where does the time go?

[Gator]

excuse me if this is totally incoherent; i type how i think and i think in a scrambled mess :^)

 

but how is it that every time i'm not at work and thus kept moving constantly on what is more or less a timed schedule, i just suddenly find that i've lost hours and gotten absolutely nothing done?  it's aggravating as shit, i tell u hwat.

for real, though.  this keeps happening.  if i make myself look back, i can remember the basics of what i have (or haven't) done.  it's not like i've just blacked out or anything.  but usually it's kinda just like i spend my day in this little fog, feeling like "i want/need to do X, but i want/need to do Z first..." and somehow "X" never got done at all because "Z" turned into the whole goddamn alphabet?  and yet that entire alphabet consists of basically nothing. 

it kills me that despite having time off, i never seem to use it constructively no matter how much i want to.  the only time i seem to have motivation to do anything is very late at night (or rather, late in the morning; i work nights so my schedule is backwards) when i should be going to bed.  it's like it takes that long for my mind to settle and be like, "OK LET'S DO THIS"... only for me to realize how late it is and go "oh darn, i can't stay up any more because i have to get up and go to work.  guess nothing gets done again today."

sometimes i just don't have the motivation or energy to do the things i want/need to do.  i feel tired, lonely, stressed, overwhelmed, etc etc, place your excuses here.  then sometimes i just completely forget.  usually it's a combination of the two: i'll lack motivation and thus say "i want to do something else first and then i'll get to that thing", but when i start doing something else, i forget all about the thing i was going to do afterward.  aaaaaannnnd then somewhere along the line, hours go by and just, nothing?  it's not even like the things i -am- doing in that time are productive.  at best, i'll find silly doodles that i barely remember drawing just sitting there on my art program.  i have no idea how something like that can take four hours.  something something something watching youtube videos to fill the void where human conversation should be, something something something doodling, something something making food, followed by what may or may not be just staring off into space i don't even know.  then i look at the clock and "wtf i was only googling stuff for like ten minutes how is it so late already"

what am i doing

what is my life

how did i even get here

and why do i always end up doing laundry the "morning" of going to work instead of one of my days off beforehand?

the worst part is, not having the will to work on anything until it's bedtime will result in me staying up too late, thus sleeping too late or too little, making everything worse and worse.  hallelujah.

[FlynnCoyote]

This is how I feel currently. The time of year dampens my spirits and makes this whole problem worse than usual. Once Xmas has passed things usually start to look up for me, but in other times of slump I have to find alternative sources of motivation. Best method I've found so far is to find someone who has similar interests and have friendly competitions to see who can get the most done. A friend and I who both write regularly would be chatting over skype while working on our respective projects, then seeing who had the most words written in whatever time frame we agreed on. Winner owed the other a sketch. Or we'll talk and talk about all the exciting things we wanna get done and spur each other into action.

It's good to have someone to put the pressure on without it being an actual obligation. Everything else is just going to come down to PPPPPP.

 

[Vallium]

Sorry to hear, being busy with work makes it hard to remember what someone does with off time, because even then theres so much to do so little time. One thing exhausts an extraordinary amount of time when it feels as if you just began.

Sometimes I just waste time on the internet and doodle to fill the void myself, and just wishing and wanting for time and money for things I cant do...

[Jtrekkie]

"Where does the time go?"

There is a terrible demon, a chronophage, devouring moments; feasting on your youth as you wait idly by for your final day of doom. To help stave him off I find making a list of things that you want to accomplish is helpful, but it's up to you to make yourself work on that list. At any rate writing helps you to remember what you're doing.

[DrGravitas]

4 hours ago, Jtrekkie said:

"Where does the time go?"

There is a terrible demon, a chronophage, devouring moments; feasting on your youth as you wait idly by for your final day of doom. To help stave him off I find making a list of things that you want to accomplish is helpful, but it's up to you to make yourself work on that list. At any rate writing helps you to remember what you're doing.

You reminded me of this old vid:

And yes, I agree that lists are an excellent way to keep track of what you need to do. Time was I could get by without them, but more and more I find myself relying on them to remember things l need to do, or to buy, or to work on.

[Gator]

On 12/14/2016 at 4:53 AM, FlynnCoyote said:

This is how I feel currently. The time of year dampens my spirits and makes this whole problem worse than usual. Once Xmas has passed things usually start to look up for me, but in other times of slump I have to find alternative sources of motivation. Best method I've found so far is to find someone who has similar interests and have friendly competitions to see who can get the most done. A friend and I who both write regularly would be chatting over skype while working on our respective projects, then seeing who had the most words written in whatever time frame we agreed on. Winner owed the other a sketch. Or we'll talk and talk about all the exciting things we wanna get done and spur each other into action.

It's good to have someone to put the pressure on without it being an actual obligation. Everything else is just going to come down to PPPPPP.

 

where can i find one of these types of friends because that sounds perfect

On 12/14/2016 at 6:02 AM, Sylver said:

I can definitely relate to this.

I think there are two types of 'doing' (for lack of a better word): one ends in stuff getting done quickly, and the other takes hours of work with little to show for it. It drives me insane when you spend hours 'doing' something and have nothing to show for it. I think it has to do with planning, understanding your objective, and keeping both in mind while working.

I spent a few hours figuring out how to draw a simple sword icon. It should have taken no more than 8 shapes (some circles, hexacons, rectangles, and a triangle), yet it took me hours of screwing around to get it done. I think if I was more aware of what I was doing and kept the overall objective/plan in mind that it wouldn't have taken more than a few minutes.

For me, the solution to the lack of motivation is to just start doing it. Usually after the first 5-10 minutes I'm either enjoying the task or at least engaged in it, and the desire to not do it is gone.

It sucks though. It's not very pleasant watching as the weeks, and sometimes months just pass by with seemingly nothing getting done.

i try to just dive in and start sometimes, but i lose interest/motivation within minutes, or get distracted/have to quit and never get back to it. 

On 12/14/2016 at 1:51 PM, WolfNightV4X1 said:

Sorry to hear, being busy with work makes it hard to remember what someone does with off time, because even then theres so much to do so little time. One thing exhausts an extraordinary amount of time when it feels as if you just began.

Sometimes I just waste time on the internet and doodle to fill the void myself, and just wishing and wanting for time and money for things I cant do...

yeah, that's pretty much how it goes.. somehow, 3 days off isn't enough because even the smallest things are strangely difficult to accomplish. 

16 hours ago, Jtrekkie said:

"Where does the time go?"

There is a terrible demon, a chronophage, devouring moments; feasting on your youth as you wait idly by for your final day of doom. To help stave him off I find making a list of things that you want to accomplish is helpful, but it's up to you to make yourself work on that list. At any rate writing helps you to remember what you're doing.

i've tried that, too.  lists and sticky notes.  sometimes they just get ignored while i start doing other stuff, and then the same thing happens: i mysteriously ran out of time to check off the list.

i also did a list for my work day when i was new and prone to forgetting, but that's different i guess.  with jobs, it's kind of "do all the things or get fired".  at home on a day off, it's "some of this stuff probably should be done at some point" and unless it's got a serious deadline that relates to me getting into some kind of trouble if it's not done, it's probably not getting done.  that includes things i actually like (or used to like) to do.  because i don't think i actually like doing anything any more.