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A trip that scarred me for life.

YuukiSkywolf

By YuukiSkywolf,
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YuukiSkywolf Newbie

YuukiSkywolf

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(Originally this was going to be a reply in the general chat time waster, but I couldn't just stop typing. So it was more appropriate to post it here c:) 

          Well to each their own, but with the amount of stress that I am going through like literally just drowning in it...I could really could use some pot again, but I have 2 more years to go. Before I joined I was a massive scene kid in my senior year (Yea I was that kid who basically changed style every year of school) Thought changing my lifestyle and just trying to meet new people would help me combat my depression and isolation. 

Funny thing is I have only smoked a bowl like 3 times so far, and had two edibles because I was mostly on mdmas and lsd. Then near my ship date, I started candy flipping (taking e and lsd), the first time I had a blast, and then the second night...The 5 hours of it were amazing as usual, felt my whole body have that nice warm feeling, colors everywhere even up in the night sky, seeing shapes, everything just slowing down just feeling relaxed and peaceful.

Then I went through 3 hours of hell, like I legitimately thought I was going to slip into death or end up in a coma. So majority of the time how I got to raves and edm events was mostly just catching a ride with a random group of people from local scene groups on facebook, and then we all split off and do our own thing. I was there alone, also my depression is never really good with that, and my adhd as well. So usually what is recommended is that you are there with a friend(s) that really cared for you and would be there to help you out, which I was still lacking, if you happen to end up in a bad trip. So we were kinda out in the middle of nowhere in the lovely state of Arizona,  it's just black and the night sky is as beautiful as always. And the only source of light is the single building where the dj is and everything and a bonfire right outside. When I started to look around for someone to hangout with because suddenly I just got hit with a feeling of loneliness, I couldn't see the silhouette of the desert flora, just black all around the only thing I could see was the bonfire and the building. And then the music started to slow down, like if you were to take an audio file and just stretch it out in a media editor and get that really horrendous noise. When that happened all the sudden I was far as fuck from the bonfire, but there were multiple of them now (The whole night there was just one) and each one slowly went out starting with the closest one to me and there was nothing, but just black all around me. So I started running, scared out of my mind and when I finally got to the last lit bonfire. I was laying on my back and I immediately just jumped up. I was happy for a brief second, and I was walking over to the building to where the dj is and of course you can imagine all the flashing lights. As I approached the door, the music started to slow down all the away again, and this time I started to see things by a single frame. I was frozen and everyone around me seem to be frozen as well and then a couple seconds I was getting closer and closer to the door and then all the sudden I just started hearing faint sirens and I just started perceiving the flashing lights as an ambulance and I felt people just trying to assist me into getting into the building/now ambulance (I have no idea how I must of looked like to people, but it caused a couple of people to help me get there) and when I finally got there I just ended up laying down and my mind was making up chattering and perceiving people nearby me as emts, and I felt that they were setting up the iv bag. I just remember going through my mind was "I fucked up, what am I going to tell mom" and I remember asking the person that I rode with "Am I going to die" and he just responded "I...don't...know" and that just made things a whole lot worse for the rest of my trip.

I looked around again and finally my mind wasn't perceiving the building as an ambulance anymore, but for some reason I decided to leave it and head back outside and what came next is just infused into my fucking mind for the rest of my life. I accidentally ended up crashing into barrel that they were using to light up another fire. While people were yelling at me, I was busy trying to put out the fire on my jacket, and a couple of other people were helping too. But I still felt that it was continuously burning and I started to see embers, and I was freaking the fuck out. People were telling me that it was put out, eventually I decided to look down and see I was fine. But when I looked back up, I started seeing people slowly decay before my eyes. And I just remember falling down on the ground and just going into a fetal position closing my eyes and trying to go to sleep, but I opened them up again and saw someone sitting nearby looking at me begin to decay as well. Eventually the guy that gave me a ride found me and just told me to chill in the car. When I got in there, he and his friend were directly behind it, just smoking. I was slightly felt a bit more relaxed, but now I just felt embarrassed and then paranoid. I thought that I fucked up so big, that my mind started making up whispers that I thought were from the two guys. Talking about what they are going to do with my body and saying that they can't let me get back home. His friend hopped in the backseat with me and just smoking his cig and then snorted one line of cocaine. I was just there...scared as fuck. Because my mind is making me think about these two wanting to kill me, and then when he started talking. It went from clear to just mumble and then I felt as if the car was crushing me, I putting tons of effort to try to move my legs and get the hell out of the car and when I looked at him again he was decaying and then I finally got out of the car and ran back to the bonfire and kept my eyes closed when I saw people and I eventually I fell asleep. The driver woke me up at like 6:00 am and he took me back home. The last 2 hours of the trip is always nice, because I always just see everything as all wavy and feel nice and cozy. No words were said the whole way, and I even felt better & laughed inside when the Beverly hills cop theme just randomly played on the radio. I finally got home, and my parents were still asleep, so I just snuck to my room and I saw my two dogs laying on my bed...just happy to see me. When I laid down and tried to fall back asleep again. I will always remember just how humiliated I felt and to this very day just scarred.  

