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Rant/Rave entertaining "reality" competition shows.


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I label it as a rant cause it's so dumb...To the point where it almost insults my intelligence that they (the networks) genuinely believe that I believe this is non scripted. But at the same time it's a rave cause it's so ridiculous that it's hilarious and ultimately becomes a parody of itself.

Me and my girlfriend watch this show on Food network called "Chopped" and I don't pay too much mind to it, it's usually just background noise while I'm on the laptop. But the dialogue from one episode really caught my attention. First, the premise behind chopped are 4 chefs go head to head in a 3 round competition and at the end of every round one chef is eliminated. The three rounds are appetizer, entrée, and desert. They have 30 minutes each round to make something out of ridiculous ingredients they get in a basket that they have to incorporate in said dish (for example they'll open the basket and they get things like, lemons, absinthe, forced Chinese aborted fetuses and candy apples). Winner gets a cool 10K.

Anyway, the dialogue from this episode...It began with one of the chefs introducing himself (all while playing a "bad boy" guitar riff), "I cook for the homeless for free as a living, and I'm addicted to oxycotton, I have been for the past 5 years. I'm here today to prove to my family I'm not totally useless." Did we really need to know that? Anyway, the round continues and at the end of the first round when the judges are critiquing the dishes, a judge was not feeling one of the dishes. "Hmm, I am not feeling the texture in this dish." The camera then cuts to the creator of said dish and he's like "My father abused my badly." Camera cuts back to said chef and he's all like "I love the flavor this dish offers, the texture is my favorite part!"

Bitch please! If that were me on the panel I would be like "Yeah, and judging by your dish your father did not abuse you enough". Each time this whole episode a chef critiqued someone's dish the chef had some ridiculous B'AWWWWWW comment or story to make them change their mind about the said dish...Which was successful tactic. At one point in the competition two of the chefs actually began trying to 1up each other about who's past was more fucked up, where after rather than discussing the cooking and food the judges were actually discussing who's past between the two chefs was worse. The girl who had a shark in her basket as an ingredient and cried the whole round cause her uncle was attacked and killed by a shark ultimately won.

Good stuff.

 

 

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I love mindless 'reality/competition' shows. We get a lot of American programming over here in the UK, and my favourite is Storage Hunters, just because of how crazy serious it gets in the auctions!

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4 minutes ago, Wax said:

I love mindless 'reality/competition' shows. We get a lot of American programming over here in the UK, and my favourite is Storage Hunters, just because of how crazy serious it gets in the auctions!

I am salty at the show "Storage Wars" because they completely fucked Aaron Fechter and a Rock Afire Explosion show

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1 minute ago, #00Buck said:

Thankfully Chef Ramsay exists and I love seeing him throw people's food on the floor and yell at them. 

Gordon Ramsay is truly a British icon.

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5 minutes ago, Wax said:

Gordon Ramsay is truly a British icon.

Gordon Ramsay needs to get out of the kitchen and into the streets and start setting people straight on how ridiculous they are. 

The world needs a good slap across the face. 

Everyone is delusional. 

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1 minute ago, #00Buck said:

Gordon Ramsay needs to get out of the kitchen and into the streets and start setting people straight on how ridiculous they are. 

The world needs a good slap across the face. 

Everyone is delusional. 

I watched the Amy's Baking Company episode of Kitchen Nightmares the other day. Oh my god.

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1 hour ago, Wax said:

I watched the Amy's Baking Company episode of Kitchen Nightmares the other day. Oh my god.

I think in the American Kitchen Nightmares they intentionally pick nut jobs and stubborn idiots which bothers me because Gordon Ramsay is being wasted on these mouth breathers. I prefer the UK Kitchen Nightmares because it had some heart to it and the people felt genuine to some extent (I think it's because it doesn't have the over the top music and editing) 

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1 hour ago, 6tails said:

It's on Food Network.IIRC.

 

1 hour ago, Sourdough said:

where can I watch this food debacle it sounds incredible

And it's going to be more incredible once 6tails goes on..But he needs to become addicted to meth and be abusive to his spouse/or go bankrupt or he will have no chance in winning. 

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12 hours ago, Sidewalk Surfboard said:

"Sharks killed my uncle."
"Chunks of your dead uncle would have been tastier than this."

Or it would have went like,

"Hmmm, there seems to be some human flesh in my dish you missed when you were cleaning out the shark. Perhaps chunks of your uncle?"  

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