FlynnCoyote Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 Lately I just seem to struggle more and more with even the basics of getting through each day. I get up, I drink coffee and I go to work. I finish work, I drive home, fuck around at my laptop for a few hours and go to bed. Breaks in this routine only come if I visit family on the way home for a short while, or if work goes longer. I'm only really happy when I'm being creative, ie drawing, writing, painting or sculpting. Naturally, trying to keep this up every day after a full day of work is exhausting. I'm lucky to manage a drawing once every week or two now. There was a time I could churn out two pics a night four nights a week. That drive is well and truly gone. I want it back but I don't know where to look. I have a manuscript about a third the way done. I'll probably self publish once it's finished, but recently I don't know if it ever will be. I dabbled in cosplay, it looked fun and easy enough but lost interest partway through a necron costume. I've canceled commissions because I honestly can't be fucked to work on them unless they fit exactly into the kind of thing I want to draw at that time. I remember two points in my life where I was at my happiest. The precious six months when I was with the woman I thought I'd marry, and a year of my life back in my early twenties I spent practicing various martial arts. Since losing both of these things my mentality has just dropped to the point I don't even care about the projects I used to be excited about now that I can actually afford them. The world has become bland and hollow, and dealing with half a generation of retarded snowflake entitled kids makes me less and less concerned about waking up each morning by the week. The one thing keeping me going is a strong desire to prove so many of those fuck faced little cunts wrong and show them that the world owes them fucking nothing. Preferably in the harshest manner possible. I think I need to get back to regular martial arts training. My physical health has deteriorated and it's probably affecting my mental and emotional well being. Maybe I'll meet someone else.along the way and calm back down. Right now I don't have a real purpose, and the reality that nothing I do matters is heavier than usual. I'll get through this. Last time this happened to me a few "friends" disappeared. Gonna be fun to see who's there on the other side of this trip. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.