Feverish Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Again didn't know where to put this but I'm trans mtf. For a long time I've been depressed and hated myself for no good reason, until recently I started connecting dots. When I saw women I felt jealous of them but I didn't know for what, and when I put my face through Snapchat filters that made it look feminine I would be immeasurably happy but didn't know why. I've always thought I'd be happier being a woman but it was always shoved to the back of my mind, like the random thought of "it'd be nice to be a millionaire." 2 weeks ago I started seriously considering the thought and realized why I was so happy about the filters, and that I was jealous of women because they got to be women. Then I almost threw up. But 5 days ago I started identifying as a female, and the next morning every depressive thought was gone and I didn't want to hurt myself emotionally or physically. I felt actually happy and I still feel the same. So now I'm coming out and saying it. I can't do anything physically, if my family knew, I'd be disowned. Not until I move out of the house can I safely do anything physically. If you want to use female pronouns for me, that's great. If you don't, that's fine. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxon Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Hope things work out well for you, feverish. It's a shame you think your family wouldn't respond well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jtrekkie Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Best of luck. It's good that you've found a problem, I hope you'll be able to start fixing it. Is telling us making you feel any differently? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vallium Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 *hugs* Congrats for your sudden realization, in a way, it does get easier from there, because you know the underlying issue to your lifelong struggles. Im sorry to hear nobody you know will be supportive, but keep on being you and when you get to a place where no one can make decisions for you and you are safe, go all out. Good luck~ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feelwell Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Great to hear things are looking up, Feverish. I really wish you the best of luck with the future and hope you feel comfortable! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrGravitas Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 This is good! Glad to hear you've discovered something important about yourself. It is certainly no simple road ahead, but you'll find good support available. I hope everything turns out well for you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feverish Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 2 hours ago, Jtrekkie said: Best of luck. It's good that you've found a problem, I hope you'll be able to start fixing it. Is telling us making you feel any differently? It isn't making me feel terribly different, right now I just think it's important information to let certain people and groups know 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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