of five of these scientists when there were actually eight. Also, by focusing on scenes where something was off, there was no sense of paranoia. I'm not going to wonder about whether these people are infected by some strange virus if only scenes relating to the viral infection are in the movie.

9: The Other Side of the Door

This movie actually meant well, I thought, but unfortunately it just scary. It couldn't even scare the teenagers who thought being startled by loud noises qualified as being scared. Despite its efforts to be a character-driven story, I just didn't care about them.

8: The Forest

Some people thought it was disrespectful to make a horror movie about Japan's suicide forest. Personally I don't see the problem because this could've been based in the woods by my house and it wouldn't make a difference. Apparently, spirits are trying to trick people by deceiving them with illusions, but its too heavy handed and the audience can almost always tell whether something is an illusion or not.

7: Claws

This movie's name is also the name of a cat I know. But that isn't the problem. The problem is that this movie about a giant crab on the rampage is so underwhelming I just can't imagine anyone buying and being satisfied by it.

6: The Landlord

I expected this movie to be filled by the paranoia and terror of a couple of family whose landlord is spying on them through in their house. But unfortunately it was mostly about the very generic drama of this couple and occassionally, we get a reminder they're being watched.

5: Scream Park

A fairly generic, uninspired slasher movie wherein the writers and director were pretty much sleepwalking.

4: Mercy

Four brothers and their father are watching the mother, who is on life support, trying to decide whether or not to give her mercy and then some masked people start trying to kill them. The story is told in a very incoherent way and doesn't make you feel for anyone in the family.

3: The Lake House

Some would argue Platinum Dunes wasdoing little than giving music video directors an excuse for a movie to help them get a role directing an actual movie. This movie is like second-rate, imitation Platinum Dunes. 

2: The ReZort

Hunters in a zombie "game park" suddenly get attacked by a bunch of zombies. But really, the quasi-SJW viewpoint of this movie was just irritating. If you thought it was a matter of time before the SJW crowd starting campaigning for the equal rights of serial killers and pedophiles (who don't have their urges by choice, so they are technically minorities), wait until you see the zombie rights activist in this movie! Although this character isn't the protagonist, if the movie doesn't agree with her, it's not written well enough to tell.


To summarise the first three quarters of this movie, some vacuous girls do and say vacuous things. I don't think I need to elaborate on why this gets my award for the year's worst.

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