Rant/Rave: A bad New Years turned good

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

So, I started off this New Year in a not so ideal way. I slept past the countdown in my region, Its something I've never missed in my entire life.It was completely by accident; I was supposed to wake my mom up in time for it but I got sleepy after a meal I had and rest speaks for itself. 6 minutes after the new year comes in, my mom stop comes into my room saying we missed it, in a sort of humorous "Oh well" kinda way. Me, still in a daze, couldn't quite believe it. After a few minutes had passed, it sunk in that I missed out on something that I really wanted to celebrate. 

2015 was overall, a pretty shit year and I know I'm not the only one who thinks that. For every good thing that happened (and the good was very few) something twice as bad followed. It felt like I could never really catch a break and it all felt hopeless. I'd spend days just laying in bed or mindlessly playing a game or sleeping. No motivation, no desire to do things, no productivity. I'd get sparks every now and again but thats just what they were. Sparks that would go out as soon as they came in.

So when the New Year was right around the corner, I took it as my day to give a big "fuck you" to 2015, have a drink in my hand and celebrate with my friends online, embracing the New Year with open arms.

How do I spend it in reality? Sleeping. The same thing I did in the past year. It felt like 2015 got in one final punch on me

Now I don't really believe in superstition, I hate it. Thing is, when you're in a family that always believes it and applies it to almost everything, you find yourself believing in the shit too and here I was in bed, staring at the clock thinking that because I slept into the new year, that would dictate my actions for the rest of the year. That 2016 would just be repeat. I'd be doomed to another 365 days of the same insane roller coaster. I shut my eyes and fell back to asleep, wanting to believe this wasn't happening. Didn't help that when my mom came in the room a second time, she just said "Goodnight" when she usually would do the whole mushy good night routine. Mind you, she was extremely tired too, so maybe she didn't realize she said it in such a...dead way. It almost sounded like she was disappointed in me for not waking her up and not being up for the countdown. I don't know, I could be entirely wrong in my interpretation of it. Vague interactions do a good job of making you paranoid.

I wake up in hour later and vent about what happened to a few friends of mine, thinking I was probably coming off as a whiny bitch. Thankfully, they could understand my feelings towards the whole thing thing by putting themselves in my shoes and they game some stellar advice. Why should I let the beginning of the year dictate how I'll be for the rest of year? Why should I feel glum because I missed out on something as arbitrary as a ball drop (in come the gay jokes :V) what matters is that I focus on improving anyway. Yeah I missed out on a chance to do that countdown with my friends, but hey, I still got to talk to them afterwards. Share some laughs and few good stories. And its not like my plans of improving in almost every aspect of myself are ruined cause I missed the new year by 6 minutes. And if my mom IS actually upset with me about missing the ball drop? Tough. I'm not gonna be down because of it anymore. Its the new year. I've had it with being upset over small things. Time to focus on the bigger stuff and push forward.

So before I close this off, I might as well give my ending 2015 statement. As rough as this year was, a lot of you guys here were the highlight of all the good of this year. I'd see so many people on this forum say they felt worthless or they felt they didn't contribute much to anything and I really feel those people don't give themselves enough credit for just how helpful they are. Something as small as them making a funny post or making a thread about RAE or chatting with me for a few minutes or even commenting on how shit a certain bad furry movie is, was enough to bring a smile on my face during times of hardship and give me a glimmer of hope and I'm sure it had the same affect on other people as well :3 Heh, ironically, I should probably give myself more credit too due to the fact that I make people happy during the movie streams I host.

TL:DR My New Years didn't start off how I wanted, but whatever, I'm still drinking tonight anyway...and then probably pass out from drinking too much and falling asleep :V

Edited January 1, 2016 by DevilishlyHandsome49

[Chrysocyon]

New Year's is gay, balls are dropping. :V

Anyway, don't let it get you down. I actually didn't watch the ball drop either, I was sitting outside watching my redneck neighbours set off fireworks and possibly shooting guns, I can't tell, it's the ghetto.

2015 was pretty rough for me as well.  In fact, New Year's Day last year was a particularly horrible day for me, so I really started that year wrong, lol.  But being at the bottom just meant that things could only go up, and feel like there was a lot of improvement in my life during 2015.  Getting a new job, getting back into art, meeting a lot of cool people online (I'm looking at you Dev); there was a lot of good mixed with the bad.  I actually have high hopes for 2016.

I didn't drink anything last night either. I should probably rectify that tonight but I'm too lazy to go to the liquor store.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

6 minutes ago, Chrysocyon said:

New Year's is gay, balls are dropping. :V

Anyway, don't let it get you down. I actually didn't watch the ball drop either, I was sitting outside watching my redneck neighbours set off fireworks and possibly shooting guns, I can't tell, it's the ghetto.

2015 was pretty rough for me as well.  In fact, New Year's Day last year was a particularly horrible day for me, so I really started that year wrong, lol.  But being at the bottom just meant that things could only go up, and feel like there was a lot of improvement in my life during 2015.  Getting a new job, getting back into art, meeting a lot of cool people online (I'm looking at you Dev); there was a lot of good mixed with the bad.  I actually have high hopes for 2016.

I didn't drink anything last night either. I should probably rectify that tonight but I'm too lazy to go to the liquor store.

