Tempted to Drink

[Red Lion]

Had a moment today where I was sitting and eating dinner. Everyone around me was talking, it was really loud and I was feeling overwhelmed by noise and finding it really hard to focus on my own thoughts. There's nothing I hate more than noise and being unable to find a sense of inner peace. I hate chaos and I hate how loud talking, noisy children, traffic sounds out the window and all the external auditory stimuli seems to drill into my brain and I can't seem to filter anything out. I really really wanted to get up and get a drink, I kept sitting there thinking "Just a little, I just want to take the edge off of things, just this one time," and even so I've been good about staying sober I still really want it. I know it's bad and I know I shouldn't but goddammit I feel anxious, restless and on edge. I've been talking to Gator which has helped take my mind off of things but I still feel like I can't settle down. 

I know objectively that using alcohol to treat my feelings is a big ol' red flag that I should definitely not hit the bottle. That's what was wrong with my drinking back when it was a problem and hitting the bottle now is a good way to undo a really long time of hard work and self-discipline but goddammit I WANT IT. ;n; 

[Azure]

i know that feel, but with another thing

sometimes i get this massive itchy pain all up my back and it screams for me to go and use

but that lifestyle is reserved for those who dont wish to have life anymore

and i aint dead yet

keep on yo

[Sourdough]

I get wanting to drink, it feels good. But all that stuff (children, traffic, talking) is all just life. You can't block out life and expect to find 'inner peace'. That's background noise you just have to accept and work from there.

[Red Lion]

I know these are just normal everyday sounds. What I don't know is what I can do to make them feel less loud, overwhelming and in the forefront of everything. I also understand this is my problem and I can't reasonably ask it to go away. I also know that alcohol is not going to fix the core issue and dependency on a drug only makes things worse long term. I KNOW all of this, but knowing has not solved the problem. No amount of rationalizing and understanding that I'm the problem, not the world, has made it feel any more tolerable or alleviated the symptoms. Sometimes being surrounded by noise and activity gives me a sense of information overload that seems to make me mentally and emotionally short-circuit . It's probably related to my PTSD, most of my anxiety problems are, but any help I was getting with that ended a long time ago. 

[Misomie]

Maybe try controlled exposure to things that cause anxiety? Kinda like how people try to cope with phobias. Maybe you'll be able to build resistance and learn to cope on your own. Worth a shot at least. 

[Red Lion]

Maybe try controlled exposure to things that cause anxiety? Kinda like how people try to cope with phobias. Maybe you'll be able to build resistance and learn to cope on your own. Worth a shot at least. 

I can try. I'm not bad enough to be dysfunctional but I get overwhelmed more easily than I'd like. 

Edited November 8, 2015 by Red Lion

[Sourdough]

I know these are just normal everyday sounds. What I don't know is what I can do to make them feel less loud, overwhelming and in the forefront of everything. I also understand this is my problem and I can't reasonably ask it to go away. I also know that alcohol is not going to fix the core issue and dependency on a drug only makes things worse long term. I KNOW all of this, but knowing has not solved the problem. No amount of rationalizing and understanding that I'm the problem, not the world, has made it feel any more tolerable or alleviated the symptoms. Sometimes being surrounded by noise and activity gives me a sense of information overload that seems to make me mentally and emotionally short-circuit . It's probably related to my PTSD, most of my anxiety problems are, but any help I was getting with that ended a long time ago. 

To be honest, there was a time when the sound of the water tank filling up would piss me off. You can't physically make those sounds seem less loud, and you know that. It's the same with drinking, you know it won't help long term. Quite honestly, something that's helped me through feelings like this is mindfulness. However 'New Age' hippy it sounds, it does help. Take your time in exploring that and whatever options might interest you. Just please, don't give into alcohol.

[#00Buck]

I enjoy the occasional drink. 

[Bloodshot_Eyes]

  Put your thoughts to the side for a bit?

 If you can't hear your own thoughts anyway, why make them yell? Why force it? Just shrug your shoulders and say you'll get back to them later. 

 If you need something to put your mind on and your food hasn't come yet you can focus on your breath, you could eavesdrop, you can listen to the conversation at your table, you could admire the decor, stare out the window, or fold your napkin into an origami crane...  I'm assuming you were at a restaurant or something. 

 Focusing on your breath is the simplest though; a nice steady stream... 4 seconds in, hold for 7, and exhale for 8 ( < also works well for trying to fall asleep). Just the act of consciously breathing is relaxing. Take a few deep breathes right now and I'm sure' you'll be sinking into your chair a bit. And since it's something you do so subconsciously it's pretty hard to interrupt.