But, even to this day I desire it, willingly. I won't stop doing lsd (I won't candy flip though), and I will probably do it again when my contract is up. The feeling of warmth, relaxation, and vibrancy is what I crave for. Just eventually I will find a friend that I know will be there for me.

Edited by YuukiSkywolf
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Vallium Newbie

Vallium

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^^^

Please at least stay off of LSD and likewise types of hallucinogenics and stimulants. If you must take something to get a high, just go with pot as you've said.

Really, the damage may have already been done as things like that tend to alter your chemicals permanently. But I mean, you shouldn't put yourself through a near-death experience like that again.

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MuttButt Newbie

MuttButt

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^^^

Please at least stay off of LSD and likewise types of hallucinogenics and stimulants. If you must take something to get a high, just go with pot as you've said.

Really, the damage may have already been done as things like that tend to alter your chemicals permanently. But I mean, you shouldn't put yourself through a near-death experience like that again.

Actually, LSD does very little physical damage to your brain. The dose is so minimal (30-100 micrograms per hit) that even if the substance was toxic (it's not) it wouldnt be enough to do any significant harm. The danger lies in the possibility of having a bad trip, which can be fairly brutal psychologically speaking, and you can also hurt yourself doing something dumb. I am a firm believer that everybody should experience the effects of hallucinogens at least once in their lives, it can be a truly beautiful experience and teach you a lot about yourself, assuming that you take a reasonable dose, with a sitter, in a comfortable environment, and when your mind is in a good place. Fearing a bad trip is an excellent one way ticket to a bad trip.

When it's all said and done, LSD and its sister drug psilocybin, aka magic mushrooms are not "hard" drugs by any stretch of the imagination. There is little to no addictive potential, minimal toxicity, and the proportion of the active dose to the lethal dose is so ridiculous that you'd have to spend some serious dough and try realllllyyyy hard to OD and kill yourself with the stuff. Granted, there is always the danger of getting a drug other than acid, there are a lot of research chems that are similar dose to LSD but far more lethal, but that danger is a product of its illegality.

If you're wondering "then why are lsd/shrooms schedule 1 controlled substances?" For the same reason that weed is schedule 1, because at the time it was scheduled there wasn't enough information to schedule it properly, so tossing in schedule 1 was the obvious choice because they didn't give a shit whether or not it was useful medically because they represented a "dangerous" ideology and counterculture. After acid in particular was made schedule 1, it set a precedent to sweep any new recreational hallucinogen under the rug in a similar fashion.

Oh, and don't even get me started on some of the crazy medical and therapudic applications people have discovered for hallcuinogens. Let's just say that there have been very promising studies done in recent years, and i've done many a project and report on them.

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Vallium Newbie

Vallium

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Actually, LSD does very little physical damage to your brain. The dose is so minimal (30-100 micrograms per hit) that even if the substance was toxic (it's not) it wouldnt be enough to do any significant harm. The danger lies in the possibility of having a bad trip, which can be fairly brutal psychologically speaking, and you can also hurt yourself doing something dumb. I am a firm believer that everybody should experience the effects of hallucinogens at least once in their lives, it can be a truly beautiful experience and teach you a lot about yourself, assuming that you take a reasonable dose, with a sitter, in a comfortable environment, and when your mind is in a good place. Fearing a bad trip is an excellent one way ticket to a bad trip.

