fennecbyte Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 Granted. You can summon it at the rate of one atom per minute. I wish I knew more programming languages. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricky Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 13 minutes ago, george99g said: I wish I knew more programming languages. Good. Now you know Lisp, Scheme, COBOL, Delphi and every other useless language nobody uses anymore. I want 40 latent homosexual male virgins in a suite in the Four Seasons downtown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRadarEars Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Granted, they all kind of shift about awkwardly staring at their feet for a few hours before going home. I wish I could read minds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Granted! But in 99.9% of all cases, you find there is nothing there to read. I wish all furries could only have sex with obese mimes or anorexic clowns, after taking LSD, on a trampoline, on live PBS specials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Granted. You know that includes YOU, right? Now excuse me a second, I need to set up the trampoline as my anorexic clown is finally out of makeup and the PBS guys say they're ready. I wish all my friends were midgets so I could pretend to be a giant. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Granted. All your friends get eaten by mice so you no longer have any friends. Oh, and you accidentally step on a few of them and get arrested for manslaughter. Related comic: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17615947/ I wish I could get discounts on everything in all the stores I visit no matter what. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted. But you are soon captured by a formerly unknown tribe deep in the Amazon Jungle, who have no stores, and transact all trading using fox pelts as currency. For a while, they feed you very, very well... I wish I was the warden of a prison where all the inmates and guards had to wear fursuits as uniforms. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted. They are able to hide all sorts of contraband in the suits and you get shivved on your first day. I wish people would just get along. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted but to the point where society becomes a giant hugbox. I wish I had a pastry of some sort for breakfast right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted. It is one of our forum members. You get arrested for murder and cannibalism and get killed while in prison for you heinous crimes. I wish for a 5ft x 6ft sheet of aluminum that is a twelfth of an inch thick. For... purposes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRadarEars Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted, but it gets stolen off the truck before you can take it home D: I wish I had a cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted but this is the cat you receive, I wish I had a new pair of Diesel hightops and my sneaker size was smaller > >. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted. You have a new pair of high-tops, soaked in diesel fuel, which are quickly set on fire by a group of evil clowns, tossing pies and cigarette butts out of the window of their passing clown car. After extensive surgery to save your feet, your sneaker size is much smaller. I wish I worked in a bakery with Frig. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 You kind of corrupted your own wish! Granted but you look like an animated pile of cream and crust. I wish my car would stay brand new looking all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Granted, but you can't drive it anymore. I wish for the best tasting pizza. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted but what makes it so tasty are the high levels of botulinum. I wish I had some decent cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRadarEars Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted, but before you get to eat it, someone eats all of the delicious, moist inner cake, leaving only the outer crust and quickly-drying outer-frosting. I wish I had like, a million quarters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilBear Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted. You are crushed under the 62.5 tons of metal those coins are made of. I wish could eat pizza and not have to worry about the calories or fat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted, you just have to worry about the sugar from sauce. I wish I had the opportunity to host my own successful show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRadarEars Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted, unfortunately its a show in the vein of Maury and Jerry Springer, and you get harassed daily by all of your guests! I wish I had a laser gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted! You are now the host of a very successful reality TV show about the detailed, up-close workings of a major sewage treatment plant someplace in New Jersey, in an era of crumbling infrastructure. I wish had a job where I was the teacher in a school where all the students did nothing but learn to make fur-suits, and then hosted an annual talent show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted. You get so successful that a deranged fan kidnaps you one night, they lock you in their basement and force you to watch reruns of your show all the time. I wish for World Nuclear War. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted! Sadly, most of the population dies, except you and a small number of Justin Beiber mutant-clones, who all have the biggest crush on you, and chase you around mercilessly. I wish somebody would draw a cute avi of my Fossa fursona! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilBear Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted, but then your super cute avatar attracts an Internet stalker who is convinced you love them. I wish I never had to pay for coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Granted. But small cups are $10, creamer is $3, and sugar is $1 a teaspoon I wish my cat would stop shedding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DevilBear Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 44 minutes ago, Enigma said: Granted. But small cups are $10, creamer is $3, and sugar is $1 a teaspoon I wish my cat would stop shedding HA! I WIN! I DRINK MY COFFEE BLACK AND BRING MY OWN TUMBLER. Granted. You cat is now hairless and hates you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Your nothing has been granted. I wish I neva had to pay fo' anyrhag eva again guuurl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fennecbyte Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted. You get kicked out onto the street because you didn't pay your taxes. You die thirsty a few weeks later because you didn't pay for water. I wish interesting things would happen more often. