Spiritual Numbness

[Terminal7]

Recently(more like the last few months),  I've been experiencing this issue that's not very easy to fight back. Despite some belief that I'm sort if deity, I still understand that I'm not God, nor can I play Him. It's impossible for me to control the way people act. I'm not omnipotent either. Let's just say that the relationships in the church always seem to be shallow. It's run by the elitists not the elites, and It's been leading to the debt of the church and the overall negative image it puts off. What's worse is that most of them aren't even good at filling their positions (mainly deacons).

It's lead to this huge issue whereas people were leaving gaps in their work and required somebody to pick up the slack.

One being the tiny choir that was there. I took that spot along with a few other kids that haven't returned in 2 years. 

Another was the lack of a photographer which I took personally.

Since nobody wanted to deal with kids, I took that spot too. 

Now, even coming to service feels like a spot I need to fill since I'm the oldest young adult that still goes. Apparently, I set the example for all the rest, which now they have to pick up the messes of the whole congregation. 

When they notice I don't smile much,  clap or even stomp my foot during service, they wonder why. It's because of the the artificial environment they've created for themselves and others: The new choir always sings the same few songs, people making the same obnoxiously loud prayers trying to drown out the others, even the pointless consistory meetings that even the pastor is disgusted by. 

He has offered me the pastor position even though one of the deacons is going to seminary school,  which isn't a good sign for the church. 

All of these things have been disrupting the growth of my faith and reducing my ability to accept joy.

[#00Buck]

I have some experience with "spiritual numbness."

The first time I'm being "spiritual" it takes about 10 minutes and feels great.

The second time takes about 15 minutes and still feels good. 

If I wait a bit I can be "spiritual" again in about half an hour if I let it rest for a bit but it is really numb.

The fourth time it takes a really long time and really isn't much fun for me. I mean it's totally numb so really I'm just doing it for the other person. 

[diretractor]

Spirituality is a complex thing because just about everything influences it: depression, being overworked, medications, etc. It can be hard to tell where those positive or negative emotions are coming from. The best I've done for my spirituality is to be more analytical about it so I can understand what is the spirit and what isn't. My spirituality has comes from more foundational things, rather than the spikes of spirituality created by congregations. Again, totally an upbringing thing because that's just how our church is, but it is easier to weather spiritual storms that way.

Nothing kills spirituality more than poor leadership, being overworked (again, poor leadership), and bad parents (ditto).

[Conker]

I've always been a believer that spirituality and religion needn't be connected. If going to church isn't giving you the feelings you were once getting, perhaps you should try another venue. Going on a long hike and experiencing nature, for example.

Or do what I do and attend metal concerts and get really drunk. Nothin' makes you feel closer to people/something bigger than having a thousand people scream the word "FUCK" while jumping up and down because a guy with a guitar told you to.

[willow]

this is partially why my mom stopped going to church too..well that and because we just didn't like having to get ready for church :u

that being said, if religion is important to you, maybe practice at home or in private. or so what Conker suggested, minus the getting drunk part 

[Kinare]

Yeah... big reason I stopped wanting to go to church was because I felt like when I went I was being judged all the time and people were just in general not very nice, kinda stuck up, with a few exceptions of course. Problem is, those not nice ones ruin things. There's also and excessive amount of singing...

After I got to be an adult and could make my own decisions on whether or not I had to go, I really started considering a lot of things about Christianity (the one I was raised as) and other religions. I still think there's one God, but my conclusions don't align with any religion currently. It seems to me that all of them have flaws and inconsistencies that bother me, so rather than conform and fel uncomfortable about one aspect of a religion, I simply don't conform.

The last client I had was a devout Catholic and every so often she would attend night services and I'd have to meet at her church to relieve the day person and sit with her during the service. Even though I don't agree with a lot of things that Catholics do, any time I went there it felt... I dunno, "comforting" may be the right word? Not sure. The priest guy didn't seem stuck up at all, really friendly and kind and just a bit silly. I never was able to get much of an impression of other people there, but the last service they had was quite interesting and I feel like they hit the nail on the head when it comes to how we should view people who struggle or are different (which a lot of religious folks have trouble with, sadly). It's funny how a religion I very much disagree with could provide that sort of comforting feeling.

That said, I do think a lot of it comes down to the environment you place yourself in, aside from your beliefs. If the church is stressing you out that much, you can either keep going and hope it will improve (maybe go to other lengths to attempt to fix it), or you can leave and try to find a different church or practice in private.

[Conker]

20 hours ago, willow said:

this is partially why my mom stopped going to church too..well that and because we just didn't like having to get ready for church :u

that being said, if religion is important to you, maybe practice at home or in private. or so what Conker suggested, minus the getting drunk part 

Aye. Getting drunk is optional. I find a little helps loosen me up though.