When it's all said and done, LSD and its sister drug psilocybin, aka magic mushrooms are not "hard" drugs by any stretch of the imagination. There is little to no addictive potential, minimal toxicity, and the proportion of the active dose to the lethal dose is so ridiculous that you'd have to spend some serious dough and try realllllyyyy hard to OD and kill yourself with the stuff. Granted, there is always the danger of getting a drug other than acid, there are a lot of research chems that are similar dose to LSD but far more lethal, but that danger is a product of its illegality.

If you're wondering "then why are lsd/shrooms schedule 1 controlled substances?" For the same reason that weed is schedule 1, because at the time it was scheduled there wasn't enough information to schedule it properly, so tossing in schedule 1 was the obvious choice because they didn't give a shit whether or not it was useful medically because they represented a "dangerous" ideology and counterculture. After acid in particular was made schedule 1, it set a precedent to sweep any new recreational hallucinogen under the rug in a similar fashion.

Oh, and don't even get me started on some of the crazy medical and therapudic applications people have discovered for hallcuinogens. Let's just say that there have been very promising studies done in recent years, and i've done many a project and report on them.

Alright well, props for your explanation then, I guess I'll throw in the "to each his own argument" here as well.

I would warn my friends against it myself, though (Itsnot my place to coerce them do/not do things though) Drugs r bad, mmkay? :V

Edited by WolfNightV4X1
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MuttButt Newbie

MuttButt

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Alright well, props for your explanation then, I guess I'll throw in the "to each his own argument" here as well.

I would warn my friends against it myself, though (Itsnot my place to make them do/not do things though) Drugs r bad, mmkay? :V

Fair enough! I hope you don't feel like I'm antagonizing anybody with that post, i'm just very passionate about this topic because of the stigma that surrounds hallucinogens, despite their potential benefits. I find it hypocritical in general to condemn some drugs and put others on a pedestal, e.g. alcohol, but it's worse when the drugs that get condemned are the "good" ones in my mind.

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Vallium Newbie

Vallium

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Fair enough! I hope you don't feel like I'm antagonizing anybody with that post, i'm just very passionate about this topic because of the stigma that surrounds hallucinogens, despite their potential benefits. I find it hypocritical in general to condemn some drugs and put others on a pedestal, e.g. alcohol, but it's worse when the drugs that get condemned are the "good" ones in my mind.

Im personally unwilling to use any of them. Even alcohol has disastrous affects in the wrong hands/habits. I'll stick to caffinated beverage

:P

.

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MuttButt Newbie

MuttButt

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I'll just stress the point that there is a huge difference between pulling information from an outside source and experiencing it firsthand. 

And that's all I have to say about that.

I agree! Outside sources, or at least scientific ones are a whole lot more reliable than firsthand experiences, which are far more likely to be subject to bias. Incidentally, I have both researched LSD and mushrooms, and taken them many times, sometimes together :P 

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Naesaki Newbie

Naesaki

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I just personally avoid all kinds of drugs to begin with, alcohol is very rare for me and even then it will be one glass or small bottle, either way not gonna judge others who do it and perfectly understand their own limits and the effects of it all, if someone is just taking a super massive dose and has done zero research and is just going off what their buddies say then its a different matter altogether.

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grassfed Newbie

grassfed

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Fair enough! I hope you don't feel like I'm antagonizing anybody with that post, i'm just very passionate about this topic because of the stigma that surrounds hallucinogens, despite their potential benefits. I find it hypocritical in general to condemn some drugs and put others on a pedestal, e.g. alcohol, but it's worse when the drugs that get condemned are the "good" ones in my mind.

THIS. I seriously dont understand how so many people have the mentality that alcohol is just dandy and yet things like cannabis or mushrooms/LSD is the devil. You think becuase alcohol is legal its magically harmless? Alcohol does more damage to peoples lives than all three of those drugs combined. From 1850 until 1942 cannabis was in the US Pharmacopoeia and sold at drug stores in cough syrups and other things like that, its the worlds oldest medicine. And micro-dosing with mushrooms has actually shown great results for controlling anxiety and even repairing damaged brain tissue!

