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Rant/Rave: Looking back on your past


Sidewalk Surfboard
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For everyone who was on here when I was 15-16, I apologize for the absolute edgelord dramatic fuck you had to deal with.

2015 and 16 weren't very good years for me at all. I was trapped in Oregon and almost completely isolated most of the time. Solitude can drive a person mad, and it did me, definitely.

Not to mention, undiagnosed and untreated depression and anxiety on top of that leads to a recipe I like to call the Shitpost Salad.

Ingredients:

  1. Severely depressed, lonely teenager
  2. Small community of nerds
  3. A rant section

Pour the bullshit into a bowl and whack it with a hammer a few times. The meal is ready. Suffer.

Although life is nowhere near perfect, it's improved, and I realized being an edgy misanthropic little shit didn't make me feel any better.

I realized this because someone I was friends with was exactly how I used to be, and he ended up verbally abusing me to make himself feel better.

Made me realize how fucking horrid my own damn behavior was back in the day (and his too after I finally stopped talking to him).

Moral of this ramble: Anyone has the power to grow and change as a person if they're willing to accept they have problems. I guess.

 

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Decided to randomly check here for nostalgia purposes, saw this, back from the dead...Pending work and life lol.

Truth be told, its not exactly like this town is a happy place. I'm still stuck in the crapshack until I save enough money to move lol. Its good you've come to terms with it though and started looking forward. I really hope you are happier ^^ it got pretty boring but a lot of stuff happened after you left. Pretty much everyone that gave us shit for being the nerds wound up coming out as gay, wound up in jail, or was a furry themselves >next part might be related < dog collars became a fashion trend there after what was left of the circle of furries where forced to stop wearing them by the principle in fear of us using them as a weapon again >really long story i dont want associated with me in public<. Police where hired on to patrol the school. A 'misconduct' happened that wound up happening caused a backlash against the local law enforcement and got them fired, a literal race war got started and one of our friends got beaten so badly she never came back to public schooling over a southerner who moved up here and saw her wearing a confederate flag hat, the lunch programs got reduced because one of the teachers i used to go to church with stole the funds for it the year before and got caught and, school got fined on top of it. What was left of our group pretty much became a circle of dick hopscotch with eachother, drama ensued, and three of us went from that group to the jocks and military buffs soon after. But. On the plus side. The principal got outright fired for the way he treated our group and it all cleared up after graduation It made the news statewide.

 

Yeah. You left at the right time xD

 

.....will admit it got boring as shit when you left though

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I'm surprised people even reacted to this rambling shitload, but I'm happy you guys did. I didn't expect forgiveness, but I appreciate it.

And it also doesn't surprise me to hear bad things about where I lived. It was never a place I enjoyed staying, really. I lived in a tiny shit trailer house with a literal mold room and the only interaction I got was at school with @Dataand some other friends.

Moving back to Idaho was definitely the start of improvement, although it was a struggle. That "friend" I mentioned was awful and it took me months to realize how bad it really was. His behavior and gaslighting on top of my anxiety thinking that it was my fault led to me self harming (craaaawling iiiin my skiiiiiin)

Even through the bad time with that shithead though, it led to becoming good friends with some very nice people. And, of course, realizing I used to be an awful turd. 

As I said, life certainly isn't perfect, but it's much better now. I used to think it would always be terrible, but that was definitely depression talking. 

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  • 3 months later...

I'm kinda 'trapped in Oregon' myself these days, but that's cuz I live in a puny college town with nothing to do in it but drink yourself silly. I'd feel a lot less isolated if I lived closer to a place with an actual night life like Portland or Eugene even.

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  • 4 years later...

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