But don't get like top-10 smashed or anything. Just ruins it for those around you >_>

OP, might I suggest stargazing as an outlet for spirituality? It's wonderful and makes you really feel connected to the universe.

[Azure]

On 2/29/2016 at 10:01 AM, Conker said:

I've always been a believer that spirituality and religion needn't be connected. If going to church isn't giving you the feelings you were once getting, perhaps you should try another venue. Going on a long hike and experiencing nature, for example.

Or do what I do and attend metal concerts and get really drunk. Nothin' makes you feel closer to people/something bigger than having a thousand people scream the word "FUCK" while jumping up and down because a guy with a guitar told you to.

A good metal show is oodles more spiritual than some dross church service, hell ive had more spiritual experiences with a needle and some dope in a bush than i ever had in any church. I really think that church is placebo spirituality for many people who go because of tradition or family or personal guilt. Free yourselves you bastards, a tree can be spiritual if you open yourself to it, but a room full of spiritual automatons will always depress you until youve fallen to their level of numbness too.

[NikoLinni]

11 minutes ago, Azure said:

A good metal show is oodles more spiritual than some dross church service, hell ive had more spiritual experiences with a needle and some dope in a bush than i ever had in any church. I really think that church is placebo spirituality for many people who go because of tradition or family or personal guilt. Free yourselves you bastards, a tree can be spiritual if you open yourself to it, but a room full of spiritual automatons will always depress you until youve fallen to their level of numbness too.

You actually said something about religion that I agree on for once

Or wait. Was it you that always got into religious debates on FAF? I know Captain Cool and a few others used to. 

[Azure]

3 minutes ago, NikoLinni said:

You actually said something about religion that I agree on for once

Or wait. Was it you that always got into religious debates on FAF? I know Captain Cool and a few others used to. 

I used to be really big on the whole MEGA ATHEIST SMASH deal. But you know what? I get that I dont get a damn thing, and that evil is only present in a mind that is closed to new experiences. This doesnt mean that i believe in a thing, but it means that i dont doubt what people feel anymore in regards to such a thing.

[Endless/Nameless]

2 hours ago, Azure said:

A good metal show is oodles more spiritual than some dross church service, hell ive had more spiritual experiences with a needle and some dope in a bush than i ever had in any church. I really think that church is placebo spirituality for many people who go because of tradition or family or personal guilt. Free yourselves you bastards, a tree can be spiritual if you open yourself to it, but a room full of spiritual automatons will always depress you until youve fallen to their level of numbness too.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. And I'm actually a Christian.

[Terminal7]

8 hours ago, Azure said:

A good metal show is oodles more spiritual than some dross church service, hell ive had more spiritual experiences with a needle and some dope in a bush than i ever had in any church. I really think that church is placebo spirituality for many people who go because of tradition or family or personal guilt. Free yourselves you bastards, a tree can be spiritual if you open yourself to it, but a room full of spiritual automatons will always depress you until youve fallen to their level of numbness too.

Well,  personal guilt is definitely a yes-reason, but I really go there because of the amount of things that I have to do in the church - which is a mutual thing between me and the pastor. Just like most people I get unmotivated & tired. The service doesn't help either. If you aren't a plastic puppet of self-denial something is wrong with you, at least by the congregation's standards. 

But you're right, a tree can be as spiritual, if not,  more than any church service.  The only thing to focus on is you & the tree or whatever you set your mind to. For me,  it's more like the sky & wind where I get most of my understanding from. The rest is from gardens and vegetation. 

 

 

[Azure]

2 hours ago, Terminal7 said:

Well,  personal guilt is definitely a yes-reason, but I really go there because of the amount of things that I have to do in the church - which is a mutual thing between me and the pastor. Just like most people I get unmotivated & tired. The service doesn't help either. If you aren't a plastic puppet of self-denial something is wrong with you, at least by the congregation's standards. 

But you're right, a tree can be as spiritual, if not,  more than any church service.  The only thing to focus on is you & the tree or whatever you set your mind to. For me,  it's more like the sky & wind where I get most of my understanding from. The rest is from gardens and vegetation. 

 

 

Church is an excellent place to feel like you are part of a community, and that is part of its power. And not only that but much learning happens too that isnt only religious in nature, like instruments, singing, anything really if the church is large enough. I also have a fondness for holy men of any persuasion, i often find them to be terribly interesting to talk to, and of much wisdom beyond their own rote religion. And for my part, I too gain understanding from the wind and the earth 

Edited March 2, 2016 by Azure

[FlynnCoyote]

Is it possible your sense of obligation is trapping you somewhere that you don't really want to be anymore?