 

I've only ever done mushrooms, as far as hallucinogens go. I've had good experiences for the most part, the only time I really had a 'bad trip' was when I thought it was over and decided to try and sleep but then it started coming back and my thick ass comforter felt like a sheet of paper.. I've never eaten more than 1.5g though so nothing crazy, nor were they strong caps like cyanescens or something.

But how your state of mind is when taking hallucinogens is extremely important. If you go into it fearing you may have a bad trip, you'll have one.

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MuttButt Newbie

MuttButt

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THIS. I seriously dont understand how so many people have the mentality that alcohol is just dandy and yet things like cannabis or mushrooms/LSD is the devil. You think becuase alcohol is legal its magically harmless? Alcohol does more damage to peoples lives than all three of those drugs combined. From 1850 until 1942 cannabis was in the US Pharmacopoeia and sold at drug stores in cough syrups and other things like that, its the worlds oldest medicine. And micro-dosing with mushrooms has actually shown great results for controlling anxiety and even repairing damaged brain tissue!

 

I've only ever done mushrooms, as far as hallucinogens go. I've had good experiences for the most part, the only time I really had a 'bad trip' was when I thought it was over and decided to try and sleep but then it started coming back and my thick ass comforter felt like a sheet of paper.. I've never eaten more than 1.5g though so nothing crazy, nor were they strong caps like cyanescens or something.

But how your state of mind is when taking hallucinogens is extremely important. If you go into it fearing you may have a bad trip, you'll have one.

Yep, set and setting are everything. Our society's irrational love of alcohol and irrational hatred of every other drug is something that irks me on a daily basis. Even the phrase "alcohol and drugs" drives me crazy. There's literally no distinction between those two things! Alcohol is a drug! If you drink you're just as much of a "druggie" as your stoner neighbor or a dude shooting up in a trap house. Get off your high horse! 

Ahem. Anyways, I'm sorry to hear you had a bad trip, but I hope you at least took something away from it. I find that hallucinogens often give you what you need, not what you want. Even a bad trip has some kind of lesson about yourself within it. That's why I don't really fear the possibility of a bad trip anymore. I've been pretty adventurous too, tried research chems (which was admittedly super dumb), mixed acid, shrooms, and MDMA in any number of combinations with each other and some fairly high doses too relatively speaking. I've had bad trips before, although it might be more fair to describe them as an okay trip in a horrible situation. The most memorable trip was probably when my buddy and I wound up having to run away from the police at 1 in the morning.

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YuukiSkywolf Newbie

YuukiSkywolf

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Yep, set and setting are everything. Our society's irrational love of alcohol and irrational hatred of every other drug is something that irks me on a daily basis. Even the phrase "alcohol and drugs" drives me crazy. There's literally no distinction between those two things! Alcohol is a drug! If you drink you're just as much of a "druggie" as your stoner neighbor or a dude shooting up in a trap house. Get off your high horse! 

Ahem. Anyways, I'm sorry to hear you had a bad trip, but I hope you at least took something away from it. I find that hallucinogens often give you what you need, not what you want. Even a bad trip has some kind of lesson about yourself within it. That's why I don't really fear the possibility of a bad trip anymore. I've been pretty adventurous too, tried research chems (which was admittedly super dumb), mixed acid, shrooms, and MDMA in any number of combinations with each other and some fairly high doses too relatively speaking. I've had bad trips before, although it might be more fair to describe them as an okay trip in a horrible situation. The most memorable trip was probably when my buddy and I wound up having to run away from the police at 1 in the morning.

As I stated above in my experience, I was truly happy during my first hours in fact the majority of the times that I have taken lsd and even when I began candy flipping. It happened here because someone decided to be an asshole and decide to scare me. They saw that I was tripping balls, and decided to wear gas masks. Honestly, doing a hallucinogenic is really eye opening for me and I also a huge list of reasons (increasing due to my enlistment) of why I even do it. It is safe to say that for the rest of my life, I will probably boil it down to cannabis, shrooms and lsd. I am not going to be an idiot with them, because yes you can end up doing something extremely stupid that will either A: Harm yourself or B: harm others. People drink or smoke cigs for their own reasons, I do those 3 for my own reasons.