D'awwww you! ;3 thanks. You're one of the many people I was referring to :3

And hey, we can still drink symbolically if you're too lazy to go to the liquor store. Just make a lot of typos to simulate that you're drunk  

[Guest]

Even though I don't partecipate very often, I find it very nice of you to organize and host the FurriesRuinEverythingTV thing, it's a very nice social occasion to just fuck around with some online buddies. It's one of those things that seem small but are actually much more beneficial than they look like. It puts a smile on my face, it hardly gets any more beneficial than this except for money

You're a chill, pleasant guy that doesn't take himself too seriously and that's what I like about you. I think you deserve a prettier year and that's what I will be wishing upon you. Cheers mate

 

Edit: Oh yeah, another thing, I didn't watch them fireworks either. Couldn't care less 'bout them . So, even if for different reasons, you're not alone dude

Edited January 1, 2016 by Guest

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

40 minutes ago, Amiir said:

Even though I don't partecipate very often, I find it very nice of you to organize and host the FurriesRuinEverythingTV thing, it's a very nice social occasion to just fuck around with some online buddies. It's one of those things that seem small but are actually much more beneficial than they look like. It puts a smile on my face, it hardly gets any more beneficial than this except for money

You're a chill, pleasant guy that doesn't take himself too seriously and that's what I like about you. I think you deserve a prettier year and that's what I will be wishing upon you. Cheers mate

 

Edit: Oh yeah, another thing, I didn't watch them fireworks either. Couldn't care less 'bout them . So, even if for different reasons, you're not alone dude

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad your New Years went well and I only wish you the best for the rest of 2016

Here's to us and shitty furry movies

 

[Chrysocyon]

33 minutes ago, DevilishlyHandsome49 said:

Here's to us and shitty furry movies

 

Oh god, it's going to be a whole new year of terrible furry movies and cringe.  I think I'm going to need some liquor after all.

But really, I look forward to FRETV every week, it's some of the most fun I've had in while and strangely inspirational.  You definitely deserve more credit for hosting that, it's something special.

[shiy0]

and i still can't believe that chryso really drew that... ehm... anyways.

at the beginning of the last year i thought to myself that it will be something special and it was. not quite in the way i thought it to be but in the end look at it. after... this certain things wich happened i finally decided to come to fa/f to clarify what we furrys are really about and it could definetly went worse. i mean you guys are such an awesome bunch and it is really nice to know you. even if my presence is most in devs streams( im just not the talker) it is nice to be here and sometimes spread my words. also in the meantime of revealing some things of my life to you guys, making friends (i guess) and getting used to being in a forum again i got rid of my useless therapist, corrupted office workers and most importantly my father (thatbitchassmofogawdihatethistoxicpieceofftrashsomuch) and went straight to my mom in sweden to finally build up a goddamn life.

sure i'm kinda stuck now here with waiting cuz some slowpoke lawyers back in germany still need to organize shit but when that is done pweh. then it will hopefully be going.

and now look at me go... i'm kinda hijacking your thread with that dev but sorry. it seems i just needed to let that go. also as one off your most loyal watchers i have to thank you for organizing and hosting FRETV. even though i relived a childhoodtrauma with one of the movies you have played i don't think there could be something more social than some hours of torture with some fellow furs. this might even means actually way to much to me but hey i can't really help it.

so... reflecting on all what happend your buddies are so right and nice to tell you. not counting into a new year? who cares?! all that should count is that you are actually there to live through it and improve yourself in that time wich is given to you. so you can leave a mark on this world people will tell about and remember. and with FRETV you actually left a good one already. that stuff is so bad you just can't forget it. no matter how hard you try it haunts your dreams for all eternity...

anyways i should come to an end now. skal to ya all! gonna search for the leftovers of my sanity now... (jeez is that late again) (also im not drunk just... regreting certain things...makes me want to talk somehow)

[Vallium]

lol, same dude.

my new years was spent with my family driving really, really far away. I didnt have a phone to be occupied on the car ride. The place was Christmassy, festive, vibrant, and interesting but 5 minutes in my energy dropped and I was dead tired...probably because I worked so much.

we only walked around a little and then went back home, to which I curled up in the back sleep and slept, something I never do not since childhood.

We got home at 11 something almost twelve. I went straight to bed, the tv was on in the living room and I was too apathetic to care.

I sleepily sent a text to a special someone about hope and appreciation or something.

then I slept.

TL;DR same bruh, same

but overall, the new year will bring big changes for me myself. Im anxious, but prepared and hopeful.

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

@shiy0 bah, you didn't have to worry about hijacking the thread  seems like you had a hell of a busy year. I'm glad we were all able to make  it better for you in some way.

@WolfNightV4X1 least I wasn't alone in the sleeping department :V and yeah, I'm feeling anxiety too but I think its a good anxiety. Hopeful as you said 

[shiy0]

busy and nerve-racking dev... busy and nerve-racking. but yeah you guys made me enjoy it still in some way unimaginally strange and i am very thankfull for that.

also where had to be something in the air last night cuz i got a slight hangover over here. (gawd i really wrote all that?!?!)

[DevilishlyHandsome49]

3 hours ago, shiy0 said:

busy and nerve-racking dev... busy and nerve-racking. but yeah you guys made me enjoy it still in some way unimaginally strange and i am very thankfull for that.

also where had to be something in the air last night cuz i got a slight hangover over here. (gawd i really wrote all that?!?!)

Yes...yes you did