 You could imagine yourself riding a wave of everything that's happening, on the surfboard of your mind. Certain stimuli are gonna attract your attention in certain moments, all you have to do is stay on the surfboard as you use your mind to do really cool tricks on the scenery. If you crash a thought it's cool, just breathe, we're natural thought surfers and we can breathe the watery emotion too. Go with the flow. idk

 

[Yamidog]

^^^ Good advise in the post directly above.

 

I find knowing I have an exit from the situation helps. Maybe keep in mind that the noises are temporary and afterwords you're free to go lie on the floor and scream.

[Red Lion]

  Put your thoughts to the side for a bit?

 If you can't hear your own thoughts anyway, why make them yell? Why force it? Just shrug your shoulders and say you'll get back to them later. 

 If you need something to put your mind on and your food hasn't come yet you can focus on your breath, you could eavesdrop, you can listen to the conversation at your table, you could admire the decor, stare out the window, or fold your napkin into an origami crane...  I'm assuming you were at a restaurant or something. 

 Focusing on your breath is the simplest though; a nice steady stream... 4 seconds in, hold for 7, and exhale for 8 ( < also works well for trying to fall asleep). Just the act of consciously breathing is relaxing. Take a few deep breathes right now and I'm sure' you'll be sinking into your chair a bit. And since it's something you do so subconsciously it's pretty hard to interrupt.

 You could imagine yourself riding a wave of everything that's happening, on the surfboard of your mind. Certain stimuli are gonna attract your attention in certain moments, all you have to do is stay on the surfboard as you use your mind to do really cool tricks on the scenery. If you crash a thought it's cool, just breathe, we're natural thought surfers and we can breathe the watery emotion too. Go with the flow. idk

 

This is good advice, I could probably stand to do this when I'm in a crowded store and I'm starting to feel agitated. I'm kinda restless in general these days and it seems like a lot of things are making me antsy but that scenery surf thing sounds totally zen so I up to give it a shot.

Thanks to all of you who have replied, it's nice to know that people actually care.

[Yarra]

Two drinks a day is not unhealthy and if you use red wine many studies have shown it to be beneficial.  BUT, I usually hit multiples of that when at a party, game, or other big event!

 

  

 

 

[DrGravitas]

Two drinks a day is not unhealthy and if you use red wine many studies have shown it to be beneficial.  BUT, I usually hit multiples of that when at a party, game, or other big event!

 

  

 

 

Aaactually, those studies are almost invariably sponsored by either wine producers or grape growers.

While there are some potential links between antioxidants (the proposed mechanism behind these dubious findings) and good health, there are far better means of acquiring greater quantities of antioxidants, such as certain fruits or just plain Vitamin C, that don't have the down-sides of alcohol consumption.

The only other minor benefit that would otherwise be consistent with mild alcohol consumption is stress relief and still there are other means of stress relief.

As for antioxidants, like everything the key is balance. Too much of a good thing can also be a bad thing.

Edited November 11, 2015 by DrGravitas
Spacing and removing extra words.

[Guest]

I get that too, to get severely annoyed by noise whether it's my idiot classmates who can't shut the fuck up for two seconds or my cunt brother and his shit rap music. Urgh.

 

Anyway, Lion, you've gone too far now to put your efforts to waste. Unfortunately I don't have advice to give you, all I can tell you is to hang in there. You're a good chap, I'd hate to see you fall into the pit of alcoholism. Maybe try to get away from situations like those. That's what I always do when all the noise stresses me the hell out, I just leave

[Yarra]

Aaactually, those studies are almost invariably sponsored by either wine producers or grape growers.

While there are some potential links between antioxidants (the proposed mechanism behind these dubious findings) and good health, there are far better means of acquiring greater quantities of antioxidants, such as certain fruits or just plain Vitamin C, that don't have the down-sides of alcohol consumption.

The only other minor benefit that would otherwise be consistent with mild alcohol consumption is stress relief and still there are other means of stress relief.

As for antioxidants, like everything the key is balance. Too much of a good thing can also be a bad thing.

Apparently the Mayo Clinic thinks so

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/red-wine/art-20048281

But at the end of the day one should not drink for the wrong reasons.  

 

 

[DrGravitas]

Apparently the Mayo Clinic thinks so

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/red-wine/art-20048281

But at the end of the day one should not drink for the wrong reasons.  

 

 

In that article they repeatedly state that there is little to encourage drinking for this reason. They merely acknowledge that red wine can serve as a source for antioxidants and resveratrol, which is quite different from endorsing the means of acquiring it. Resveratrol, like antioxidants, is also found in fruits and other better sources.

Also, this from the article:

In addition, to get the same dose of resveratrol used in the mice studies, a person would have to drink more than 1,000 liters of red wine every day.

Since the article doesn't cite their sources, unlike the phys.org article, I can't tell you what study the data came from. However, this reads more like a commentary on news than a study release. Interesting read, though.

Edited November 11, 2015 by DrGravitas
grammar, capitalization