PlusThirtyOne Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Why is it that EVERY time i use the restroom at work, there's ALWAYS at least one jackass who is either too impatient or somehow thinks it's funny to smash their shoulder into the door and attempts to hammer it the fuck open. What if i forgot to lock the door?! Do you really need to burst into the restroom at such breakneck speed?! Jeezus Kryst, man, why don't you just try to turn the knob a little, eh? if it turns, inch the door open and check if the light is on. Wait for an objection or silence before kicking down the goddam door!! Not even so much as a, "Anybody in there?". Nothing is more terrifying than sitting in silence in a wide open shitter by yourself with pants around your ankles, then SUDDENLY THERE'S A LOUD THUD AT THE DOOR!! POUND POUND POUND!! SMASH SMASH POUND!! it sounds like a zombie outbreak on the other side of the door for a brief moment. The doorknob twists and rattles, unable to turn. The unyielding door rumbles, reverbing off the echoey bathroom walls. SMASH SMASH POUND POUND POUND!!! Then silence again. Every. Fucking. Time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vitaly Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 15 minutes ago, PlusThirtyOne said: Nothing is more terrifying than sitting in silence in a wide open shitter by yourself with pants around your ankles, then SUDDENLY THERE'S A LOUD THUD AT THE DOOR!! POUND POUND POUND!! SMASH SMASH POUND!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
root Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Maybe they want to join you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Maybe they're going in to wash their hands and don't want to touch the door with their contaminated meatgrabbers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Instead of complaining in the internet yell at them and tell them not to do it anymore. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Maybe YOU'RE the jackass who uses the toilet to urinate rather than be a real man and use the urinal and on top of using a whole stall to urinate you miss all the time and get it all over the toilet seat. Maybe your co-workers just want to go in there and help you with your aiming. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlusThirtyOne Posted June 19, 2016 Author Share Posted June 19, 2016 29 minutes ago, #00Buck said: Instead of complaining in the internet yell at them and tell them not to do it anymore. 1 minute ago, Frig said: Maybe YOU'RE the jackass who uses the toilet to urinate rather than be a real man and use the urinal and on top of using a whole stall to urinate you miss all the time and get it all over the toilet seat. Maybe your co-workers just want to go in there and help you with your aiming. Unfortunately it's a full blown one-person bathroom getup with no urinal. The door is huge, metal and super thick. Nobody can hear you inside or outside when the door is closed. Yelling would do nothing but deafen myself and there's no way of knowing which of my 20+ male coworkers it could be. And well...you know...bitching on the internet solves everything. Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 8 minutes ago, PlusThirtyOne said: Unfortunately it's a full blown one-person bathroom getup with no urinal. The door is huge, metal and super thick. Nobody can hear you inside or outside when the door is closed. Yelling would do nothing but deafen myself and there's no way of knowing which of my 20+ male coworkers it could be. And well...you know...bitching on the internet solves everything. Right? If the door is that massive pushing it with your shoulder to open it is perfectly justified. Who puts a bathroom in a bank vault? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wax Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 My work bathroom always stinks as it seems every time I'm working it's been graced by a guy who took a shit and decided not to flush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlusThirtyOne Posted June 19, 2016 Author Share Posted June 19, 2016 1 hour ago, #00Buck said: If the door is that massive pushing it with your shoulder to open it is perfectly justified. Who puts a bathroom in a bank vault? Not with a running start! LOL (which is what it sounds like from inside) i -and presumably my coworkers- can open the door with one hand without a lot of force. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrDingo Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 2 hours ago, PlusThirtyOne said: The door is huge, metal and super thick. Nobody can hear you inside or outside when the door is closed. Yelling would do nothing but deafen myself Maybe they make it soundproof so that people can release stress by yelling really loud in there It's not a bug, it's a feature Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rassah Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Quote What if i forgot to lock the door?! You look them right in the eye, smile, part your legs, and say, "Well? It ain't going to suck itself!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hux Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 40 minutes ago, Rassah said: You look them right in the eye, smile, part your legs, and say, "Well? It ain't going to suck itself!" Ur a strate up balla, yo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 8 hours ago, PlusThirtyOne said: Unfortunately it's a full blown one-person bathroom getup with no urinal. The door is huge, metal and super thick. Nobody can hear you inside or outside when the door is closed. Yelling would do nothing but deafen myself and there's no way of knowing which of my 20+ male coworkers it could be. And well...you know...bitching on the internet solves everything. Right? Well, good to know the patriarchy is responsible for bathroom door pounding. SJW level over 9K. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatFanatic Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 9 hours ago, #00Buck said: Who puts a bathroom in a bank vault? Containment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Just now, TheGreatFanatic said: Containment. Like a hotbox for farts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatFanatic Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 3 minutes ago, #00Buck said: Like a hotbox for farts? Vault #123. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Just yell "COME GIVE ME HEAD WHILE I TAKE A SHIT" and it will stop after that <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 2 minutes ago, Ricky said: Just yell "COME GIVE ME HEAD WHILE I TAKE A SHIT" and it will stop after that <3 Or the door will get kicked down and you will get head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 7 minutes ago, #00Buck said: Or the door will get kicked down and you will get head. WHY I do I picture your mouth watering as you type that DDD: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Just now, Ricky said: WHY I do I picture your mouth watering as you type that DDD: Cuz ur gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 2 minutes ago, #00Buck said: Cuz ur gay. Gay is liking dicks, not liking the poo. D: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#00Buck Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Just now, Ricky said: Gay is liking dicks, not liking the poo. So you're a scat man? Scooby Doobie Bee Bop? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Just now, #00Buck said: So you're a scat man? Scooby Doobie Bee Bop? Get away from me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 well, that went interesting places... nobody ever knocked at my old job. they just tried to come in, and when jiggling the handle didn't work because it was locked, they banged on it and tried even harder and yelled to the nearest person that the door was locked for some unknown reason. like it was unfathomable that someone might be in the bathroom. i don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlusThirtyOne Posted June 20, 2016 Author Share Posted June 20, 2016 14 hours ago, #00Buck said: Well, good to know the patriarchy is responsible for bathroom door pounding. SJW level over 9K. Great. Now all i can picture in my head is Big Red sitting on the toilet and yelling, "Let me finiiiiiiiish!!","i'm not done!!", "Aaaaaaaanywaaaaaaaay~!!". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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