However I just wanted to post this personal experience to show you of the possibility of what can happen, not every bad trip is the same. And I HOPE that no one would ever experience something like I did, just know that if you have a mate or friends that are there for you. Do it with them, and it isn't like you'll get a bad trip if you don't. It's just one of those things that I have always envied, I always fantasize the day that I will be able to do that. 

Edited by YuukiSkywolf
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grassfed Newbie

grassfed

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My thought is whatever is okay in extreme moderation. Alcohol, hard drugs, tobacco, it's all fine as long as you stay moderated and, above all else, SAFE AND RESPONSIBLE.

Weed is all good though, cuz'.

Wine or beer can be good for your health in moderation, I doubt spirits/liqour is. Not sure I could agree with tobacco being okay and all, maybe if you grow and process it yourself organically but even then, I see no real benefits or reasons to use it. To each their own though right??

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Lucyfish Newbie

Lucyfish

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Wine or beer can be good for your health in moderation, I doubt spirits/liqour is. Not sure I could agree with tobacco being okay and all, maybe if you grow and process it yourself organically but even then, I see no real benefits or reasons to use it. To each their own though right??

Well I mean, the reason to do it would be it feels nice. It's just that as a very addictive and unhealthy substance, it should be used only in moderation. Same as cocaine, really. You just don't get as psychotic with cigarettes as you do with cocaine, lol.

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Azure Newbie

Azure

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i once climbed into a tree and then it turned into a spaceship

this was the same trip that my body temperature got so high i was steaming the sweat off of my body. and the only time i ever threw up on lsd. shit happens. buy the ticket take the ride

 

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Lucyfish Newbie

Lucyfish

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i once climbed into a tree and then it turned into a spaceship

this was the same trip that my body temperature got so high i was steaming the sweat off of my body. and the only time i ever threw up on lsd. shit happens. buy the ticket take the ride

 

Mr. Bones' wild ride never ends.

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Vae Newbie

Vae

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Not sure I could agree with tobacco being okay and all, maybe if you grow and process it yourself organically but even then, I see no real benefits or reasons to use it. To each their own though right??

It's debated that nicotine actually has some benefits for people suffering from schizophrenia, because it's shown to have a positive impact on cognitive behaviors for them.
Same thing with some cases of bipolar, but as with any cases involving bipolar, that means only during certain periods.

Personally, I'm scared to do hallucinogenics because I already have hallucinations and disassociation spells, and they usually leave me feeling like shit.
But, at the same time, I wouldn't mind trying one that was mild at some point.
Experiences, and all that.

Edited by Vae
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Bloodshot_Eyes Newbie

Bloodshot_Eyes

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 One time, I was laying down in my bed on mushrooms (I didn't wanna break anything), playing with my thoughts and singing them different songs to dance to.

 I don't remember when I disappeared, but all of a sudden I hear a faint static get exponentially louder until it popped and I was back in my bed. And I was just layin' on my bed thinkin'; "Where was I? that I wasn't here, or even aware that I had a body distinct from my surroundings?" 

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Zeke Newbie

Zeke

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First time I tried Edibles, I was confused because I could ACTUALLY hear my self think and was focused. The edible also lasted for a couple of days, so I went to class high. My history professor was having a hard time telling me to stop talking during the roman Empire lecture...and I think he knew why.

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Lucyfish Newbie

Lucyfish

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Any particular time period? 

All I knew at the time was that although I was just sitting on a bench on a college campus, I thought I was sitting atop the Pantheon. I saw roman pillars and shit on all the buldings around me, man. It was really scary cuz' I had no clue what I had just hit.

Don't accept bowls from strangers, kids.

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Wrecker Newbie

Wrecker

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Hahaha fuck, when I read this post I was thinking "there's no god-damn way this post is going to be about drugs..." Wrong again :P

I've done some stupid fucking shit all fucked up myself. I'm pretty sure that anybody that's dabbled with different stuff has had at least one bad trip.

These days I just drink, though. It's way easier to know when you're done and it's fuck all to go to sleep.

There is nothing shittier than laying there tired as fuck but wide awake, with your nose jammed full of shit, just wishing to pass out.

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