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted. They do. Just not to you. Ever. I wish the 'make a wish' foundation was actually run by genuine Arabian genies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted, but they work for various terrorist organizations. I wish I could catch better...or at least had better reflexes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted. You catch... balls.. in places I wish I had a time machine. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted, but it takes you back to the times of medieval inquisition and witch trials. I wish I stayed the age I am at forever and never aged either physically or mentally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted. You enter deep depression as everyone you ever love or loved ages and dies around you. Unable to take the pain you hide away in a cave in Tajikistan forever. I wish for chocolate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted, you are now an Aztec, creators of the original chocolate, 'Cacahuatl'. Of course they didn't sweeten it so it's quite bitter, but the cinnamon spices it up. It actually tastes quite nice, as you discover on your way up the ziggurat to be sacrificed to Xipe Totec. (They usually only use young men, but they're making an exception just for you!) I wish I had an extendable forefinger. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 2 hours ago, Frig said: Granted, but it takes you back to the times of medieval inquisition and witch trials. Awesome! I will rule them as a god! @Faust Granted. But by the time you get one you are too old and must brought to the near death star. I wish I could read every language 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreatFanatic Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted, though, no one fucking reads anymore. I wish Ludex Gundyr wasn't so damn annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucidLynx Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted, but now, Champion Gundyr is near impossible to beat. I wish I could make time go by faster. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Granted and you're taken to the end of time. I wish clients would stop passing out from vertigo in the waiting area at my work. Forcing EMT's to take them out on stretchers all while random passers-byers take pics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 16 hours ago, TheGreatFanatic said: I wish Ludex Gundyr wasn't so damn annoying. Bait him from long range until he takes three steps and leaps. Dodge sideways and attack three times from flank while he's recovering. Don't try it if he jumps from a standing start as his recovery is much shorter! Once he starts transforming, dash in and pile away like crazy - you can usually whittle him down to almost-dead before he finishes transforming. From that point, circle warily left. @frig: Granted! Your office is moved underground. It's cold, clammy and in winter you never see the sun at all, leading to a raging case of SAD. I wish that mainstream entertainment was based on talent rather than 'celebrities' being groomed for stardom by artificial marketing campaigns and trashy gossip. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Granted. However all these talented people have a Nazi fetish that they love to show on TV. Congratulations, White Supremists are now all on TV. I wish I could enter the Warcraft universe and live there as a badass Kaldorei assassin who makes a successful living there! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Granted! You are now an NPC. You're capable only of standing in one place and saying the exact same thing over and over again to all the player characters who approach you. The big question mark you have to wear on your head most of the time is made of solid gold and rather heavy, but you're making upward of 20,000 red snappers and lion's spleens a day for doing absolutely nothing. I wish the new Warcraft movie was actually good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frig Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Granted but it's a theatre only release and theaters are forced to shut down due to overbearing stench. I wish I could skip my 25 minute get ready routine and still look/smell just as good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Granted! You manage to skip the routine. You smell great, and look awesome. But once out in public, you realize something is missing: clothing. You're quickly carted away by the cops for indecent exposure. I wish I could be a fossa for a day, playfully jumping from branch to branch, high in the tree-tops, chasing lemurs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 6 hours ago, Faust said: I wish the new Warcraft movie was actually good. I really enjoyed it and I roleplayed for 8 years on WoW! 19 minutes ago, Fossa-Boy said: I wish I could be a fossa for a day, playfully jumping from branch to branch, high in the tree-tops, chasing lemurs. Granted! Unfortunately you happened to jump right into a hunters trap and are now well... hunted. I wish that whenever I order a cheeseburger I get that. A burger made of cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 5 minutes ago, Kinharia said: I wish that whenever I order a cheeseburger I get that. A burger made of cheese. Granted! Sadly, it's a very, very hard Italian grating cheese, that's been left out, and become very dry and hard. So hard, that you break several teeth as you bite into it, and must quickly rush to the dentist, who decided you need to immediately be fitted for leopard dentures. I wish all furries smelled like their fursonas. Just now, Fossa-Boy said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faust Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Granted! All fursonas are now humans in bad animal onesies. I wish someone would delete that awful Donald Trump photo from the Internet. You know, the one where he's ranting, biting his lip, and clearly about to say the word 'Fuck'. I don't like the man any more than anybody else but I am sick of seeing the twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I don't like him either. Granted. Now all you get are his dick pics. I wish spam bots didn't exist 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Granted! They are replaced by actual 'bots' that come into your home, and physically prevent you from using your computer, and then go on to download hideous pictures of Donald Trump. I wish Donald Trump's head would explode while he was giving a speech, spattering everyone with whatever is inside it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinharia Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Granted. He grows two more heads so now he is doubly annoying. I wish for a potato 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fossa Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 Granted! Unfortunately, it's a cursed potato. Merely touching it compels you to work 12 hour shifts at the french-fry station at MCDonald's for the rest of your life, even though you don't want to; the 'curse of the potato' forces your body to go through the motions over and over and over... I wish I had a herd of goats, so I could make my own artisinal cheese. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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