Update and Thank you to Phoenixed Forums

[GemWolf]

Disclamer: I am not after bumpats  

 

Ok so this is an update regarding the ADHD/ADD and ODD issue with my son. As many of you will remember, it caused quite a stir on the forum.

I would like first of all thank you all for what you said on that thread because although I was offended by it, it also made me think really really hard about what was best for my son. I showed all the comments to my partner (who is also Leo's other mom) and after having a chat, we decided to take another drastic step to fully ensure we were doing the right thing.

I phoned Queensland Health (a system run by the Australian government) and explained our case. I expressed deep concerns with Leo's diagnosis, telling them we are fearful that doctors were taking the easy way out - or they were assuming we wanted the easy way out. Queensland Health gave us the details of a place called Minds and Hearts, a clinic who are against giving drugs to children unless absolutely necessary. Now although their main focus is autism, they also deal with ADHD cases as well. I gave them a call immediately and pushed and pushed them to see us asap as Leo was due to start is his medication. Surprisingly, they were able to squeeze us in that very day as they had a cancellation (though my eyes nearly popped out my skull when I heard the cost in $$$). Never the less, money is nothing when it comes to our children's well being so we took the appointment and headed straight to them in the city. 

Once there, they phoned all of the doctors that Leo had seen and (although it took over 2 hours) they were able to finally get all the information and notes emailed to them. After that, with a friendly environment suitable for young kids, they monitored Leo daily (we had to go there every day for 4 hours at a time for a whole week, so Leo was leaving school early last week for these appointments). Interestingly, during that very week we received a phone call from Leo's teacher telling us that Leo has become out of control at school. He was throwing things, hitting and spitting other kids and the teachers, screaming and being completely disobedient. In the words of his teacher: "Leo's behavior has become increasingly bad this fortnight, and neither consequences nor rewards have any effect on him like they do his classmates". His teacher then agreed to discuss this with the clinic should they call. I told the clinic briefly what his teacher had said, but I requested that they phone her because I do not want to effect their findings by a bias attitude. Thankfully, they did phone the teacher. 

Anyway, cutting a long story short (because I could go on and on about the events that week), their findings have put our minds at ease. 

What Minds and Hearts concluded - Leo has a chronic case of ADHD rarely seen in children his age. Leo also displays overwhelming symptoms of ODD. In his specialized case, it is our professional opinion that Leo will not properly function academically or socially without properly administered medication.  We approve the use of Ritalin, to be taken under strict instructs of Dr .... (Leo's original Dr). 

They also told me that in the number of years they have been operational (you know I completely forget how may years that was now), Leo is only the 4th child that they have ever agreed needed medication for his condition. 

Three days ago, Leo started his low dosage Ritalin medication. I requested that he have just enough to help him at school, and to have social abilities with his classmates. This is exactly how he has been medicated. The changes are amazing. For the very first time, Leo told his sister that he loves her (he has never done this before, even his sister was shocked), for the first time ever, Leo and his sister have been playing and sharing games. It brings tears to my eyes.

He is still a handful and is still naughty - and that is good, because all children are.

Thank you pheonix forums, for helping me to understand and giving me the chance to make sure we were doing the right thing.  

[Vallium]

I didnt really doubt you in the first thread, you didnt seem like you were reaching for meds first thing, and people against it were just seriously concerned about how serious of an issue it is based on personal experiences.

I'm glad you took all the steps you needed and actually did listen to what others had to say, I think those are pretty trademark values and it's not often people follow through with that. 

Again, glad he's doing better. And if you end up not getting asspats I wouldn't get inflammatory against it, you know yourself what youre doing

[Phausk]

Good luck!

[Clove Darkwave]

It's always worth it to understand what you are handling when it comes to medication, glad your mind is at ease OP. Anxiety is a hell of a "drug" for the mind.

[shiy0]

it is not the fact that you listened to us even though you may got offended a lil bit or the knowing that everything went well wich makes me happy to hear. it is the passion you bring up to ensure your kid grows up and lives the best way it can be.

i'm glad that he has you.

please keep supporting him like that. : 3

[Wrecker]

Don't be fooled by a bunch of schmucks on a forum that haven't even met your kid first-hand. That's ridiculous.

You're a mother, you know what's up, and you were right off the hop - go figure.

You shouldn't be thanking anybody, especially having to fork out more money over something that you knew was out of sorts before a bunch of people miles away decided to spew out an opinion over it. How many of them were even parents, do you figure?

Seriously, don't let people on the internet dictate anything about your own parenting. Leave opinions like that that to yourself, your family, and maybe close friends that actually know your child.

Non of these people here have seen any signs or symptoms first hand, and there's a lot to be left to imagination when it's just you recounting your experience in text.

You know what's going on, you're the mom.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Wrecker

[GemWolf]

Don't be fooled by a bunch of schmucks on a forum that haven't even met your kid first-hand. That's ridiculous.

You're a mother, you know what's up, and you were right off the hop - go figure.

You shouldn't be thanking anybody, especially having to fork out more money over something that you knew was out of sorts before a bunch of people miles away decided to spew out an opinion over it. How many of them were even parents, do you figure?

Seriously, don't let people on the internet dictate anything about your own parenting. Leave opinions like that that to yourself, your family, and maybe close friends that actually know your child.

Non of these people here have seen any signs or symptoms first hand, and there's a lot to be left to imagination when it's just you recounting your experience in text.

You know what's going on, you're the mom.

wow! *hugs* where were you earlier? lol thanks though, your a champion! 

[FlynnCoyote]

Good to hear this thing was sorted.

*pats bum*

Edited November 24, 2015 by FlynnCoyote

[Kinare]

Unfortunately @Wrecker, there are plenty of parents out there that do need to be told how to parent by people who have either had bad experiences because of their careless parents or have made mistakes themselves as parents and want to prevent others from doing the same. There's nothing wrong with cautioning someone on it and there's nothing wrong with being extremely careful when it comes to your child. I was not one of those people getting all worked up over it, but I understand their concerns and I know (mostly, at least) they weren't just trying to make Gem out to be a shitty mom, they just wanted her to truly understand what the possibilities were.

As I said already, but worth a repeat in this thread: I think it's wonderful how much you want to do right by little Leo. He's very lucky to have such attentive and caring parents who put him before thenselves.

Edited November 25, 2015 by Kinare

[Wrecker]

An internet forum would be pretty well on the bottom of the list for best places to seek parenting advice.

[Kinare]

There's plenty of worse places. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. Depends on the type of forum too, forums can be great for advice. Fuzzies aren't always good advice givers, but I really think in most cases they try, they just come off as harsher than they mean. Not all of them try, some try harder to be jersey more than anything, but it's generally pretty obvious when they do so.

[Vallium]

Its a shame she had to spend more money because people had to question her methods as a parent. Guess the lesson here is people on the internet arent professionals. Second opinions do matter sometimes but if research was already thoroughly looked into to begin with its not a big deal. Youd think the people responsible would apologize and acknowledge that she's doing well.