[Terminal7]

4 hours ago, FlynnCoyote said:

Is it possible your sense of obligation is trapping you somewhere that you don't really want to be anymore?

Yup.

[FlynnCoyote]

On 4/3/2016 at 3:05 AM, Terminal7 said:

Yup.

In that case I think the answer is obvious. Try leaving for a while, pursue something you're more passionate about elsewhere. I don't think this is a spiritual problem, I think it's psychological. I don't know what your experience is, but I remember my church days as being depressing and incredibly dull. I stopped going the moment I was old enough to make that decision and I have been happier for it. Even more liberating was when I gave up on spirituality altogether. The world has enough to offer as it is without needing to pretend there's more.

[Snagged]

Search for your own spirituality on your own time. Not on scheduled time like the ones in churches

Should give you time and peace to find that religious experience. Meditate, pray, whatever you like to call it

50 minutes ago, FlynnCoyote said:

The world has enough to offer as it is without needing to pretend there's more

Still, it is fascinating to explore your own mind as you philosophize about something you cannot fully comprehend

If it is the community surrounding spirituality, then considering giving up your "duties" and finding another church

[MuttButt]

Petition God to shower Sunday services with titty dancers and cheap beer, that'll rope the youngins back in alright!

[Ieono]

Just now, MuttButt said:

Petition God to shower Sunday services with titty dancers and cheap beer, that'll rope the youngins back in alright!

Or you could do how they do in the ghetto church and have young ladies praise dancing, which is sometimes more like "twerking for Jesus."

Yeah, work with the elders to make it into something you'd like. Effect the change you wish to see. 

[FlynnCoyote]

Bring in some blackjack. And hookers.

[Rukh Whitefang]

On 2/29/2016 at 9:17 PM, Terminal7 said:

Recently(more like the last few months),  I've been experiencing this issue that's not very easy to fight back. Despite some belief that I'm sort if deity, I still understand that I'm not God, nor can I play Him. It's impossible for me to control the way people act. I'm not omnipotent either. Let's just say that the relationships in the church always seem to be shallow. It's run by the elitists not the elites, and It's been leading to the debt of the church and the overall negative image it puts off. What's worse is that most of them aren't even good at filling their positions (mainly deacons).

It's lead to this huge issue whereas people were leaving gaps in their work and required somebody to pick up the slack.

One being the tiny choir that was there. I took that spot along with a few other kids that haven't returned in 2 years. 

Another was the lack of a photographer which I took personally.

Since nobody wanted to deal with kids, I took that spot too. 

Now, even coming to service feels like a spot I need to fill since I'm the oldest young adult that still goes. Apparently, I set the example for all the rest, which now they have to pick up the messes of the whole congregation. 

When they notice I don't smile much,  clap or even stomp my foot during service, they wonder why. It's because of the the artificial environment they've created for themselves and others: The new choir always sings the same few songs, people making the same obnoxiously loud prayers trying to drown out the others, even the pointless consistory meetings that even the pastor is disgusted by. 

He has offered me the pastor position even though one of the deacons is going to seminary school,  which isn't a good sign for the church. 

All of these things have been disrupting the growth of my faith and reducing my ability to accept joy.

I'll put my two cents in. For those that don't know I am a pretty outspoken religious person, I run/help several FA Christian groups. I also write sermons and religious/philosophical journals and ramblings.

To me just from what you have written this church is not healthy. I don't see God as the center point of the church. The church sounds like a production, a place where people vie for positions that hold sway. First and foremost my number one recommendation is prayer (obviously this applies to someone who has given their life to Christ, otherwise that would be more important). Prayer to find a God centered, Gospel driven, prayerful church.

Here are 5 signs of a genuinely fruitful church:

1. A growing esteem for Jesus Christ
2. A discernible spirit of repentance
3. A dogged devotion to the Word of God
4. An interest in theology and doctrine
5. An evident love for God and love for neighbor

 

There is more that can be said but I don't want to make presumptions without knowing all or at least more of what is going on. Such as, does the spiritual numbness have anything to do with living in unrepentant sin?

 

[#00Buck]

Churches should start serving all day breakfast. 

[Strongbob]

I once met a man who knew all of the answers of life and death.  I sat and listened to his wisdom for a time and then continued on my way, for he was a fool.

-The Tao of Strongbob  

[FlynnCoyote]

On 6/3/2016 at 4:20 PM, #00Buck said:

Churches should start serving all day breakfast. 

There's an old church building in the next suburb from mine that got turned into an old timey german pub. The schnitzel there is fantastic. Best use for a church ever.